Anxiety & Jealousy after a miscarriage?

[Essexgalttc]

Anyone else jealous of pregnant friends, family and have anxieties about falling pregnant or losing another pregnancy after loss?

I fell pregnant first cycle of trying in Feb this year. Due to continuous light bleeding I was sent to hospital for a scan and blood tests. We found out we were having twins! Everything seemed perfect, too good to be true.
It was too good to be true. I lost one of the twins at 8 weeks pregnant and the other the week after.

It’s been a nightmare since then, I had severe blood loss and was sent in an ambulance twice after my miscarriage treatment. It’s been 3 months and I’m still testing faint positives (no retained tissue) and still having scans and bloods to check on my levels falling.

I’m 27 so I’m still young, have time. I get that. It’s the fear of the unknown, my best friend is due the same week my twins would of been ☹️ I haven’t seen her in over 2 months because I’ve been avoiding her. I’m having counselling and life moves on but I just can’t “move on” or help these jealous or anxious feelings

So sorry

Your feelings about your friend’s pregnancy are completely natural. Be very kind to yourself and allow yourself all the space you need.

Would you consider some counselling to help process what you’ve been through?

It’s totally normal to feel as you do. It’s hard to talk about but many, many, many women feel the same.
Sorry for your loss

@AtrociousCircumstance I’m currently having pregnancy loss counselling, it’s helping. I just feel guilty. I felt “ready” to see my pregnant friend but I’ve just cancelled on her. We lost our twins 2 weeks before our wedding day ☹️

Please don’t feel any guilt at all. She may feel weirdly guilty herself because she knows you must be hurting - feelings are like that. You deserve time and space to heal - you’re not a robot who can just turn on Appropriate Congratulations mode, you’re a human being who has been through a dreadful loss and needs time and kindness x

I'm so sorry for your loss OP. I'm the same. One of my best friends had her baby in May on the same day I was due the first baby I lost in October. Now two of my best friends are pregnant and due the same time in December I would have had the second one I lost this month. It's so so hard. I can't see any of them. And I find seeing pregnant people or people with babies impossibly hard. It's completely natural, and I'm sure it will ease with time. Look after yourself and put yourself first xx

@Presently83 I’m sorry for your losses too. How awful that you have had to experience this feeling twice. It is incredibly hard isn’t it, of course I am happy for my best friend but it is almost impossible to deal with. I send her messages every so often for updates, I’m dreading being invited to the baby shower or once the day comes that the baby is born (I know, maybe I’m a bad friend for admitting that)

I send her messages every so often for updates, I’m dreading being invited to the baby shower or once the day comes that the baby is born (I know, maybe I’m a bad friend for admitting that)

Not at all. I would avoid the baby shower-any good friend would understand why.

You might find it easier to deal with once the baby is born. Lots of us who’ve been through what you’ve been through find pregnancy and scan pics etc much harder than actual babies. See how it goes and there’s no rush to be ok with anything. I’ve found communication by text/WhatsApp etc easier than meeting in person when things are particularly raw.

It's very sad and hard for you. I'm so sorry OP. In this situation I was the friend and tried so hard to be sensitive but our relationship has never recovered because of all the nasty comments, disinterest and cancellation of plans. She went onto have another child but we don't speak. I am sure your friend is hurting for you and wants to support you but don't forget she is a human with feelings too

@hellosunshineagainx I am so sorry you received nasty comments from your friend - that is just out of order. I’d never to do that my friend. I’m genuinely happy for her.

I do not think the cancellation of plans or disinterest is meant against you, I have postponed seeing my friend because I am finding it too hard to see her and the disinterest is more the fact it’s hard to talk about pregnancy after a loss. However if she’s being rude about it, that’s a whole different thing…

@PurpleDaisies Thank you! I do actually feel less sad seeing photos of babies on my Facebook rather than scan photos or announcements so you might be right about that…

Its weird really, I kind of want to be involved, go to the shower, hold her baby once born but I’m almost scared too as well

Hopefully in a few months I’ll be pregnant or feeling more at ease xx