Carrying around a non viable pregnancy

[Tweetypie27]

Well yesterday was Xmas day was told Friday my baby had died last week it was only measuring 6.5 weeks I’m 10.5 weeks now.
Had a scan every week for three weeks had a little HB but it was slow.

Being told Friday was the worst I hosted dinner for all my family they all know and we’re worried I insisted on going ahead for them and to keep my busy. Knowing I’m carrying this fetus around that has died is horrible I came to my room a few times to cry.

I decided to do it naturally as I’ve already had two natural MC at 6/7 weeks and know how to manage but this one is further now my body hasn’t realised yet so I think I’m going to take the medical management route soon.

yesterday was awful to be honest I have other children my little girl is two and I didn’t engage or enjoy Xmas with her like I usually would it stole my special day with her.

I can’t go through this again I’ve got children but mentally everyday for three weeks I’ve been in hell I’m half alive I’m so scared of the bleeding I mean is it going to be a 7 week loss or a 10 week loss how bad will it be.

I’ve spent all day in bed with this flu thing went the toilet and lots of mucus is coming out in spurts clear but gloopy so think it will start soon I’m hoping I want to move on I hate life it’s made me feel suicidal tbh.

Sorry just need to vent somewhere

I don't have any advice but I just wanted to say I'm so sorry xxxx

A handhold from me. I'm so sorry. 🌹

What an awful day to be told. Just offering you a handhold too

I'm sorry. Exactly the same thing happened to me, same dates, in 2014. I even visited my best friend who'd just given birth and held her new baby, knowing mine was still dead inside me (I didn't tell her as it didn't seem fair). Everyone reacts differently and there's no right way to feel. But if it helps you to know, I felt sad for a couple of days and then suddenly I just felt overwhelming gratitude for the child I had, my DH and everything I had. I hope you feel this too. We went on to have a baby the following year. I hope the same for you.

I’m sorry lovely. This sounds so hard. Id like to send you a big cuddle and a reminder of better days to come. Xx

Something similar happened to me over Christmas a couple of years ago. I was told day after Boxing Day at a private scan that hb had stopped at 10 weeks. I was 11 weeks by then. No bleeding but felt terrible carrying it around wondering when it would happen. I begged my local EPU for the medical management. I had it the day after New Year’s Day. Very straightforward physically. If it doesn’t start soon please ask for some help. Sending hugs. Awful time of year to miscarry

I'm sorry OP

I'm in a similar position. I actually started a thread too for a bit of a vent

Take care of yourself ❤️

Thanks you ladies I’m glad most of Christmas is over today it doesn’t help I have a cold I say cold but it’s the worst cold I’ve ever had for some reason and I feel awful physically aswell as mentally.
My heart goes out to women it’s happened to especially at Christmas. At least I have other children so I’m in a better position than some it doesn’t help you at the time though.
Im definitely going to have the pessaries next Monday if nothing happens as mentally you can’t move on your stuck in a horrible limbo they told me as it was Christmas I couldn’t have any treatment until the 3rd of January so keeping that date as a goal.
Thanks so much for your kind words.

Really sorry for you.

Thankyou for this helps to reassure after reading horror stories of it being like labour my 7 week miscarriage was grim but I didn’t have labour pains thankfully. How was the pain for you ?

@Tweetypie27 no pain as I went for the surgical management. Hope you’re ok x

I'm so sorry for your loss @Tweetypie27
The medically managed option might be the best route for you. I was 10.5 weeks when I found out the HB had stopped at 7.5 weeks with my most recent loss.
My body just wouldn't let everything go so I opted for medical management. I had very little pain and the bleeding started within 6 hours. I honestly felt like it was the best decision to have medical management and it allowed me to begin the healing process both physically and emotionally.

How are you feeling today Op?

That’s reassuring to hear Thankyou the horror stories frighten me but want to give it a go at doing it myself if I can. How long did the worst of it last ? How were the pains? Sorry you went through this.

Thankyou for asking I am so unwell with this cold I haven’t had a cold for about two years and I’ve broken out in cold sores all across my lips both my eyes are swollen too I look so awful and have this MC on top to deal with it’s not easy. It’s just one of those times you want over and for it to be a distant memory.
Just wish my body would sort this asap :(

I know how you feel.

Be kind to yourself.

Lysine and Zovirax for your cold sores and plenty of rest. Maybe some night nurse to help you sleep it off?

A new year next week and the start of new things and happier times ❤️

OP I am sorry. 💐

This happened to me Christmas Eve 1996. I had fainted on the walk to work the week previously and that triggered a scan being booked for 24th. It was my first pregnancy and I went hysterically after being told no heartbeat.

like you I did not want to carry a dead thing around. Had a surgical removal the same day. I should have been 8 weeks but foetus stopped at 6.5 weeks.

I can remember laying in my own bed at midnight feeling devastated and a neighbour (drunk) ringing a bell in the street at midnight. The only tv I enjoyed that year was Eastenders because it was a miserable story line. Worst thing on telly that year was Only Fools and Horses, it was the year that the writers thought giving the character Cassandra a miscarriage would be comedy gold 🙄. To this day Only Fools and Horses is banned viewing in our house.

@Tweetypie27 the worst of it was over in about 12 hours. The bleeding started at 4pm and I felt the urge to sit on the loo approximately once an hour to pass various sized clots (sorry if TMI but want to be honest). I then passed the foetus at 4am. I had to recover the foetus so that I could take it to my local hospital to be sent for testing. It probably sounds odd but I actually felt a sense of stillness and peace when the foetus passed. I then bled like a normal period for approximately 7 days. With the exception of a dull period type pain, I felt no other discomfort which was a blessing.

Thanks so much it helps to get an idea of what to expect. I felt strange after my last MC like how I felt after giving birth like an organ was missing hard to explain but I was ok after a bit.
i don’t have to keep anything so will just flush it away I’m not brave enough to look I’ve never been good with things like that.
Im going Monday is nothing happens in the meantime I’m hoping I can go on a walk tomorrow to try and get it moving but depends if I’m better.
Thanks for replying especially at this time of year.

I remember that storyline it’s so hard to feel happy and with it isn’t it how can you be.
New year soon so I’m just hoping things get better I’m like a zombie at the moment :/

Thanks so much yes must try to get to a chemist tomorrow get some things to boost my immune system. I feel so crap at the moment appreciate all the replies especially being Christmas means a lot to me.

I'm so sorry. This was me a few days before Christmas 2011. I had surgical management on 23rd December.

I'm so sorry. I had similar a few years ago but before Xmas, that must be awful to go through.

I opted for a D&C in the end. My body was showing no signs of knowing the baby wasn't growing after a couple of weeks, I still had a lot of PG symptoms which was really upsetting. Being at work and wondering if that was the day I would MC was awful. It was a really easy process in the end and I think for me it helped beat the uncertainty.

I hope the cold starts to ease soon, there are some awful viruses going around and it must feel like a kick in the teeth to have to go through that with everything else.

Try to look after yourself

Thankyou well if the medical managed route doesn’t work I will get the D & C I’m hoping it does work for me though nothing worse than being in limbo like this though.