3rd consecutive loss

[Lily1990]

Hi everyone,

I had a MMC discovered at my 12 week scan earlier this year, and have just had 2 chemical pregnancies in the last 2 cycles. I coped reasonably well with the MMC but am now feeling broken after the latest chemical pregnancy. Doubting if I will ever be able to have children, while everyone around me is falling pregnant and giving birth.

Has anyone else been in this situation and how did you cope / is there anything you would recommend doing next time?

And do you think I would be eligible for recurrent miscarriage tests, given two were CPs? I have PCOS and am currently taking metformin & inofolic alpha, and know that my thyroid is fine.

Thanks and love to anyone who has experienced pregnancy loss.

Lily xx

I couldn't read and run. Sorry you're going through this.
I had four miscarriages before finally falling pregnant. The NHS couldn't have given less of a fuck.
Then my last MC was in another country where they did blood tests etc to find out why it had happened and they advised my husband and I on supplements we needed to take. I think mine was low potassium and vitamin C and his was zinc. They told us not to try again for 12 weeks. We were super-skeptical but desperate so we took the supplements for 3 months and conceived. We'd been trying for 7 years before that.
I was also told to rest through the first trimester and avoid all stress. It all made a difference for me. DC1 is 3 next week.
Finding out why and whether there's anything you can do can be a huge help but it's such a fight in the UK. Can you access any private fertility testing/investigations?

Thanks so much @PeekabooAtTheZoo for your reply and really sorry you experienced four miscarriages. Must have been so unbelievably hard trying for 7 years too. But congratulations on your DC, that gives me hope!

It's good that you were taken seriously in the other country (though terrible not here in the UK) and they were able to find out what was wrong. We saw a private fertility specialist after the MMC (who prescribed metformin and inofolic alpha for PCOS) but I think we need to go back and have the recurrent miscarriage tests. I've read some tests can't be done until at least 6 weeks after a miscarriage though which is annoying.

Unsure whether to take a break with TTC or continue and hope we get lucky. Guess we'll see how we feel emotionally over the next few weeks and potentially what the doctor advises.

Thank you again for your support :)

I had four and have to say the NHS were amazing. After the second I had full testing. I’m not sure what the process is after a chemical. I would speak to them and see if you can get on the list, especially if age is a factor. There are so many variables (blood clotting disorders, genetic issues, sperm issues, uterus complications), and the NHS tested for all of them, I can’t fault them at all. Good luck!

Thanks so much for responding @Grognonne, and I'm sorry you had to go through four miscarriages. That's really encouraging that the NHS were amazing with testing. Did you have to wait a long time to get referred or have the tests? If you don't mind me asking, did they find a cause?

No, I didn’t wait very long at all, three months maybe? They are very clear that it’s hard to find a ‘cause’, there are so many things it could be and so many pregnancies end in miscarriage. That’s the trouble with early testing, mostly we would not be aware and think it’s a late period, it’s very common/natural to miscarry early and doesn’t usually indicate any issue. In my case I did have a blood clot issue, and a septum in my uterus, and they gave me blood thinners and progesterone. I went on to have another miscarriage and that was tested and was a genetic issue (again, very common, sperm and egg aren’t quite up to it and spontaneously abort). We were both checked for genetics and all came back fine.

Went on to have a successful pregnancy, but it’s hard to say whether the issues I had affected the miscarriages (people often have the issues I did and have no problems with carrying a baby).

They do want you to avoid trying for a baby whilst the testing is going on, mostly for your sake, to save the heartache of something is an issue that is likely to cause recurrent miscarriage (mostly genetic issues).

Sorry to hear this @Lily1990. It's so hard, I know.

I have an older DC but had 3 early losses within a year while ttc a couple of years ago. They did a referral to the recurrent miscarriage clinic after the third. The appointment came through after about 6 months I think. I did however conceive ten days after the third loss. It was about 12 weeks before our wedding so I was so fatalistic! My cousin is a midwife and advised baby aspirin and lots of rest. DS1 was a basically uneventful pregnancy and I was 41 by then. I say DS1 because DS2 turned up unexpectedly 20 months later - I followed the aspirin advice once again and he turned 2 yesterday.

It's small comfort but you ARE fertile. Chase a referral and keep holding on. If they can tell you why all the better.

@GrognonneThank you for sharing your story, that's really helpful. Interesting that although they identified a potential issue, your next miscarriage was not due to that, but genetics. So pleased you went on to have a successful pregnancy.

That's very true about early testing, I know it can cause unnecessary heartache but it's almost impossible not to monitor everything closely when TTC! But still, what you said is a comforting reminder that early miscarriages are very common and maybe I'm not as broken as I think :)

@RinklyRomaine thank you so much for your lovely message, that's made me feel a lot better! How amazing that you got pregnant 10 days after your 3rd miscarriage and then again unexpectedly with DC2. I think I'll try baby aspirin next time too (have also been prescribed progesterone pessaries) so fingers crossed that helps. All the very best to you and your DCs!

You certainly are not broken!! Genetic abnormalities are usually the most likely (this mostly just means bad sperm or egg, not that there is something genetically wrong with you or your partner). Yes, I had taken all the aspirin, injections and pessaries and still miscarried. A lot of it is random. Just think of how many women before us that would regularly have a late period and think it was just that as they weren’t able to test that early. It’s just your body’s way of expelling something that wouldn’t have made it, as awful as that sounds. Please don’t despair, it’s so common, and more often than not there is nothing wrong with you or your partner.

Thank you so much @Grognonne, your message is really comforting for me and my partner!