7 weeks and feeling scared [content warning - miscarriage]

[OnTheDrive]

Im 7+3 with my second pregnancy - have a beautiful DS at home. Fertility treatment for my DS and this pregnancy. It has been a nightmare since we have found out.
I began spotting on Christmas Eve. Seen in EPU after Christmas, all fine. Woke in agony and bleeding NYE and brought into hospital via ambulance. Suspected ectopic. Laparoscopy revealed large cyst - too close to corpus luteum to remove so it was drained.
Scanned a couple of days ago in EPU for follow up, despite ongoing spotting, baby has a heartbeat.
Awful cramps started this evening. Saw GP and now ended up being admitted to hospital. They’ve tried to do an internal exam with a speculum but I’m too sore - the doctor is now unsure what to do next but I can’t tolerate the speculum. I’m incredibly sore from recent surgery and numerous cervical examinations I’ve had over the last few weeks.
I’m not sure what I’m even looking for with this post, maybe a hand hold. I’m so scared - I’m in agony. I’ve been given morphine but that hasn’t stopped the pain. Can you cervix be seen via ultrasound? I’m so scared I’m going to lose this baby.

[Thread moved and title edited by MNHQ at OP's request]

Is anyone around for some support? I can’t switch off, I have no idea what’s going on - the doctor has disappeared elsewhere without letting me know the plan going forward.

I've never been through this but I can offer a handhold. Can you call a nurse and try find out what's happening ? It's not right for you to be left alone and worried.

@Lindtcat Thankyou, that’s so kind. I tried ringing my buzzer and one of the HCA came and said she would try and find out but hasn’t come back.
I completely appreciate the ward is very busy and the staff are spread so thin.
I’m trying to calm myself but I’m thinking the worst. The fact that they haven’t checked on the baby makes me wonder if they think miscarriage is inevitable.

I can imagine it's so hard to stay calm when you have so many thoughts running through your head. The uncertainty of not knowing right now is probably making it worse for you. I'm sure the HCA will come speak to you when she has a minute. Drs should be round by 8am. You must be feeling so exhausted. Is there anyway you can get a hot drink? Might help you to try get a little bit of sleep while you wait.

@Lindtcat Thankyou for being a voice of reason - I’m spiralling in my head a bit thinking maybe the HCA knows it’s bad news but I’m sure she is just incredibly busy and overstretched. A hot drink sounds lovely but I’m nil by mouth - although I’m not sure why - I was just informed when I was wheeled up from a&e. Thankyou again for being so kind and replying, it is helping just to get my thoughts out - I apologise if they are a jumbled mess.

They are not a jumbled mess at all. I completely understand why you feel the way that you do. I know it's so hard but try not to worry, you're in the best place to get the best care that you may need. In the morning, you will know more. Do you have any podcasts or Netflix shows you're into right now? Perhaps you could put one on low volume and watch till you fall asleep? Just to distract your mind for a bit.

I’m sorry you’re going through this, you must be so scared.

Try not to put too much emphasis on them not checking on the baby. In my experience, that’s normal once they have established it’s not an eptopic pregnancy.

I know it’s hard but do you have anything to take your mind off it? Headphones to listen to a podcast or a book to read? We’re all thinking about you and wishing you the best

I’m awake if you still need a hand hold. Could you try gas & air to allow them to check your cervix? I found it a godsend when I was being induced and was too sore to allow an internal check any other way.

Keeping fingers crossed you have some answers now and baby is ok xx

You're doing everything you can and you're in the right place to get everything checked. Sounds really stressful, you've handled so much already really hoping everything goes well xx

@Lindtcat @Boringcookingquestion @PointyMcguire @LemonBounce
I just wanted to Thankyou all for your replies and apologise for not responding. I have sadly had a miscarriage in hospital - I’m feeling quite numb at the moment but I just wanted to Thankyou all for messaging and offering support and comfort during a difficulty time. X

Sending you love, OP.

Oh @OnTheDrive so sorry to hear that. Sending love x

@OnTheDrive im so sorry for your loss

So sorry for your loss 😢x

So sorry to hear that OP, we are all here for you xxx

Thankyou everyone for your love and kindness. I’m still in hospital as have a temperature so they think I may have an infection too. I just feel numb - I had my scan yesterday morning and despite all the bleeding and pain, baby was there with a heartbeat looking perfect. They even printed me out a scan picture. And then a few hours later, it’s gone. I just can’t get my head around it. I am absolutely devastated.

I miscarried one of my IVF pregnancies in similar circumstances, so my heart goes out to you. Cry all you need to and be kind to yourself xx

Sorry for your loss OP, I can't imagine the pain you're in. I hope you can get out of the hospital and start feeling better soon