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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

Original poster

I miscarried this morning

59 replies

ttcttc · 26/12/2022 17:14

Just that really. Just wanted to say it (maybe a bit weird). Was 6w+3d

Been bleeding/spotting on and off since Monday. And uti symptoms

Tried GP they sent me to 111. They rang me back in middle of night and closed my call. Hospital told me to speak to Gp. Gp said ring 111... decided to ride it out. Dropped water into surgery we'd/thu (can't mind) they didn't come back to me.

Finally got an app at choc Christmas Eve. Doctor was lovely but couldn't contact gynae. Was there 7-9. Told me there was E. coli in my water. Give me anti biotics and sent me home saying they'd invite me for a scan

Yesterday felt quite crap. Bleeding seemed to be getting heavier as in there every time I wiped. Bad cramps. Managed to do Christmas. Split myself on two a bit but uncomfortable all day.

Came home. Partner was on nights. Had a bath and got into bed. Slept 11-12:30 and woke up in pain.. awful doubled over pain. Much more than the cramps. Text partner and he text me back about 4:30 asking how I was and if I needed the hospital. Told him there was nothing they could do. Said he'd be home just after 6.

Must have nodded off for 40 mins as I woke when he came in. Couldn't get back over. Pain was awful. I wriggled about for a bit and then went into the bathroom. Felt like trying for a poo would help (sounds daft now). Partner text me asking I was ok (honestly don't think he knew what to do). Was just finishing up and changing pad. Sat back down on toilet and something fell out. Fished it out and decided it was what I'd been waiting for (too much googling).

Got back into bed and said I'd passed the fetus and we had a cuddle and tears (me although he was upset and keeps saying he doesnt understand how it's happened)
I took a couple of cocodamol for the pain and drifted off at about 7:30.

My boobs are really sore today. I'm still bleeding. Very emotional. I think it's a combination of being tired and it falling out of me (sorry tmi).

Merry bloody Christmas.

Life is sent to try us.

OP posts:
Original poster
ttcttc · 26/12/2022 20:28

89met · 26/12/2022 20:25

I had a medical miscarriage with the hospital at 12 weeks 2 days on 23rd Dec 22, went for follow up scan and said sac growing but no life growing. Doctors said best to use medical help. Devastated. Spent Xmas eve; Xmas day , Boxing Day hovering around the house. Shocking pain on and off . It’s all over unfortunately. I thought all was going well at 12 weeks , unplanned pregnancy and unplanned outcome , have 3 lovely girls to keep me going.

Bless you. Never a good time I suppose. Hope you all had a lovely Christmas x

OP posts:
Clammyclam · 26/12/2022 20:31

I am so very sorry
It's not TMI- if speaking openly helps please do that.

Many of us have been through early pregnancy and many have experienced loss and you are amongst friends.

I am so very sorry- this sounds so harrowing to experience and you have my sympathies.
Please be gentle with yourself, whilst others might minimise-
Only you know how you feel
All of your feelings are valid, take care x

Original poster
ttcttc · 26/12/2022 20:33

Clammyclam · 26/12/2022 20:31

I am so very sorry
It's not TMI- if speaking openly helps please do that.

Many of us have been through early pregnancy and many have experienced loss and you are amongst friends.

I am so very sorry- this sounds so harrowing to experience and you have my sympathies.
Please be gentle with yourself, whilst others might minimise-
Only you know how you feel
All of your feelings are valid, take care x

Thank you.

I suppose I don't know how I feel as stupid as that sounds. It wasn't planned as such but didn't expect that to happen or have to go through so much pain

OP posts:
DottyLittleRainbow · 26/12/2022 20:34

Solidarity, OP. Had my 3rd miscarriage in October and it’s just shit. Plenty of pain relief as needed, and rest. Make sure you seek medical advice if you have any concerns about your bleeding/pain or feel unwell. Sending love.

EarringsandLipstick · 26/12/2022 20:35

I'm very sorry OP 💐

I had a MMC at nearly 15 weeks, my first pregnancy.

I think the time of year absolutely exacerbates it - all that focus on joy, families and so on. I'm very sorry.

I hope you can feel physically a little better soon.

Original poster
ttcttc · 26/12/2022 20:36

DottyLittleRainbow · 26/12/2022 20:34

Solidarity, OP. Had my 3rd miscarriage in October and it’s just shit. Plenty of pain relief as needed, and rest. Make sure you seek medical advice if you have any concerns about your bleeding/pain or feel unwell. Sending love.

Thank you.

I feel better just for sharing. Don't want to burden my friends at this time of year and I don't really want to share it with them anyways.

