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Miscarriage a month on

Kinderella92 · 16/07/2022 22:09

Hi, a month on Sunday I lost our baby at 10 weeks and I was just wondering what other ladies are doing or did that helped with the grieving. I feel angry, resentful against other pregnant women which only makes me more angry and guilty, I can be fine one day and the next just can’t hold back the tears but mostly I feel lonely, my partner is a hunter and I’ve never cared about him going out but since our miscarriage every time he leaves, he wouldn’t even have pulled out of the drive I’m in tears. I never knew I could love so deeply in such a short space of time. I just feel empty and numb.

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Solongmarianne92 · 16/07/2022 23:12

I’m so sorry for your loss, I had a miscarriage at the start of last month and it’s so horrendous.
I think everything you’re feeling is normal. Try to be kind to yourself and accept that the anger, jealousy and resentment are all understandable emotions and don’t make you a bad person.
I'm finding mumsnet/ various Facebook groups/ Instagram pages quite useful as it reminds me that as lonely as this feels, we’re not alone.
I’ve found reading books by Zoe Clark-Coates useful too.
I have gone back to work and it’s been a good distraction, I didn’t feel ready at first but was glad I went.
I spoke to my closest friends and several of them visited and I was feeling a little better. However my period has recently restarted and it’s been difficult and I’ve felt very emotional, so I think it’s important to accept that you’ll have some good days and some bad days and your grief isn’t always predictable. Do you have friends/ family you feel able to speak to?
I’m trying to focus on TTC again and I’ve stopped alcohol and caffeine, as well as improving my diet and taking pre-pregnancy supplements. I’m not sure if any of these will have any impact but it’s making me feel a little more in control!
It’s a very lonely place, feel free to PM if you’d like xx

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Presently83 · 18/07/2022 08:35

Oh OP, I'm so sorry you're going through this, it's the loneliest place in the world.

I had my second MMC in 8 months a month ago, both have been past 10 wks, and they've both been so traumatic.

The only thing that helps is time, talking about it with people who understand, women who've gone through it, writing about it, reading books about it, swimming in the sea, taking a proper holiday to escape from it all. Time off.

I recently found Adrift by Miranda Ward incredibly beautiful and helpful to read.

I also started a private Instagram account to document my feelings and what's going on with TTC etc, and I've found the community there incredibly supportive and helpful.

I promise you, you won't feel like this forever. Sending love.

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