1st MMC unsure if I want to try again

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Hi there,

I think I’m quietly struggling at the moment and just wanted to chat with people who might be in a similarish situation.

I‘m extremely lucky to be mum to a 2 yo DS. In July I had a MMC at 10 wks. I think this really caught me off guard after a good first pregnancy.

I’ve always thought I’d like 2 children, but after the MC this year, and a blood clot/ PE after having my DS, I’m just so nervous to try again.

A huge part of me would love to give my DS a sibling and my gut feeling is to try for another. The other part of me doesn’t want to risk my own health. I suffer from HA - especially after these events - and terrified of leaving my DS & family behind.

Thanks in advance for any advise or words of wisdom!

So sorry for your loss! It’s such a brutal journey. I had a low risk and easy first pregnancy and DD is 4.5. We decided to TTC 6 months ago. I subsequently had two back to back missed miscarriages (both stopped at 7 weeks but didn’t find out until the 9-10th week. and the surgery was on the 10-11 weeks). it was fine the first time but the 2nd time really hit me hard. There’s no need to make any decision soon I guess. Look after yourself and then everything will work out eventually

Hi

So sorry for your loss. I'm going through something really similar. I have a 22 month old son & sadly recently miscarried at around 10 weeks. It was such a horrible experience and I'm only just starting to feel myself again.

I feel like I should start ttc soon but just don't feel ready. I'm getting older and have endometriosis so know I can't wait too long. I just don't want to risk go through that again but would love for my DS to have a sibling. It's a difficult choice... I'm planning on enjoying Christmas and hopefully i will feel ready again in the new year after some more time. Take care of yourself.

@Anusername so sorry to hear about your losses. I can totally imagine the second was even more difficult to go through. I was definitely lulled into a false sense of it all being fairly straight forward with my DS. Everyone’s experience and even every individual experience is so different isn’t it. I am going to try to take low dose aspirin from ovulation the next time we ‘try’. Don’t know if you’ve read about that? Seems some people have success with it.

@Yellowbell agree it’s really difficult and I also feel a certain sense of being under a bit of time pressure for various reasons. I think since writing the original post I’m surer that I’d like to try again, I’d love my DS to have a sibling. And actually I’m sure so many people go through what we’ve been through and don’t talk about it.

I’ll keep everything crossed for all of us if we do decide to give it another go x

I’m two weeks post surgical management of a MMC , we were shocked to find no heartbeat at the 8wk scan i chose medical management and believed it had worked but 2 weeks later found out it hadn’t and required the operation . We have decided to TTC again but i feel really anxious about it part of me doesn’t want to risk anything like this happening again but then like many of you i don’t want to not try again to give our 3 year old DD a sibling i grew up as an only child and i always felt i missed out on having a sibling . It’s so hard i want to be pregnant again but almost dread it as well .

I had a miscarriage after my DD. It was an IVF pregnancy (like my DD). We had to wait a year or so due to cost/covid but I did have a successful pregnancy after who is now 1. Hope that gives you hope.

@JJM13 so sorry for your loss. It’s only now we’re starting to try again. I actually had CBT end of last year because a few things including my MC culminated in crippling health anxiety and all the “what ifs” and negative thoughts became really overwhelming. I am sad that the age gap is widening between my DS and his (hopefully) future sibling but am seeing the positives of that. I think siblings are important, but more so when you’re adults maybe, and at that point the gap doesn’t feel as large. Also my DS is 3 in Aug and I love giving him undivided attention at his age.
FWIW I’ve heard trying sooner has better chances of a successful PG. I’ve personally been recommended by a consultant to start low dose aspirin from ovulation.

@HistoryFanatic thank you for sharing your positive story. A year can feel like a lifetime in the context of babies and pregnancy can’t it!