Recovery from missed miscarriage

[completelyunderwhelmed]

Hi, I wondered if anyone could help with the timeline of recovery.

I have one child already and recently had a missed miscarriage (found at 9 weeks, baby stopped growing at 7). I had medical management at home and had really bad blood loss. Went to A&E. They said it was too much blood and the clots were too large (palm size) but they were satisfied that it was slowing down (it was). My HB levels had dropped but weren't too horrendous so they advised iron supplements and that was that. It's been almost a week since the start of the process and I feel so weak, depleted and breathless. I can feel my blood pumping in my ears when I do anything. I wake up with a headache each day and basically feel physically incapable of doing anything. I am trying to wfh but really struggling. And now the process is over, the intense fears about trying again are kicking in. My body feels like a wreck - how could I possibly conceive again any time soon.

Has anyone else felt like this? How long until you felt physically better?

Hi OP. I had a mmc, managed with surgery. Also found quite late at 9 weeks and operated on at 11 weeks. I took a month break from ttc. Conceived within 2 month trying again. (I'm also a bit older). I got extra scans this time round. It was a very anxious pregnancy but it is going well now. Lots of kicks which are reassuring.

At the time, getting the news, waiting on scans, recovery from surgery it's just awful. You feel like you're never going to get over it. I had to pull myself together for my older child. No doubt it would hurt alot more if I wasn't pregnant with my rainbow baby.

I just want you to have hope that things can turn round and this pain will ease. If you are ttc give yourself at least 1 cycle off to recover and for you to have a good thick lining. Also consider taking baby aspirin, high dose vit D, progesterone supplements and ubiquinol alongside pregnancy vits. Get OH to take vits and look after himself. Most of these early miscarriages are down to chromosome issues and no fault of either parent. These are just tips to improve your chances.

Also, it took me 2 full weeks to fully recover physically from surgery.

Thanks for your kind reply.

I want to speak to the doctor about the aspirin thing. I never take aspirin normally because it makes me bruise - curious as to whether this suggests that I shouldn't take it.

I have had problems with anaemia and low ferritin previously. I had got them up to great levels in preparation for TTC and now they are ruined again. So many awful feelings of frustration about my health, about the ever increasing possible age-gap, possibility of having an only child etc. So angry that men don't ever have to experience the horrors of child bearing!

@Raindrops2015 - in my anger at the world, I forgot to say 'Congratulations!' 😄

Thank you OP. I don't expect a congratulations at all. Just take it easy. You are entitled to time off work for this btw. It is pregnancy related so legally
it should be exempt from absence policy protocol.
I hope you're getting good support. Men can't bear children but it is a team effort and there is many things a (good) man can do to support you through this.

If it's any support, I can also relate to the pain - physically and emotionally. I'm recovering from a MMC and have a scan tomorrow - 3 weeks after medical management to see if I have passed everything.

I would say physically I felt more towards 'normal' after about a week - but that was in terms of bleeding / brown discharge. But in terms of mood swings, exhaustion and general brain fog! I'm still very much in the thick of it.

I would imagine its fairly normal for our bodies to need time to readjust. If you feel able to, find your network of people and keen that connection going. Its a horrid time but you aren't alone xx

@Kappi - thank you. I felt my hormones drop off a cliff after the first medication (mifepristone?). I'm so shocked at the physical after effects - its really awful -I feel totally incapacitated and wonder if I should ask the Doctor to check my iron levels again. There's just something so brutal about a 'missed' miscarriage (though all miscarriage is awful, obviously). I'm so worried about how anxious I will be if I manage to get pregnant again. I was so naive in my first (successful) pregnancy.

I think that's a good idea about speaking to the GP, as the iron might just help with the day to day energy levels:

I agree about the cruelness of a missed miscarriage - I was naively thinking all would be fine at my scan. Its the shock of It - I'll never forget hearing the words.

I share your anxieties around (hopefully) future pregnancies - Im an anxious person anyway so I can't imagine that helps!

My husband wants to wait before trying again - I feel differently at the moment. I'm keen to try again but I understand we both have to be ready.

Hopefully this was just an obstacle we can both overcome and we both go on to have full term pregnancies. I'm with you though, the emotional and physical impact is something else