Telling work about miscarriage?

[Timetomove22]

Hi

I'm having my second miscarriage in 3 months.

I had surgical management with the first. Work were supportive, i had 2 weeks paid leave (we normally only get sick pay) and was well supported when I returned.

However this is happening again now and in 2 weeks time I'll likely be having surgical management again, or a miscarriage before then. I don't know how to tell my work this is happening again or if i should try and say

its something else . this time?

On one hand I feel like I will need some time to recover and cope (I keep bursting into tears every day as it is).

On the other I think they will be very aware that I'm actively trying to have a baby which obviously isn't what I'd want my boss to know altho I know they can't discriminate against me, I just don't want them to know

I don't know what to do

@Timetomove22 I'm so sorry for both of your losses. I'm going through a similar thing - miscarried at work a few months ago (naturally but I was so upset so they knew and I had 2 weeks off). Just had another mmc and I'm going to need the D&C this time which is booked for tomorrow. I can't bear the thought of telling them again so I'm going to just say I have a procedure after what happened last time to keep it vague and then go back to work next week. I think it's completely personal choice and if you need the time off, it would be worth letting them know. My GP said they can provide a sick note which saying specifically what it is for.

Sorry that should say without saying what it is specifically for.

So sorry to hear this.
I d contact your GP to get signed off sick and agree with PP about getting them to put gynae problem/procedure on the sick note.

That way you can maintain your privacy about the mc at the moment. But that leaves the option open to tell them on your return to work should you wish to as you haven't lied by inventing an illness.

I agree it’s totally your decision but I would say that having time off for pregnancy related illness, including miscarriage, is protected whereas being off sick for something else could leave a mark on your sickness absence file.
I am so so sorry you’re going through this.

Thank you everyone for your responses. So sorry to hear you have been through the same thing as well, it's really awful and I hope you are all coping and supported.

I think that's a good idea to say it's a follow up procedure related to last time, I will speak to my boss once I've had my next scan done :(

@tttc2022 good luck tomorrow with the D&c, I hope it goes well and you can start to recover once it's done x

Thanks @Timetomove22, it's such a horrible position to be in but I'm trying to focus on the fact that having it done means I can start to physically and mentally heal from what has by far been the worst few months of my life. Keeping everything crossed for us both that 2023 is a much more positive year.