2 miscarriages - stories of hope please

[Laro2323]

Hi

I've just had my 2nd miscarriage this year and obviously feeling broken. We're trying for our first, I'm 33. I had a chemical pregnancy in May (4w5d), fell pregnant again in August, got to 8w with a good scan, heartbeat etc then bled at 10w, confirmed miscarriage at 8w.

1 I found hard, but could rationalise and now it's 2 I'm just panicking that there's something wrong and I'll never be able to have our own children. GP/NHS aren't remotely bothered and are firmly sticking to 3 MC rule.

Any stories of hope or advice on keeping the faith alive would be greatly received.

Thanks so much

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I can offer a small ray of provisional hope.

I had a very similar experience. Chemical at 4+5 in November '21, then MMC at 8+5 in May, embryo stopped growing a few days before the scan. Got pregnant again in August. Stressful first semester with anxiety, extreme pessimism and some sudden bleeding at 6w that had me counting myself out, but three scans (6w, 8w and 12w) later, the little blob is measuring ahead of dates and passing their tests so far. I'm now 15 weeks. Obviously not out of the woods by any stretch and I don't know when I'll actually release the breath I feel like I've been holding since the first positive test 11 weeks ago. Just trying to take it day by day.

It's very tough how unbothered medical staff are about 2 miscarriages. What I told myself was that,
(1) medical staff being unbothered can be interpreted as them seeing it a lot and knowing that it doesn't necessarily mean anything about the next pregnancy.
(2) you can conceive, which is the biggest hurdle for many people, and each time you conceive you are more likely than not to have a baby in nine months, even after multiple miscarriages.
(3) if you have another MC, then you will be referred for investigations, so at least that will mean progress towards an answer.

When I was early pregnant, whenever I told people, mostly doctors etc, I was like, "i've had two MCs already, so at least if this one doesn't stick it's off to the recurrent MC clinic...". I think people found that a bit dark, but it helped me to think of it as "progress either way" given how anxious I was about everything, and how sure I was that it was going to go wrong. Not sure if any of that resonates with you, but hopefully it helps a little bit.

Hi @Laro2323, I was in a similar position to you in January after two miscarriages. We chose to try again and experienced a third loss. We had debated going for private testing in between 2/3 but decided to wait for the NHS testing, I now wish we had gone for the private testing as it turns out I have a (very easily diagnosable) thyroid issue. Waiting on the tests takes ages, waiting on the results takes ages, now the treatment to get my thyroid under control is taking ages. The losses could have been preventable! The last loss happened in April and we are still not even able to try again yet due to time taken for tests etc on NHS. If I could go back I'd have done the tests privately and would advise you to consider it if you are in a position to do so! Whatever happens I hope things work out positively for you!

So sorry OP. It's so sad and you feel so helpless. I had 2 MC, one at 6 weeks and one at 11 weeks. I was desperate to know why. Consultant said I was fertile and to just try again as MC are very common. I then went on to have 2 successful pregnancies. Don't give up. I hope it works out for you soon. xx

Thank you for sharing your story. I was hoping to keep this thread just for stories of hope rather than more fear being add to the already horrible fear but I appreciate you sharing your experience. I can't afford to go privately but my GP is testing my thyroid, FBC and vitamin D levels. Thank you again and wishing you all the luck x

@BlueSuffragette thank you so much - keeping everything crossed that I have a similar outcome to yours. X

@Melusina123 thank you so much for sharing ❤️ it really is so helpful to hear these stories so full of hope. The anxiety is just unbearable - you've done so well to get through the first trimester and wishing you all the best for the rest of your pregnancy x

I’m so sorry to hear you are going through this. I had a number of miscarriages but I also had 3 successful pregnancies in amongst these. I had lots of tests and nothing conclusive identified. I was prescribed various meds which might or might not have helped. When I look back now I think my girls were meant for me, they just took their time to arrive. Miscarriages unfortunately are very common, you do have a very good chance of having a successful pregnancy the next time even though you may not feel that way at the moment. I wish you all the very best.

Sorry you’re going through this . I had a baby (totally straight forward easy pregnancy and delivery) I then had 12 miscarriages , ranging from 6wk to 16wk over about 6 years.
they became so normal for me I didn’t bother even going to hospital for some and just managed them at home.
I assumed that was it and accepted one and done .
With a brand new partner ( just a few months) totally by accident and surprise I found myself with my longed for son 15 years after his sister.
the flurry of MCs were all with the same partner whereas the two children I have biologically have different fathers to any other pregnancies . I decided that there must have been something in his genes that didn’t work with mine- of course we’ll never know .

I am so sorry you are going through this.

I had 6 Miscarriages and went on to have 3 healthy babies after those, I am the positive story. DC are now 12, 10 and 2.
Don't give up hope it will happen for you.

Sorry to hear this OP. I too had 2 miscarriages (no heartbeat at 12w scan) but then fell pregnant a few months later and now have a grumpy 12 year old 😁 It will happen for you too xx