Third miscarriage- how is life so cruel

[Louiseeeeee]

I have just been told that there is no heartbeat. I thought I was 11 weeks pregnant but the baby had died at 8weeks 4 days. I’ve had 2 previous miscarriages, a blighted ovum which was devastating as it wasn’t seen until 12 week scan and the other was a bleed at 6 weeks. I have had no signs or symptoms of a miscarriage this time round, no pain or major bleed. I just can’t believe it’s happened again. I’m 34, every time I have a booking appointment my midwife says everything will be fine and that this is what my body is deigned to do- clearly mine isn’t. Does anybody have any success stories to share to give me some hope?

Yes - my DD went through very similar when she was first planning her family but now has two lovely boys. It is a horrid rollercoaster when this happens, but there are happy endings. I hope there will be for you.

I know how hard this is. I had four before having two children close together. I felt like I would never carry successfully. After three you should be getting further investigations. I know it’s hard 💐

I'm so sorry. You must be in such pain.

I had three miscarriages in a row - after 2 healthy babies so not at all the same, I know. But I mention it because I then went on progesterone the next time I was pregnant and now I'm at 20 weeks.

There's hope. Don't expect yourself to feel much hope now, when you need time to grieve. But there's hope, and when you feel ready you can ask your GP to refer you to the recurrent miscarriage clinic. 💐

I had three miscarriages. It wasn't until I went privately to a fertility clinic that it helped. I had a vitamin injection as soon as I conceived and those two times, the baby stuck and are now teens/tweens, the 14 year old being 6 ft 2! Life can change forever in just a matter of weeks so I wish you all the best. 💐

I'm sorry to read this all this, it sounds so hard. I had my first pregnancy this year which turned out to be molar, and last month had a chemical. It does feel very cruel, especially when other people seem to have stress-free pregnancies, or it sticks first time. Though I'm still on my journey, I wanted to send you strength from afar: you are not alone, and things will get better.

Thanks all. It’s really hard when you keep thinking back and asking what did I do wrong, but there’s nothing. It’s also really hard on my partner. I really don’t want to give up but it’s mentally and physically draining being pregnant with all the symptoms then getting nothing in return then waiting for your body to return back to ‘normal’ after to try again. All my friends have had nice normal pregnancies and after seeing a heartbeat this time I thought I had got there. It’s hard know there is a dead baby still inside me, my appointment with hospital is Tues so they will decide what to do then. I think I will have to go private for tests and see what they say.

I am so sorry for your loss. The nhs guidelines say you should be able to access genetic testing as you have now unfortunately suffered 3 losses, so ask for this at your appointment on Tuesday. This may give you some more information, genetic testing could be able to give you a reason for this loss, and/or point towards a reason for your recurring losses. Conversely if the testing returns as a normal result, that could help in terms of looking at different non genetic causes which could have contributed, which could then lead to a medication strategy for a subsequent pregnancy.
( I am a genetic scientist within the nhs) hope this helps.

Hi @Louiseeeeee im so sorry. I’m going through the same now, had a scan 2 weeks ago with a heartbeat and then follow up scan today and their heart has stopped. It’s my 3rd mc too and like you I think everything is ok and have symptoms only to find out at the scans. It’s unbelievably cruel, but wanted to let you know you are not alone 💔 I’m going to call the gp on Monday and get referred for with medical management or the surgery and then referral to the recurrent mc clinic although I think we might just go private too to speed things up. It’s doesn’t feel real yet, just totally numb

So sorry to read this OP. 4 miscarriages here, plus 2 DC's. When you're feeling ready ask your GP to refer you so they can work out if it's just terrible bad luck or if something is wrong. Be gentle with yourself and if you need to distance yourself from friends with small children don't be afraid to do so.

I'm sorry this is happening to you. It's SO hard, and you've got no control over any of it. It's awful.

You've got to keep trying, and get through the heartache.

9 pregnancies and three children for me. The pain will always be remembered but the children make it all worthwhile.

Devastating 😞 this exact thing happened to my friend, they were all within a year. Her little one arrived this summer, perfectly healthy on her due date. I always knew they would get their happy ending and I’m so glad they finally have. Look after yourself, you will get yours too 💕

I’m so sorry for everyone going through this. I’ve had two MMC this year, discovered at our dating scans, after seeing a healthy HB at an 8 week scan on the second :(
thank you to those posting positive stories, they help so much, currently devastated and feeling like there must be something wrong and it’s inevitable it will happen again, but the more I read the more I wonder if for most it’s just a numbers game, and I need to be strong enough to power through.
thinking of going private for some initial tests but even that is a minefield of choice abs differences of opinion!
Sending love to all going through this, I’ve never felt emotional pain and anxiety like it xxx

I can feel your pain, I discovered my 2nd mmc at a scan today and it’s draining thinking about the journey to the negative pregnancy test.

i am hopeful for all of us who seem to be the unlikely percentages. Especially when it feels like everyone we see around us is the other 97%

x