Miscarriage and break up

3 replies

CraigAdamAbbott · 14/07/2022 20:02

Hi I just wonder if anyone out there can help.
My partner recently miscarried and we lost our twins, they told us it was a missed miscarriage and that the babies had died at six weeks old. A few days later after receiving the bad news my partner asked for some time and space. I asked her why as I wanted to be there to look after her and support her. She told me she was feeling guilty and overwhelmed and the pain was all too much. I told her I would be there for her no matter what, then she pushed me away. I contacted her family members to ask if there’s anything I could do to help her and got no reply. Then my partner contacted me telling me I was harassing her family and to leave her alone and she’ll never contact me again and blocked me on all social media and on the phone. I don’t know what I’ve done wrong and I’m really struggling to cope with loss of our children and my partner. Is there anyone out there who has been through this and can help? Please

OP posts:

Ttc42nearly43 · 15/07/2022 07:58

Hello wanted to respond to your post I had a miscarriage just last weekend a missed miscarriage at 10 and a half weeks. I have had a conversation with my husband the other night about separating this is because he didn't want the baby and I feel like am grieving the loss alone but we agreed to try and make things work as we have 2 other children to consider.

In your situation it sounds like you very much wanted your babies too. Am sorry that this has happened. Maybe give your partner the space that she is asking for just for a week or two. When you misscarry you are overwhelmed with a sea of emotions there are the physical along with emotional implications. I would still attempt contact in a couple of weeks but try to write her a letter just asking to meet up or even a phone call. Hopefully she will respond if you tell her how much you love her and how much you are hurting too and that you are just needing to know why she no longer wants to see you.

Did you have any relationship issues before the miscarriage? For me I already have long standing relationship problems and the loss of my baby has just thrown open so many other problems. Try to ask her in the letter is there is anything else wrong, was she unhappy in ur relationship before the pregnancy for example?

In the meantime while you are giving her some space get support for yourself contact Sands or Cruse Breavement and talk to people about what has happened as bottling it up is definitely not going to help you cope with these losses.

Original poster

CraigAdamAbbott · 15/07/2022 21:07

I’m sorry to hear you’ve lost your baby, but happy to hear your trying to work through things with your husband.

I very much did want the babies and so did my partner. I still haven’t heard from her and have no way of contacting her apart from email or post. Our relationship was strong before the pregnancy and during. I was there for her, as I knew her ex wasn’t with her two boys. Plus I believed she was my soul mate. We love all the same things and connected on every level. Will she really want to hear I love her or will that just push her further away?

I was with her from the end of her divorce to the sale of her home and the move to her new one. Helping every step of the way as I didn’t want her to miscarry with our babies.

thank you for responding to my message and thank you for your advice. Any and all advice is welcome all I want is my family to be whole again.

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Original poster

CraigAdamAbbott · 16/07/2022 10:25

I’m sorry to hear you’ve lost your baby, but happy to hear your trying to work through things with your husband.

I was with her from the end of her divorce to the sale of her home and the move to her new one. Helping every step of the way as I didn’t want her to miscarry with our babies.

thank you for responding to my message and thank you for your advice. Any and all advice is welcome all I want is my family to be whole again.

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