I had a chemical pregnancy and it's my fault

[Yellowsalamander]

I (24) was on medication for years that is Bad for pregnancy. I knew the statistics, +80% chance of miscarriage and +60% of major birth defects if it survived. The other medicine I was on stopped hormonal treatment for being effective, and the coil made me bleed. So we used condoms, knowing they were the most reliable if used as the sole protection regularly. I got pregnant and then miscarried at 6 weeks. Didn't even know I was pregnant and just complained at how much it hurt and how big the clots were.

How do I get over that guilt? I knew the risks and the stats and still gambled with a baby's life. All the support websites say it isn't the mother's fault but it was I took those drugs. It's been 2 months and I can't stop thinking about it.

My partner won't talk about it, the times I've brought it up he's joked, started an argument about something else and last night fell asleep. I just need someone to talk to

It isn't your fault and you shouldn't feel guilty. You were being responsible by using condoms, unfortunately you had a contraceptive failure.

It's not your fault, love.

You were taking very responsible action with contraception, and that's all you could do.

I'm so sorry x

I’m sorry, love. You did your best. Many, many pregnancies are lost at this early stage and it may not even have been your medication. Sometimes we just never know.

Do please get some support though, your partner is not being much use here.

You took medication that you needed and you used precautions that failed. It's not your fault.

And it wasn't a baby's life, you essentially had a very painful, late period.

You don't need to keep beating yourself up about it.

OP, I got pregnant a couple of weeks after an abdominal CT scan and miscarried. Was it the scan's fault? A possiblilty but only that. There is no way to tell as lots of people have miscarriages so I did not beat myself up about it. I really think you shouldn't either.