Miscarriage at 42 - swimming in statistics

[Maizie83]

Hey all, I read somewhere here that there's an area for women in their early 40s who are TTC, but can't seem to find it.

I am 42 and recently suffered a miscarriage at about 7 weeks (after seeing a heartbeat at 6). I thought our scan was booked for 8 weeks, but they dated it 2 weeks earlier after seeing the embryo. I wouldn't have gone for a scan that early if I'd known, but the dating made me think something might be up (I also had very few symptoms).

I had a DD (now 3) at 39 and the pregnancy/ conception was totally straightforward with her. We got pregnant straight away with this last one. I had very heavy bleeding about a week ago and the EPU confirmed miscarriage.

We intend to try again ASAP, and although I knew there were loads of risks at my age, I was so optimistic it would all be fine, especially after seeing a heartbeat. I hadn't done any excessive Googling, and now I have - just seeing I had a 40% chance of miscarrying ... so now I fear a long line of miscarriages ahead. :( Any success stories out there? Want to be realistic, but not negative. Was I mad to even try?

There are a lot of success stories, and the fact that you conceived quickly is good. You just have to be prepared to have miscarriages be part of the journey in your 40s, tbh. If you are able to conceive, and the miscarriages are only age related, odds are that an embryo will stick.

If what I've read is correct miscarriages in your 40's are usually due to chromosome abnormalities due to age/you're more likely to have imperfect eggs (for want of a better phrase) hence the stats. I had DC1 just before I turned 40, tried for DC2 for several years. Got a fertility check up, was told that I had a 1 - 2 % chance of conceiving (usually 5% at my age, so I had lower than average odds) plus 40 - 50 % chance of miscarriage. I fell pregnant at 44 naturally and delivered a healthy baby earlier this year after turning 45. You're not mad to try, but it might be a harder road than if you were 5 - 10 years younger. Don't count yourself out and good luck xx

Thank you @thejadefish and @astronewt for your replies, this is really sound and heartening advice, and it's lifted my spirits considerably! Maybe I won't tell nearly as many people if I do get pregnant again! 😋

@Maizie83 the stats were so grim that I didn't tell anyone (besides DH) until after the 12 week scan and NIPT results. I thought that if I managed to get past 12 weeks maybe my odds were as good as anyone else's if most losses occur in the first trimester. It was hard not to say anything though as I was so excited. Fingers crossed for you!

I had my last baby at 43 and it was fine and uneventful. According to stats and previous miscarriage history I had a less than 15% chance of having a successful pregnancy, yet I did. He's now an amazingly (frustrating) 7 year old. You can but try. Stop looking at stats. That way madness lies.

The book 'it starts with the egg' is very good. It pitches towards infertility, but also the supplements for IVF or PCOS for me, etc are relevant for egg quality. Egg quality is important for a woman in her 40s, based on the risks of abnormalities. I liked the book 'not broken' and 'yes you can get pregnant' as well though one of those was much from a more eastern-based medical approach. I got them as audiobooks and got a paper copy of the first book to refer to.

The miscarriage risk is higher when you are older, but I think also compounded if you already have recurrent miscarriages or fertility/ovulation issues. I have quite a high miscarriage risk, but based on previous losses. With our 11-year-old / second daughter I went through 3 losses first and I look on those as being part of the journey that resulted in having her.

I'm 44 and did day 2 blood tests to check my FSH, LH, AMH - advanced female hormone tests, etc with medichecks. I found that reassuring as they were very good for my age and it informed my decisions and supplements / lifestyle changes. Statistics generalise based on age and that assumes that your hormonal fertility, etc correlates to your age.

You're not mad to try at all. I had a mmc at 40, then fell pregnant 2 months later with DD1. I then had an anembryonic pregnancy aged 43, which was just awful and almost put me off trying again
My personal cut off age for having another child was 45, and we nearly didn't try again, but I knew our family wasn't complete yet. It took a year to get pregnant again, and I had DD2 at the beginning of the first lockdown, (aged 44 and 10 months!) after a text book pregnancy and she is the light of all of our lives.
It was a lot of heartache getting here, but totally worth it. Fingers crossed it all works out for you too