Scared to leave home

[clhsgirl]

Hi everyone,

I had my 7 week scan following IVF on Monday and was diagnosed with a blighted ovum. I am planning to have medical management next Thursday (earliest the EPAU will let me have it) but in the meantime I am really worried about being out of the house and it starting spontaneously. At the moment it isn't too bad as I'm off work for half-term so can stay home but I am back at work on Monday and am very worried about it starting while I'm at school. My headteacher has given me the option to have all of next week off but I don't want to do this if I don't need it as last time I took 2 days off at 4 weeks, I felt so stressed and didn't have a clue what was going on when I returned. Meanwhile, my husband is telling me i'm silly for wanting to be at home and that going out would do me good. I'm bleeding now but I have had on and off bleeding the whole pregnancy so that doesn't really give me any indication of it starting. I'm feeling so stressed and don't know what to do. Any advice?

Firstly, I'm very sorry to hear about your situation.

Everyone is different, and there is no way of knowing if it will/won't kick up a gear between now and when you're booked in for your medical management. For example, I started bleeding on 17th Sept and bled consistently, (like a fairly heavy but manageable period), until 30th Sept when I had surgical management.

If you feel really uncomfortable I would say take your headteacher's offer to have next week off. Otherwise, there may be some things to help make you feel more comfortable oht and about: A) big comfy pads, and lots of them. B) outfits that you feel comfortable in - I found that thick jodhpur type leggings were good with an over-the-bum jumper, as everything felt very 'secure'. C) make a clear plan of action with a trusted colleague for what happens if it does ramp up while you're at work, so don't have to 'think' (/panic) in the moment. D) Put a towel on your car seat, just in case.

Good luck and sorry again you are having to deal with this. Hope you feel brighter soon.

I would take the time off. There is no way I would be in a classroom setting thinking I was going to miscarry at any point. I think it depends how far you are along in terms of what you will need to pass, but my MMC at 9-10 weeks that stopped developing at 6-7 weeks - the whole pregnancy tissue and lining fell out together and came away all at once.

I found out I had a MMC on a Wednesday, went straight home instead of to school, took medication on the Friday, then miscarried on the Sunday. Had the full next week off and I would have taken another week if I felt it was necessary. You can't be discriminated against for pregnancy-related illness. It comes up as sick pay on my payslip. I'd already had 2 days off with covid and had had 3 appointments out at the EPU / antenatal.

The only thing I have thought of is if I have another pregnancy I end up expecting to lose, I will tell a close colleague who I know can dive in if I needed to exit the room quickly.