When will I start to feel better?

[Cait93]

Hi all,

looking for some advice/answers/anything!

I miscarried at 8 weeks and had surgical management 28th November, 4 weeks yesterday. Physically, I recovered well, bled for about a week, hardly any cramps etc. Got first negative test last Thursday.

Emotionally, I can’t seem to get a grip! I have to make a conscious effort not to cry every single day and I still fail. I just feel so sad all the time, I seem to have lost interest in just about everything.

Im quite a strong person and I honestly thought I would be ok a couple weeks after but it’s really hit me like a ton of bricks.

I feel like I will only be happy again once I’m pregnant, I just have an overwhelming urge to be pregnant again.

I feel stupid and pathetic for being this upset about it!

Has anyone else felt like? How long does it take to feel like yourself again?

thank you x

@Cait93 so sorry for your loss. Your post has really resonated with how I'm feeling at the moment. Did things get better for you? It feels like there's a dark cloud always above me and I just can't shake it and can't see a way through it. It's only been 4 weeks since my MMC was diagnosed but they have been the hardest 4 weeks of my life.

Hi, so sad to hear you are going through the same situation, it really is awful and soul destroying. As time went by, I did start to feel better, I think I was putting so much pressure on myself to ‘get over it’ which made me feel worse in the long run. Be kind to yourself and allow yourself to feel whatever you’re feeling for however long it takes is my best advice. I’m currently 28 weeks pregnant which I was so desperate to happen again after the MMC. It took me around 5 months to conceive again but it happened at the right time. Always here for a chat, lots of hugs and I promise you will start to feel more like yourself soon xxx

You poor thing(s.) It can take a long while to really feel better. Be gentle with yourself. Realize that this is among the hardest experiences you will have. Don't expect everyone to understand how you feel. Just feel how you feel and put one foot in front of each other. I can honestly tell you that 28 years later I remember it like it was yesterday. It doesn't hurt me the way it did, but it left a permanent mark on my heart.

@Cait93 thank you so much for your message - it warms my heart to know that you're moving forward with your journey and I hope I'll be following soon. I'm so eager to TTC again but I'm in the 4-6 week wait for my period which is painful. Was the MMC your first miscarriage?

@SpuytenDuyvil thank you for your kind words. It is hurting a lot and cutting me to the core at the moment. I'm sure I'll get through this but right now I'm not sure how. I'm in my early 30s but feel such a sense of time pressure and blaming myself for not TTC sooner.

Yes first miscarriage, looking back I think I knew from day one something wasn’t right, I even remember saying the day I found out it didn’t feel right but just put it down to anxiety! Very strange but couldn’t explain the feeling! This pregnancy, was a lot calmer, no anxiety at all considering the previous! They do say sometimes your body just needs a ‘practice run’ which I guess is a practical way of looking at it? I’m also in my early thirties by the way and please be assured you have loads of time left! I think my period took about 8 weeks in total to return and I’m not going to lie, I was obsessed with getting pregnant. Looked into acupuncture, had 3 sessions, 1 a week building up to when I was due and fell pregnant! Convinced that’s what helped me conceive! It really made me feel a lot of calmer about the situation which could of also help conceive xxx

People will say you should get over it and you certainly will, but just live in the truth that something sad has happened to you. I had my MC at 40 and my lovely DS at 41. I would have tried for a second but my husband was happy with one, so we stopped.

@Cait93 I can totally relate to that! My husband is super optimistic so I kind of ignored any doubt I was feeling. Sounds like we are very similar in a lot of ways. I had three months without a period before I got pregnant (due to amenorrhea) so I have the added worry of whether this will happen again. I'll have to look into acupuncture when the time comes round. I wasn't sure I was ready to start a family until I was pregnant and now I've never been so sure. Your story gives me hope so thank you for sharing x

@SpuytenDuyvil thank you for sharing your story. Having it happen with the first pregnancy just feels like the almightiest of blows and I worry it might never happen, but I'm sure things will get easier and my time will come.

@13lucy hi! I just came across my post and wandered how you are doing? X

@Cait93 strangely enough just had a positive pregnancy test this morning and I have no idea how to feel right now! It's been 6 cycles TTC and I was convinced there was something wrong with me. Going to try and take it a day at a time and not get too far ahead of myself.

Hope you're doing ok?

Wow that is amazing!!! So happy for you!!! Completely agree, can be so stressful and anxiety inducing. As you said, take it a day at a time!

im really good thanks, baby boy is nearly 5 months and what a whirlwind it has been!

keep me posted! Inbox open if you ever want to chat xx

@Cait93 thank you! That's incredible, I bet it's amazing to get to that point.

To be honest I didn't think it would take 6 cycles to conceive. I said to DH that I'd go private for investigations after this and crazy that I've fallen pregnant on this cycle. It's given me confidence that it can happen and maybe something isn't 'wrong' with me.

Really appreciate you checking in and I'm sure I'll take you up on the inbox offer!

had miscarriage 18 weeks and 5 days. Its been now 3-4 weeks. I've been experiencing cramping that isn't improving. The pain doesn't get better with ibuprofen. It's centered around my belly button and extends horizontally towards the sides. It feels like a line going across the middle of my abdomen, and the pain comes and goes.
According to doc ultrasound looks good and blood work looks good but this pain is not going away.

@Sam1991qq sorry to hear this. Might be worth speaking to EPU or to you doctor again, especially if it's causing you pain.