Hi everyone,
I'm not 100% sure why I'm writing this. If it helps someone else going through similar then that's reassuring :)
I found out I was pregnant on the 14th August. This would've been my second child, my first was born in 2020 after a textbook pregnancy.
Now I wasn't clear on dates as I'd been trying different contraceptive pills. Needed to go back to the doctors for BMI check/ BP etc but didn't get round to it!
Did a Clear Blue weeks indicator test which read 3+ weeks so I was at least 5 weeks pregnant.
Tues 6th of September I wiped after going for a wee and saw some light pink discharge on the tissue. I wasn't too concerned as I knew you could have some blood in the early days.
Nothing then for a few days, Saturday 10th September I wiped and there was a small amount of blood again. Over the weekend the bleeding got slightly worse. Called the midwife on Monday and got a scan booked in EPU on the Tuesday.
I thought I'd be around 9 weeks give or take at the time. Had an internal scan, there was a pregnancy sac and yolk sac measuring 5-6 weeks but no embryo. As I wasn't clear on dates they wanted me back in 10 days but I knew deep down that it wasn't to be.
Over the next 10 days the bleeding got progressively worse, like a heavy period with some clots. Biggest was maybe 50p sized.
23rd September I had my 2nd scan, the sac had grown slightly but still no embryo which they would've expected to see. Unfortunately they couldn't offer to 'move things along' at that stage as the sac was under 25mm (mine was 23.5mm.)
They booked another scan for 10 days time. The wait was agonising, knowing that you have miscarried but nothing is happening & the hospital aren't allowed to intervene yet :(
Bleeding seemed to ease for the next few days, however on the 29th September I had a MASSIVE gush of blood as I stood up from the sofa. It soaked straight through a pad, my knickers, my leggings & dripped all over the carpet. Ran to the loo and passed a lot more blood and clots. There was no pain and I couldn't see anything that resembled a sac so I accepted that it probably wasn't over yet.
3rd of October, time for the third scan. The pregnancy sac had grown ever so slightly but the yolk sac had gone (probably reabsorbed into my body)
It was then 100% confirmed that this was not a viable pregnancy. I opted for the surgical treatment. I'd been bleeding for a month by this point and known for 3 weeks that I wasn't going to have a baby in April :( I just wanted it over with. Filled in all the Pre-Op paperwork in EPAU. I had BP and oxygen levels taken, height & weight and bloods taken. I did also have to have an ECG due to a small heart murmur.
Surgery was booked for Wednesday 5th October.
Surgery was very straightforward. I had a bit of bleeding afterwards but no pain or soreness surprisingly.
The mental side of it was the worst. I felt like a fraud, I told myself I wasnt allowed to be sad because it was never a 'baby' just a sac and yolk sac. It was a very lonely time and to this day I've only told a few people what happened. 💔 apologies for the essay, I just needed to get it off my chest.