In desperate need of advice/reassurance

[KateC1x1]

Hi, I'm 7 weeks (ish) pregnant and I went to the hospital and got a scan confirming really high hcg (49,950) and no fetal pole. They haven't confirmed yet as need to wait 10 days for another scan but it's likely a missed miscarriage. I'm 100% sure and a lovely nurse who went through similar said to me under the radar to prepare myself as drs don't confirm until sack is 25mm but to not see any heartbeat at 16mm sack size is virtually impossible. I appreciated her honesty so I can prepare.
My symptoms have gone and I'm spotting brown stringy stuff.
My question is mainly how do I go about the next few days? I'm terrefied of the bleeding and passing tissue and the pain as I have no idea what to expect. I've read loads of horror stories and I'm literally on the brink of a panic attack. I don't mean to sound insensitive or anything as I know how horrendous miscarriage is but is it really as bad physically as the stories out there.

Please if anyone can give me any words of reassurance or any advice, I'd really appreciate it. Thank you xx

Hi @KateC1x1

I had a missed miscarriage, I did bleed but it was like a heavy period. I didn't have any pain though, it was all very surreal. Try and take some time for yourself xx

You'll be ok, don't panic about the pain. I had a miscarriage around this time and nothing in the scan either and it was like a period, actually not even as heavy as my normal period. Then had another bleed 2/3 weeks later Have the hot water bottle, paracetamol and ibuprofen to hand. You can take both paracetamol and ibuprofen together and cycle them. So sorry you are going through this xx

Thank you both. I'm so sorry you've had to go through this. I've always been the one to sympathise but not empathise.

I feel like such a bad mum and wife as I'm sat upstairs in a state while my husband runs round after our 1 year old.
It's such a shock and it's knocked me so bad and the fact I have to "wait" for a miscarriage is killing me with anxiety.
I wish they would just give me a d&c as I'm so scared for my husband to leave incase I'm alone with my daughter when it happens and I can't leave the house.
I feel so trapped in the situation and it's not fair at all

So sorry you are going through this. Found out at 7 weeks that the pregnancy had not progressed from the sac stage and for the last week I have been bleeding on and off. Pain hasn't been bad. Just been like a heavy period at times. Just get some pain killers in hot water bottle etc.

Also having to wait to have it confirmed which is horrible - have a scan on Friday which will be just over two weeks since last appointment. Sending love ❤️

If it is a MMC they will offer you expectant management (where you wait for nature to take its course), medical management (where you take pills a few days apart to drop your hormones so that you miscarry) or surgical management. With medical management if it isn't successful you can move on to surgical management.

I took a pill on a Friday and was to go into the gynae on the Sunday morning for the second dose, but I miscarried at home very early Sunday morning. The MMC itself wasn't particularly painful (more tender/inflamed) and I had some really minor contractions that were like gentle spasms. I had a pad on and that filled with light red watery fluid from the sac, then when I stood up literally everything fell out. I only had light bleeding after that. I took the tissue with me to the hospital. The gynae doctors did an internal scan to make sure everything had passed and I had a private room as an inpatient until I was discharged mid-afternoon. That was where the pregnancy had stopped at just under 7 weeks, but the placenta kept developing. They did give me stronger painkillers and I'd taken some ibuprofen already that morning. It was pretty straightforward for me physically, other than the emotional side of things and the stress of it.

I preferred medical management as for me there was closure to go through it that way and I was concerned about surgical management affecting my lining.

My hcg only got up to 15000. Had already dropped to just under 8000 by the time I had a scan at 9 weeks and then took a further 10 days until I was getting negative hcg tests on a sensitive easy@home cheap test. My next cycle I ovulated around my usual time. Cycle after and I am very early pregnant again.

A MMC knocks you sideways as I felt everything was going ok, until it really wasn't. Take care and be kind to yourself. The whole next cycle I was really not feeling great, I took about a week and a half off work from when I found out the pregnancy hadn't progressed and I was still really upset and grieved for about a month or so. I've had other earlier losses at 5-6 weeks where I knew the hcg wasn't great and I always felt like I needed to get through the loss, but also that I needed to get through the next cycle after.

Op you are very very early.

the difficulties in miscarrying tend to occur later down the line

rest up. Pain relief to hand

Thank you everyone for your replies, advice and kindness

It means a lot you are willing to share such painful experiences to help others like me.

I wish you all the best xx

How are you doing @KateC1x1 ❤️

Hey tulipsunday,

Everything seems to have stopped like spotting/pain. Going back to hospital on 19th (they wont see me in EPU before then) then hopefully getting medical management. I just want it over with now.

Thank you for asking xx

Glad the pain has stopped @KateC1x1 hope the hospital appointment goes well on the 19th. Can really relate to just wanting it to be over. Things definitely felt easier after the physical part of my first MMC was over. All the best x