BadgerNotes and previous baby loss

[Username91]

Hello,

im just writing this because I don’t know if I’m overreacting a bit or I’m right to be upset.

im currently pregnant (about 10 weeks) after previously losing a baby at 22 weeks. I am very anxious as it is and I am also under the care of an NHS trust that has been the subject of an inquest and widely reported in the national press due to the preventable deaths of multiple babies. When I went in to hospital to deliver my baby the care I received was awful and has only added to my anxiety going forward. I won’t go in to all the details but it included a midwife sitting on the sofa in my room scrolling on her phone when I was in distress, being left for hours between delivering the baby and being taken to surgery as the placenta hadn’t passed during which time I was bleeding over the bed and nearly passing out and a surgeon laughing and joking when coming to asses me and then another inserting a cannula without even talking to me or making eye contact. When I had to eventually leave the room expressing how I didn’t feel right leaving him on his own being told by the midwife “oh don’t worry, we’ll pop him in the fridge here and they’ll collect him tomorrow”. I don’t know if that sounds that bad written down but honestly that and loads of other things made the worst experience of my life even harder.

So now I’m pregnant again and have been told to download BadgerNotes. Have come to do this today following the instructions and have been met with “no current care plan” and just a thing at the side of the app stating pregnancy and a heart emoji with DOB and the date this happened. It just really feels like a kick in the teeth and has really upset me. The hospital just don’t seem to really care, there have been so many struggles with appointments and promises of phone calls that never materialise I just feel so disheartened and physically sick with worry. I honestly don’t think I can trust these people to care for me or my unborn baby.

I realise this message is really poorly written and might not even make much sense but I really just needed to vent and to ask would this have upset you too or am I overreacting due to past experiences/hormones etc?

Thank you for reading this warbled, incoherent rant.

No advice, but that makes sad reading so I wanted to send a virtual hug. Someone will come along soon and give you some advice 🤗
Good luck with your new baby, I hope things improve for you. X

That sounds horrendous, are there any other Trusts in reasonable travelling distance you could transfer your care to?

Also if you want to chat to someone about your anxiety (completely understandable) could you contact the miscarriage association, they can be a listening ear for new pregnancies after a previous loss.

Can you transfer hospital at all? Everything you are feeling is totally valid and the way they handled your baby being born was horrendous.
Having been through a 21+5 loss and a successful rainbow pregnancy I know how important the hospital staff were to me. The support made a huge difference.

Can you speak to your community midwife? Do you have any trust in them? You could also ask for a referral to perinatal mental health, if you don't think the midwives will refer you the phone number may be on the NHS website and you could call them and speak to the duty nurse and see if they can help.

It might also be worth speaking to PALS, knowing how I felt at the time I'm sure making a complaint then was way down the list but speak to them now and they might be able to support you to speak to the right people and get the help through the pregnancy.

I'm sorry if none of this helps, I wish you all the best

@mummatoboyx what the fuck is wrong with you?

Not only doesn’t getting pregnant again shortly after mean anything like that, the OP doesn’t give us a time scale. Other pregnancy could have been years ago.

No, she says she’s ten weeks pregnant you imbecile.

@mummatoboyx She said she was 10 weeks pregnant after loosing a previous baby not that she was pregnant 10 weeks after. Not that your comment was ever acceptable but suggest you apologise and get your post deleted.

I've reported her comments - it's disgraceful that a forum for supporting women/mothers/pregnancy has people who feel the need to be so unkind.

Reported

Op, I'm sorry first for your loss.

I have no idea what badgernotes are but like a pp said is there any possibility of you going to a different hospital? I moved to one that was further away after a very traumatic time with my first meant I had no trust in them. Is this a possibility?

As for the dickhead replying above, I have reported.

Please ignore the previous poster, OP.
I'm so sorry about everything you have been through and congratulations on your current pregnancy. It might be worth sharing how you feel with your midwife who may be able to get you some additional support throughout your pregnancy to help you deal with your (totally understandable) anxieties around this pregnancy.
In terms of badger notes, sadly much of it is automated and generated by the system so that everyone involved in your care can see any relevant history. Both of my previous miscarriages appear on mine. Again, speak to your midwife as there may be a way to remove it from the dashboard if that would make you more comfortable.

First time I’ve ever reported a comment on MN. So sorry to hear of your loss OP. Wishing you all the best with your pregnancy.

I've also reported - I don't think I've ever read anything so disgusting and heartless on here. Vile individual. OP please ignore these hideous comments.

OP you are not overreacting at all, your experience sounds horrendous and staff sound completely lacking in compassion. I'm so sorry you have experienced that and for the loss of your baby. Have you complained to PALS?

If you are able to I would seek care in another hospital.

Badger notes gets all filled in at your booking appt and 16 week appt. If you haven't had these yet then it won't be filled yet. I just had my booking appt yesterday and lots of it is filled in today, inc details of a prev pregnancy lost at end of T1.

The other aspects of your care you describe are awful @Username91. If at any time you feel ready to make a complaint, I would encourage you to do so.

I’m sorry for your loss.
What is it that’s upsetting you about the badger notes?

Hello OP here,

I've name changed since this post and this old username is not in the list of my previous ones for some reason!

I just wanted to say thank you so much to the posters who replied on here, you offered me some great advice and more importantly just made me feel better on a day where I was just overcome with emotion.

I can’t say that my maternity care improved much on the whole after this and I had a very stressful experience on the day of my baby’s birth. I won’t go in to detail as it’s would be quite outing but it was bloody awful. Lots of the midwives and other health professionals I had contact with were truly lovely and I do understand they are doing a really important job in terribly difficult circumstances but I don’t think this is an excuse for some of the downright poor care I and many, many others continue to receive.

On a happier note my daughter is now 9 months old and doing really well. I can’t describe the feeling of hearing her cry for the first time when she arrived via planned c section, sheer joy and just pure relief from 9 months of stress and anxiety. I do think of my first little girl often and will always carry her with me but I feel so very lucky to have a beautiful, healthy child.

I will say that lots of the midwives I dealt with along the way were really lovely and brilliant at what they do. I feel awful for them having to do such an important job in what are obviously extremely difficult and testing circumstances. I don’t however think this is an excuse for the many examples of inadequate care. I hope that the trust will eventually learn from their mistakes but I’m very doubtful. There are many women who have had much, much worse experiences than mine which is really upsetting.

I have waffled on again so I will leave it there but genuinely thank you so much for being kind to me at a horrible time…and also dealing the poster who wasn’t. Fortunately they had already been reported and posts deleted by the time I came back to the thread so I didn’t have to see what I am assuming were vile comments. I think that would have tipped me over the edge at the time!

Oh and I promise I’m not a weird troll or anything, I just realised I referred to my first daughter as ‘he’ in my original post. I guess I thought it was less identifying at the time.