Driving myself mad!

[BlahBlah36]

I had a private scan at 8+4. There was no heartbeat, baby measured 7+6 (14mm) and no blood flow going to the fetal pole. On the report the sonographer has written irregular yolk sac and fetus.

I know that there’s no hope and the baby has passed. I have an appointment tomorrow at EPU for an NHS scan and I’m assuming to discuss treatment options.

However, a few people have said things like “wait and see what they say”, “is it definite or are they waiting to see what this scan says?”.

I suppose I want to know if I’m in denial or they are?

To me, from everything I’ve read, this is a missed miscarriage. Any baby measuring over 7mm should show a heartbeat. There should be blood flowing to the baby. An irregular yolk sac on its own is an issue but combined with everything else… I know dates can be out even though I’m sure of my LMP date but with the other factors I do not see how the outcome will change.

I haven’t had any bleeding or cramping and nausea, boob tenderness are in full swing still. Which is making me feel extremely confused.

Anyone? x

Sorry for your bad news. I think people say that because although many private scan places used qualified sonographers there are some that don't they just go through the companies training. It's not like going to the hospital and a doctor telling you they would probably not question that. Also for some people I think they find it hard to deal with bad news like that so it's easier for them to deal with it by having that little bit of oh it could be ok attitude.

That being said it's not right for them to try and get your hopes up it does sound like it could be a missed miscarriage. I've had two this year and I still had plenty of symptoms until I had passed the babies which is so confusing. I hope it goes as well as can be at the EPU tomorrow xx

Thank you so much @mummatara .
I get the feeling people are trying to be kind or are trying to grasp on to a tiny bit of hope. But mentally I just can’t.

It is really hard when you still have pregnancy symptoms. I’m so sorry you went through it twice.

I’m so scared for tomorrow. I’m tempted to take some cocodamol before I go to relax me for the internal scan. It’s been the longest week of my life.

@BlahBlah36 I think it's hard for them to get esp if they haven't been through it they just don't know what to say in the situation ❤️

I've had surgical and natural management so if you have any questions please feel free to ask

Honestly you have to do whatever works for you to get you through it. Both times everyone in my EPU were absolutely amazing. I've had quite a few internal scans and they are actually not as bad as I first thought they would be they explain what there doing all the time through it xx

Was the private one an internal one?

I went mad when I had a miscarriage. It was hard. Sent home and told to let nature do her stuff. Not helped by local hospital. Got pregnant and had the girl of my dreams. Don't give up.

@mummatara that’s reassuring, thanks. I want the surgery as I have a 4yo DS and I really don’t want it to happen spontaneously while he’s around. I’m just hoping they can fit me in quickly.

@Twinklelittlestar65 it was an abdominal scan. They had a setting where you could see the blood flow as colours on the screen and there was nothing there.

@Londonderry34 I’m so sorry to hear that.If there’s a time that will send you mad, this feels like it. Congratulations on your daughter! We have a DS already and after this and due to my age/health I think we’re going to stop there.

@BlahBlah36 good luck today I hope its not too awful for you and they can fit you in swiftly x

@mummatara thank you. It wasn’t too bad. They did the internal scan and the measurements and results were the same. Rather than having me come back for another scan she called in another sonographer to confirm the results. As the measurements were almost identical to the private scan they were ok to confirm the miscarriage.

I’m booked in for surgery on Thursday morning but have to go to stay on ward from 5pm on Wednesday. Just need to organise a bag now.