Struggling to cope after two miscarriages

[Presently83]

I don't know where to turn or what to do. I'm so overwhelmed with grief and panic and anxiety and sadness. I've had two miscarriages in 8 months, both nearly 11wks, and I just feel so hopeless and distraught.

My life is falling apart. I can't see any of my friends, 98% of whom have children or are pregnant or both, my sister is going through infertility treatment and can't speak to me at all because my miscarriages are too much for her, my partner doesn't know what to say or how to help and I can feel myself distancing from him, my career is collapsing all around me. I feel so utterly alone. I can't see a way out of this. All I want to do is stay in bed and cry. It's horrific.

I go through waves - I was feeling ok last week but this week had several texts announcing pregnancies and it's set me totally back.

I can't see a way out of this hell.

I’m so sorry to hear you are going through this. Allow yourself grace to grieve xxx I’ve been through something similar and felt alone too. I would suggest….

1. talk therapy/counselling - this helped me and my GP helped me access it.
2. joining some social media groups where others have been through this and you can air your thoughts, this also helped me feel less alone too.
3. take one day at a time, focus on having a shower, getting dressed and going for a walk.
4. unfortunately partners and family members often don’t know how to support/react to our circumstances so don’t take it personally.

I wish you all the very best! I have been so consumed by grief and depressed but in a much better position today. There is hope still xx

I am so sorry to hear about your experience. It sounds really difficult for you. I highly recommend the miscarriage association, they can offer you guidance, advice and support. Even if you don't want to speak to anyone they have lots of information available that may help you get through this, www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
All the best x

I'm so sorry. I know how lonely it feels - I've also had two in last year. Please take your time to look after yourself, be kind to yourself. You must grieve and process in the way that's right for you and take a break from social media etc if needed. I had to delete socials for a while as couldn't handle seeing all the pregnancies. I've gained a lot of benefit from doing alternative therapies like acupuncture and reflexology and also counselling. You're not alone and I promise you will come through this.

I'm so sorry. I was in the exactly same place 15 years ago. Two miscarriages in a year, everyone around me pregnant (including both my best friends, my SIL, and 10 people at work). It was the worse time of my life.

I was on an online forum similar to MN and found people who had been through similar and that helped. In the end, I took low dose aspirin as soon as I found out I was pregnant again and managed to carry two pregnancies to term. We'll never know if it was the aspirin but I needed to do something and I have heard so many similar stories.

Be kind to yourself and do what you need to do.

www.mumsnet.com/talk/miscarriage/4559567-support-thread-for-those-experiencing-or-recently-experienced-a-mcmmc-thread-6-all-welcome?page=7&reply=118710532

Support thread here with a lot of other ladies who've been where you are OP, come on over if you want to, no pressure, no judgment.

I had multiple before my first child. I put myself on low dose aspirin

Thanks all. I've just tried most of these things.

I'm having acupuncture and therapy, I'm walking the dog a lot, I joined a Miscarriage Association Zoom support group with my partner (which did help), I've seen doctors and was prescribed Clexane and low dose aspirin for my last pregnancy, I've spoken to midwives at Tommy's, I've set up an Instagram account just to connect with people going through similar things, I've even tried to call Samaritans a few times but, hilariously, nobody ever answers.

I know it will get better because it did after the first one eventually and I was feeling so much better last week before I was completely floored by loads of my best friends announcing pregnancies. I just feel like all of my friends are getting further and further away from me in terms of life and happiness, and I had such close friendships before all this. I can't believe how unhappy I am.

Hi I had my 2nd mc last Tues 😪at 9 weeks

3 years ago was my first so finding out I was expecting again after all that time came as a shock

I allowed myself to get excited but also I knew that a second mc was possible

I'm 43 and was wondering has anybody else carried on trying after 2 mcs and the same age as me or do I just stop trying again?

I'm so sorry @Ria23. It's so so hard. I had a third in September then a failed round of IVF in October, with all abnormal embryos.

I'm going to have two more rounds of ivf then a think about whether or not to pursue donor eggs.

Have you thought about donor eggs? X

Hi @presently83 thanks for ur reply and sorry about ur sad news too it's totally sucks 😢
No I haven't thot about donor eggs as my husband has said it's too heartbreaking and he doesn't want to try again 😔

I'm going back on the pill and that's really not what I want as I would love to try one more time x

I know how you feel. Found out yesterday I’m having my third miscarriage in 18 months. I tried everything this time too - acupuncture and progesterone so just feeling pretty hopeless. Have had to distance myself from pregnant friends as I just can’t be happy for them when hurting so much myself

@Baw92 I'm so sorry that ur going through this too 😔
I'm the same I have my best friend expecting and I haven't been able to bring myself to see her and we've been friends since school 😪it's selfish I feel because I should be gwppy for her

My marriage is falling apart as my husband doesn't understand he's just carrying on as normal

I've gone back on the pill as he doesn't want to try again

I'm devastated 💔 😞

@Ria23 its not selfish at all and if they’re a true friend they should understand. Sorry to hear you’re struggling xxx

@Baw92 Thanku and likewise I'm sorry ur going through it again too it's honestly the worse thing ever 😔

And I'll never know the cause of either of my losses as they won't investigate after 2 😪

Me and my husband have children from different partners so we're lucky in that way it just would have been perfect to have one of our own

@Baw92 Do u have children? X

No I don’t have any children. Have had 3 MC and no real investigation so feel abit helpless with it all.

@Baw92 bles you I'm so sorry 😞 x

How are you doing OP? I am in a very similar situation. I hope you are ok xxx