I'm tucked up in bed now taking it easy x

OP posts:
Original poster
ttcttc · 26/12/2022 20:37

EarringsandLipstick · 26/12/2022 20:35

I'm very sorry OP 💐

I had a MMC at nearly 15 weeks, my first pregnancy.

I think the time of year absolutely exacerbates it - all that focus on joy, families and so on. I'm very sorry.

I hope you can feel physically a little better soon.

Yes you're right. Was gone 9 when I got in Christmas Eve. Poorly yesterday. Upset today. I don't begrudge anyone a happy Christmas though, it's nice to see.

15 week must've been awful. I can't imagine how much worse that would have been ❤️

OP posts:
Justhereforaibu1 · 26/12/2022 20:42

Just want to say how sorry I am. Been there, not at Christmas but still crap. Look after yourselves. The pain shouldn't be so bad now it's passed.

Original poster
ttcttc · 26/12/2022 20:43

Justhereforaibu1 · 26/12/2022 20:42

Just want to say how sorry I am. Been there, not at Christmas but still crap. Look after yourselves. The pain shouldn't be so bad now it's passed.

Thank you.

It's maybe a blessing in disguise being off work

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 26/12/2022 20:48

@ttcttc

I was really sad of course, and unfortunately physically, I became very unwell (was waiting for medical management but started to miscarry & haemorrhaged + collapsed so needed surgery). I was also shocked at the 'contraction-like' pain.

This may not be how you are feeling of course, but I do remember being very comforted that I had got pregnant & feeling that I would hopefully be able to get pregnant again soon. (Which was the case)

I dealt with various medical staff - some were great, some were terrible. One doctor who operated me said quickly but very comfortingly to me 'see you next time on the labour wars'. I really appreciated it.

Please take care of yourself, and anything small that helps you feel better, try and do that. 🌺

EarringsandLipstick · 26/12/2022 20:49
  • ward!
Original poster
ttcttc · 26/12/2022 20:52

EarringsandLipstick · 26/12/2022 20:48

@ttcttc

I was really sad of course, and unfortunately physically, I became very unwell (was waiting for medical management but started to miscarry & haemorrhaged + collapsed so needed surgery). I was also shocked at the 'contraction-like' pain.

This may not be how you are feeling of course, but I do remember being very comforted that I had got pregnant & feeling that I would hopefully be able to get pregnant again soon. (Which was the case)

I dealt with various medical staff - some were great, some were terrible. One doctor who operated me said quickly but very comfortingly to me 'see you next time on the labour wars'. I really appreciated it.

Please take care of yourself, and anything small that helps you feel better, try and do that. 🌺

Thank you for sharing.

That was nice of the surgeon.

The contractions were somewhat traumatising - totally caught be off guard. Followed by what passed.

OP posts:
Hatemymiddlename · 26/12/2022 20:58

So sorry OP. My heart goes out to you.
I had a miscarriage, 13 years ago. We lost our baby boy in the February of 2010 but found out I was pregnant. It was a shock at the time after everything we went through but I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks so was absolutely broken. I went on to have another baby in August 2011.
Thinking of you OP💐

Sailawaygirl · 26/12/2022 20:59

Solidarity and sending love here. I had a miscarriage in October this year. Medical manged also had thatbweird feeling of contractions and passing stuff. I found reading people's stories of MC really helped me to make sense of what had happened. Have a look on miscarriage association website. They have a nice leaflet for partners too. Take care of your self and have at least 2 weeks of work

BCxx · 26/12/2022 21:01

So sorry you’re going through this, what an extra crappy time to experience it too 😔 I’m 6 weeks today and someone on the due august thread had this happen yesterday too 😢 I understand in theory why miscarriages happen but it just seems so so cruel when you get all your hopes wrapped up in this little light inside you, just for it to go out ☹️ Thinking of you, hope you will have some good things coming your way in 2023 to look forward to x

Original poster
ttcttc · 26/12/2022 21:03

Hatemymiddlename · 26/12/2022 20:58

So sorry OP. My heart goes out to you.
I had a miscarriage, 13 years ago. We lost our baby boy in the February of 2010 but found out I was pregnant. It was a shock at the time after everything we went through but I had a miscarriage at 8 weeks so was absolutely broken. I went on to have another baby in August 2011.
Thinking of you OP💐

You've had your share of hard times. Glad your baby was healthy x

OP posts:
Original poster
ttcttc · 26/12/2022 21:04

Sailawaygirl · 26/12/2022 20:59

Solidarity and sending love here. I had a miscarriage in October this year. Medical manged also had thatbweird feeling of contractions and passing stuff. I found reading people's stories of MC really helped me to make sense of what had happened. Have a look on miscarriage association website. They have a nice leaflet for partners too. Take care of your self and have at least 2 weeks of work

Yeah the contractions and pushing was a total shock.
Will Have a look at that website. Thank you x

OP posts:
Original poster
ttcttc · 26/12/2022 21:06

BCxx · 26/12/2022 21:01

So sorry you’re going through this, what an extra crappy time to experience it too 😔 I’m 6 weeks today and someone on the due august thread had this happen yesterday too 😢 I understand in theory why miscarriages happen but it just seems so so cruel when you get all your hopes wrapped up in this little light inside you, just for it to go out ☹️ Thinking of you, hope you will have some good things coming your way in 2023 to look forward to x

What will be, will always be.

