Sorry, its a long one, please read.
Recently discovered that baby stopped developing a few weeks ago, but my body hasn't yet miscarried. Have an appointment tomorrow to go in for medical management. I have experienced miscarriage before many years ago when I was only 19, I ended up with an infection due to it being incomplete and spent overnight in hospital on morphine it was that bad. The next day was given medical management and sent home to complete the process. I have been talking to my partner about how its all came flooding back and I remember the medical management being painful but not as bad as time spent in hospital, but I am worried and would rather this happened naturally, too scared to wait though incase infection sets in like last time. An argument broke out due to him telling me that he has experienced this and she (his ex) just took the pills came home, went to bed and was fine the next day. Confused i asked, so when did the miscarriage take place, as she would need to pass the pregnancy? He is getting nippy at this point and said she had a period and that was it and his cousin who is a nurse passed twins and that was just a heavy period so its not bad. He knows lots of people who have had miscarriages, his mum had several, its common, its just a heavy period. Ofcourse I get angry and tell him no two woman are the same and that I too have personal experience and it was very traumatic. Not to mention the emotional side of having to walk around knowing that my baby has died and still feeling pregnant. We are currently not talking and the way im feeling, I dont want him to be with me when I go through it. He is comparing my situation to one of his ex's experiences of an early termination! I also remember now that he used to correct me when I spoke to people about the birth of our son, who I had an emergency csection with due to him being distressed, turns out the cord was wrapped round him. When I was in theatre they were able to take their time doing the operation as my sons heart rate had calmed down, when I told people the story and how I ended up needing an emergency c section he would say "wasn't an emergency, not as if they had to quicky cut you open and pull him out, he was calm in the end so it was just a section" I would feel really embarrassed and he would tell me to stop making it out to be worse than it was. That experience of my baby in distress and my being rushed to theatre was bloody traumatic aswel! It was terrifying! And im never aloud to say that, im not aloud to talk about my fear of medical management and having to go through passing my baby either. I want to tell him to f* off! Am I being dramatic?? He makes me feel really bad for worrying or finding things difficult. Its so bloody lonely!