Will I have another miscarriage?

[Isabellamt]

obviously all doctors I’ve seen/spoken to have told me that having one miscarriage doesn’t mean you’ll have another, and it’s not that I don’t believe them, I’d just rather hear about real people’s experiences.

I had a miscarriage last week, I am 29 and this was my first ever pregnancy. I was around 8-9 weeks when I found out I’d miscarried, but it’s likely the baby (or babies as they assumed it may have been twins) died a few weeks prior. The blood loss was severe and I ended up having to go into hospital, but I am recovering okay now.

I’m really in two minds about trying to get pregnant again. Obviously I still want to have children, but the whole experience of the miscarriage was pretty traumatic and the toll it’s taken on me mentally and physically is too much, I don’t think I could go through that again. My partner says that if it was his choice we would try again, but will support my decision either way.

If you are willing please share your experiences and any advice you can which may help me to make this decision. Thank you so much ❤️

I think you still need to give yourself time. For me, I always found it easier to get back on track and track my next couple of cycles, but I was still processing my grief from a MMC for about a month or so afterwards in Sept/Oct.

With my second daughter I went through 3 very early losses first and I still feel that it just happened that I had to go through that to have her, so without question I would go through it again. I accept that early losses are part of it for me and that doesn't negate how awful it is to go through.

A MMC is a horrendous experience and with twins I think it would be very difficult. I always found that having the next natural period gave me some sense of closure. I try to be optimistic that next time it will happen and be different, but it is really hard to be optimistic or positive straight afterwards.

@somethingluscious Thank you for your kind message. You’re right I know I need to give myself the time to heal. The fact that you have suffered miscarriages but also have children gives me hope. I pray one day I will have my own children, it just feels so out of reach right now. Thank you so much for sharing your experience ❤️

@Isabellamt I would echo just give yourself time. Wait for your first period to come after miscarriage and see how you feel. Don't feel pressure to decide now. One miscarriage certainly doesn't mean you won't be able to have a healthy pregnancy. They are so common - 1 in 4 pregnancies ends I miscarriage but they just aren't spoken about enough. I have experienced two miscarriages but also have a son and that pregnancy went smoothly. All the best x

@tulipsunday Thank you for your kind comment. You’re right I know I need to give myself time, I just feel so sad and empty right now. It’s so nice to hear that you have a son, can I ask you, did you have two miscarriages in a row before your successful pregnancy? Please don’t feel like you have to answer if you don’t want to, I’m just trying to get an idea of how likely a second miscarriage in a row is for me. Thank you ❤️

I had a miscarriage at the same age and similar situation, got pregnant a month later and have a healthy toddler. I was keen to make up for lost time! I'm now pregnant again (second trimester). One miscarriage is often a blip, but sadly you won't know until you try again. I'm sorry for your loss and hope you recover quickly.

Hi op sorry got your loss, a loss at any point of pregnancy is devastating!

I was you 3 years ago, traumatic miscarriage at 9 weeks, heavy blood loss, weeks off work and depression/grief for a while. It took me 9 months to get pregnant with that baby.

I got pregnant 3m later and now have a 2 and a half year old, and a second baby who’s a few months old (who I got pregnant with 2 weeks after deciding to try again).

im sure you know, but 1 in 4 women have to go through the tragedy of miscarriage, lots of women don’t know/talk about it. Don’t read too much on here about fertility issues, I got obsessed with it and because I was on a parenting forum there’s a higher proportion of women struggling to conceive than in the general population. I feel for all those women, I really do, can’t imagine how they feel.

but the chances are, this was just a blip one off thing and you’ll get your rainbow baby soon.

try and keep positive, look to the future and relax! Best of luck x

@Shrewsdoodle messages like yours make me feel a lot better, thank you for sharing your experience. So happy to hear you have a little one now, I hope the same thing will happen to me when I am ready to try again ❤️

@Catsonskis Thank you so much, messages like yours make me feel a lot better. It’s comforting to know that people have experienced a similar situation and have gone on to have successful pregnancies.

My issue does not seem to be with getting pregnant. My boyfriend and I were trying for only 3 weeks before I fell pregnant, so hopefully when my body is back to normal and we start trying again that will happen again as my doctor said that having a miscarriage doesn’t affect your fertility.

Thank you again for your kindness, I hope that like you I will someday have my own children ❤️

I am so sorry this happened to you. As PP said this is incredibly common. In my family alone my Grandmother, Mum, one of my sisters, sisters in law and two of my nieces all had miscarriages. They all went on to have other children.

I had 3 MMC but I was older and had “sticky blood” which was treated with low dose aspirin. However, for the vast majority of women a miscarriage is just a very sad but unexplained and one off experience.

It’s v early days for you and, as others have said, give yourself some time. I really wanted a child but completely relate to your worry about getting pregnant again; for me it was also a traumatic experience and left me grief stricken and anxious.

All of this said, I have DD (now 11) and oh my goodness she’s worth all of it. I look back on my 3 MMC and now think DD was the one I was always meant to have.

Good luck whatever you decide OP. I’m so sorry this happened. Don’t be afraid to take as much time as you need or to seek out support. Sending you good wishes, hugs and 💐.

@Isabellamt the Tommy's website has a 'Miscarriage support tool' which might be helpful if you want to find out the likelihood of having another. All the best

Agree with all of the previous messages, give yourself time OP ❤️ Straight after my miscarriage, I could not fathom the prospect of trying again. I have always wanted children, but at that moment in time I fully believed that I would never have any and I said as much to my partner, who wisely suggested we circle back later! 3 months on and we're trying again; I still feel sad and nothing erases those feelings, but they become more manageable. If you've decided that you want to have children then you will do one way or another, when you're ready.

@Picoloangel thank you for your kind message. I hope like you and your family members I will get through this and one day have a child. I used to be able to picture myself as a mum but I just can’t anymore. I hope I can feel positive again soon.

@Rabbitjungle1 Thank you for your kind message. Good luck, I hope everything goes well for you this time around. I hope I can feel optimistic for the future again soon, right now everything is just painful. Lots of love ❤️