I can accept that. The process is very traumatising though. I have seen lots of things on the internet and know people have it worse so in some ways I'm lucky.

Thank you for your reply x

OP posts:
Findyourneutralspace · 26/12/2022 21:13

So sorry OP, and as others have said it’s awful timing. I had a mc at 6 weeks many years ago and remember the feeling you describe. You might have a bit of shock mixed in with your grief.

I’ve very much come to terms with it, and have a lovely son who came along soon after, but I remember the aching, empty feeling.
Take care and look after each other 💐

Original poster
ttcttc · 26/12/2022 21:17

Findyourneutralspace · 26/12/2022 21:13

So sorry OP, and as others have said it’s awful timing. I had a mc at 6 weeks many years ago and remember the feeling you describe. You might have a bit of shock mixed in with your grief.

I’ve very much come to terms with it, and have a lovely son who came along soon after, but I remember the aching, empty feeling.
Take care and look after each other 💐

The timing is crap but we have a couple of little ones in the family so was nice to see them enjoying Christmas. It's what it's all about.

Thank you for your response x

OP posts:
Shouldhavebutdidnt · 26/12/2022 21:19

Can I offer one piece of advice? I’m sorry if this is blunt but having experienced >10 miscarriages over a decade

Don’t do what I did and bury your head in the sand that ‘it will all work out’. Have both you and your partner fully medically checked out.

I didn’t do this, I went through a decade of miscarriages without any medical investigation. In my early 40s we had accepted it wouldn’t happen & planned our ‘childless lives’ and I had a lot of bereavement counseling.

I had a daughter (absolutely problem free pregnancy and labour) in my mid 40s and the only difference was taking aspirin as directed by a gynecologist after a hemorrhaging experience in a throw away comment from them

Whilst I am delighted to have a DC I deeply morn the ones who didn’t make it and the family I don’t have with my single child.

To answer your question they were very sympathetic and pleased that we were trying as we kept it quiet. But my wonderful MinL never got to meet her GC as she died before they were born. It is a deep regret of mine.

Sending love x

Original poster
ttcttc · 26/12/2022 21:23

Shouldhavebutdidnt · 26/12/2022 21:19

Can I offer one piece of advice? I’m sorry if this is blunt but having experienced >10 miscarriages over a decade

Don’t do what I did and bury your head in the sand that ‘it will all work out’. Have both you and your partner fully medically checked out.

I didn’t do this, I went through a decade of miscarriages without any medical investigation. In my early 40s we had accepted it wouldn’t happen & planned our ‘childless lives’ and I had a lot of bereavement counseling.

I had a daughter (absolutely problem free pregnancy and labour) in my mid 40s and the only difference was taking aspirin as directed by a gynecologist after a hemorrhaging experience in a throw away comment from them

Whilst I am delighted to have a DC I deeply morn the ones who didn’t make it and the family I don’t have with my single child.

To answer your question they were very sympathetic and pleased that we were trying as we kept it quiet. But my wonderful MinL never got to meet her GC as she died before they were born. It is a deep regret of mine.

Sending love x

Thank you. Will give it all some thought when I feel up to it properly.

Glad you got your dc but so sad about you minl x

OP posts:
Emmamoo89 · 26/12/2022 21:27

So sorry for your loss. Had my third miscarriage last month. So know how you feel. Doesn't get easier. Sending lots of love ❤️

Original poster
ttcttc · 26/12/2022 21:30

Emmamoo89 · 26/12/2022 21:27

So sorry for your loss. Had my third miscarriage last month. So know how you feel. Doesn't get easier. Sending lots of love ❤️

Bless you ❤️
Take care x

OP posts:
RosaCaramella · 26/12/2022 21:54

So sorry this happened to you. The trauma of miscarriage often goes undiscussed and you’re expected just to get on with it. The worst pain I ever felt was losing a baby at 13 weeks at home. I knew I was miscarrying and opted to be at home but wasn’t remotely prepared for the pain. On my hands and knees in agony, I realised the true meaning of climbing the walls in pain.
I hope time is a healer for you though you won’t ever forget your little one. ❤️✨xx