Medically managed or surgery following missed miscarriage

[Leither1982]

Hi there
I’ve just found out from an early scan that my current pregnancy isn’t going to continue-baby has no heartbeat and stopped at 9.5 weeks. I now have to decide whether to medically manage this in hospital or have surgery.
I’ve had 2 miscarriages before this, one at 8 weeks that happened naturally and I could cope with at home and another which was anembryonic and was due to be medically managed but progressed naturally and was very painful and ended up with me going into hospital due to the pain.
So I’m nervous due to my previous experience but also very nervous about the prospect of surgery. I’m anxious about the risks (despite being v low) but have also had a bad reaction to gen anaesthetic before so not keen (and they only offer it under general anaesthetic where I am).
I was more on the side of having medical management but have been warned it could be very painful and because of the stage I’m at I could experience contractions and a lot of blood. I had that experience with my anembryonic miscarriage and it was really hard. This would be different I guess because it would be managed and I’d be in hospital.

For both options however I may have to wait till the end of this week-5 days for the surgery and 6 days for the medically managed option due to hospital capacity. So anything could happen in the meantime.

Would anyone be able to share their experiences with me of either types of miscarriage management, particularly at a similar stage of pregnancy? to help me to make my decision as I’m going round in circles just now.

Thanks a lot

So sorry you've had a miscarriage again. I feel for you because I've also suffered from recurrent miscarriages.
I've had natural ones, medical managed and once I had surgery. The choices are all not ideal let's face it. I'd be inclined to talk to your doctor and ask which way has the least issues.
Also ask if your hospital has a recurrent miscarriage specialist, my hospital did, and she was great and had me on all sorts of medications which helped I'm sure.
Good luck with whatever you choose. I also always spent my time after a miscarriage just enjoying things like wine and cheeses I love, just because I knew soon I wouldn't be able to have them, so be kind to yourself and have some 'me comforting time'

I had surgery with a fetus that grew to 10+5. It was almost entirely painless afterwards and I felt very well looked after. The gen anaesthesia was fine but I had previous experience of gen anaesthetic being okay. For me it was the right choice between not experiencing contractions and not having to see the baby

My daughter had a failed pregnancy a few weeks ago and opted for tablets to expel the fetus, however about half was left behind so she then had to have a medical D&C, if they still call it that.

I'm so sorry it didn't work out for you this time 😔

I'm sorry you are going through this and also that you will have it hanging over you for a week. I had surgery after an MMC - I just wanted the pg gone, but they kept me in after the 12 week scan It was that or wait for nature in those days.

Just as a bit of reassurance I lost pgs before DS and before DD at various stages. DS and DD are grown up now.

Hope you get through the week OK and very best wishes for the future

Thanks so much. I’ll have a chat with them about the options again. They’re supportive of whatever works for me but I got the sense that they were more on the side of the surgery for me as they thought it may be a bit easier on me physically. All really helpful thoughts though, thank you. And yes-think I’ve gone off wine and cheese a bit but I’ll find something similar!

Yes I had those kind of contractions before and it was really hard going and traumatic to be honest. For me but also my husband. I’ll have a think and maybe ask about the different kinds of anaesthetic in case that helps

I've had two MMC. Both times I had surgery. The second time I tried to wait for nature but 3 weeks after I had a bleed I went in for a scan and there was still lots of tissue so opted for surgery again

Sorry sent too quick 🤦🏼‍♀️ honestly the surgery was so simple and recovery very quick I wish I had opted for the second surgery sooner I actually ended up getting surgery 8 weeks after I found out about the MMC it's dragged on

So sorry to hear what ur going through. I’ve never had a reaction to gen anaesthetic so hard
to say. My first miscarriage I started bleeding heavily so surgery was the only option. I’ve had two more recently, the first was a missed miscarriage and while waiting for a date for surgical management I started bleeding heavily so it a trip to the a&e and then the surgery. A few months after that I had another miscarriage. It was really hard as I knew it wouldn’t progress but had to wait for the hearbeat to stop.
Most of it passed itself but there was a bit of tissue left and the hospital wanted to wait and see. In my mind I wanted it all over with and not have to wait for weeks so luckily my insurance covered me for a private d&c. I went into hospital at 5 and by 11pm I was tucked up in my bed at home. Whatever u go with I wish you the best of luck and send u lots of hugs.

Thanks everyone. So appreciate your posts. I’ve decided to opt for the surgery. Best of a bad bunch of options but think it’s maybe the right thing for me now and the swiftest way to me to start to recover and heal. If anyone has any tips for recovery or next steps I’d welcome those too. Many thanks again

I'm so sorry you're going through this! I had my fourth miscarriage last month at 11 weeks (although I expect it stopped growing before that). It was natural as it started by itself but I had a scan last week which showed it was incomplete. I opted for surgical management to get rid of the rest as I thought it would be better emotionally to just get it over with rather than waiting for the rest to come away by itself.

The surgical management was actually fine and over so quickly, I was in and out of hospital within 6 hours and was pain free. If I'm ever in this position again I would have the surgical management to get it over with and know that everything was gone rather than being 4 weeks on and still going through the ordeal.

@Leither1982 my experience is mental takes longer to recover than physical. You'll have a hormone crash a couple of weeks after the surgery which was pretty hard. I also overdid it physically about 7 days after surgery and had a strong bleed just that one day so be gentle with yourself in all senses of the word

Thanks @Griffles and @IWillBeWaxingAnOwl . Very sensible and helpful thoughts. I had unmanaged miscarriages the last time, one of which was ok and at home and the other really rough and ended up in A&E. I recall the physical recovery being easier to get to grips with but the emotional much tougher and though I only took a few days off on each occasion previously I don’t think many more days would have helped me directly afterwards. I remember thinking I needed the time off a few weeks afterwards. But it’s very hard to judge isn’t it? I’ll be having the surgery tomorrow (Wed) and then will have Thurs and Friday off and then aim to return to work next Tues (I don’t work Mondays) if I feel up to it. Though I can work from home quite a bit in the first week which I think will help. I’m thinking I might look into counselling for my partner and I this time round as we didn’t always cope well afterwards on the other occasions.

thanks @Griffles and sorry for your loss too. It’s so hard and even if you have support it’s hard not to feel very alone with it at time. So sharing this here and hearing your experience is sad but less lonely if that makes any sense