3rd miscarriage in a row, so scared we won't have another child

[helsxx]

We had a child just over 3 years ago, been trying to have a second child since. We managed to get pregnant 3 times since, each time I have suffered a miscarriage. I'm so scared that it won't happen for us. I've just turned 40. Been referred to the miscarriage unit for tests, referral went Wednesday, waiting for an appointment. Anyone been through the same thing and come out the other side. I want to cry, finding this so hard and my anxiety is going through the roof, so scared we won't be able to have another one. So grateful we have one child already, I know a lot of people are not even that lucky but still heartbroken we have lost three since xx

I feel your pain. We had DC1 no problem, now it's been 2 years and 5 losses.

Are you taking anything? How far along are your losses if you don't mind me asking?

Just to say, my referral took 5 months but hopefully yours won't be so long. They took bloods which took 6 weeks to come back. I've had a positive for sticky blood so I need another check but other than that I've not seen the consultant. Since the referral I had 2 losses (22 weeks and 6 weeks).

I can't give you a success story (yet 🙏🏻) but you aren't alone.

Thank you so ouch for your response. Not sure if this will work, not used the site before. Can you see this message before I reply again?!

Hoping this works, so sorry for the late reply. I had a loss in 2020 at 6 weeks, managed to get pregnant again in 2021 and had a loss at 9 weeks and have just lost the last one on Monday at 6 weeks again. Did they put you on anything to help with the sticky blood? Are you holding up ok? I'm so scared it won't happen, finding it so upsetting

My last loss was Monday at 6 weeks too (what a shitty thing to be bonded by).

I was due to get my blood thinners but because the tests wasn't getting darker they tested my HCG and saw it was too low for gestation so I didn't start them. At this stage it would have been a trial because I need to have follow up bloods to confirm it (needs 2 positive blood tests 12 weeks apart to confirm sticky blood). I will meet my consultant soon and perhaps get some ready for when/if I next get a BFP. Although tbh I don't think they would have made a difference this time. We know the reason for 2 of my losses and it wasn't to do with any health concerns of mine.

I also have progesterone. Again, I'm going to see my consultant to see if I should take them sooner (perhaps after ovulation rather than from BFP).

I'm ok but not really ok, if that makes sense. But I will be ok. How r u?

I had three miscarriages in a row. I went private and they did all sort of blood tests for sticky blood and gene issues and scans and could not find any reason for them, but the next time I tried, the fertility consultant I saw recommended I took a mini aspirin and had my son. Sending you a big hug. I remember the feelings of anxiety. I found it hard to get through my fourth pregnancy as I was so stressed by the whole process by then x

Oh no, I am so sorry, it's so upsetting isn't it. One minute you will be fine, the next in tears, it sucks and everyone seems to be pregnant. I hate it. Hope it all works out for you, I really do.

I have been reading up on sticky blood, I recon I will have that also. My mum has an issue with clots, when I was pregnant with my son, there was issues with his placenta also, all makes sense. Will you need treatment to have a successful pregnancy in the future? Can it happen without treatment now you have miscarried? I want to try again but so scared it will fail bug could br waiting months for any tests/treatment also, but I'm also 40 now and not getting any younger either.

How do you stay sane also? Is there a way to stay positive through all this heartache? X

Thank you so much for your message, so glad it worked out for you, that's such good news. Do they have to test to see if it's safe for you to take aspirin before you start on that treatment? X

I'm so sorry for your losses OP. My 1st pregnancy had patau syndrome (trisomy 13) and I had TFMR. I then went on to have a MC's. I then MC again with IVF and the 2nd IVF didn't get pregnant at all. No living children and 12yrs TTC. I was referred to the recurrent MC clinic, waited and waited, and after 6mths- told I didn't qualify as the 1st lost wasn't technically an MC! Despite the foetus having a major genetic issue and I would have likely MC's down the line!

Did you get any of the MC's tested for genetics? The 3rd would certainly have qualified to have DNA testing done. No real words of wisdom, other than if you can afford private- even to get the basic tests done- do it. NHS waits are awful in most areas. Best of luck x

No they didn’t do any tests to see if it would be safe. the consultant said that not all sticky blood issues show up on blood tests and advised me to take the mini aspirin. By then I was feeling extremely pessimistic about the whole thing.. all my miscarriages were early. The latest one was at around 8 weeks in. After getting pregnant, on my fourth pregnancy, I remember going to a nhs hospital appt when I was pregnant and they queried why I was on the mini pill in a slightly off way. The nhs had not provided me with any investigations and so I was very firm in telling them that my consultant had recommended it.

There's no treatment, just blood thinners (and asprin as PP said - forgot about that one) when I am pregnant. I'm not sure what you mean when you say can it happen again now I've miscarried?

Have you tried taking asprin? It's the first thing my consultant suggested. You need to take it while trying to conceive. Even if you don't have sticky blood I don't think asprin can hurt (although I'm not a doctor but read up on it). No prescription needed you can buy it over the counter for £1 or something. I take 150mg but I think I read others taking 75mg. It's dispersible asprin.

I've also read the book "it starts with the egg" which gives some info on what supplements to take and the science behind why. I read it because I feel at my age (nearly 40) it might be to do with egg quality too.

I'll let you know when I've worked out how to stay sane 🤣

I am so sorry. Wishing you all the luck with your journey. I can't believe you was not in scope for the unit, that's so wrong.

I wish I could afford to go private but I can not. I have private healthcare at work but it does not cover pregnancy. I have chased the routes via NHS and just hope they can see me soon. I will keep trying but I'm so scared that if will end up as a loss without receiving theses tests. My pregnancy with my son was very high risk so I think there is something that has not been diagnosed but I'm not sure what. But if me is scared though that perhaps it's just bad luck and there is nothing I can do but hope for a miracle x keeping my fingers crossed for you also x

Thank you so much for getting back to me and for letting me know. I will speak with my doctor and see if that's something that may work. Worth a shot. Feel useless at the moment just waiting for appointments that may take months x

Ha ha ha ha ha if you could let me know when you work it out that would be great ha ha... I will speak with my doctor and see what he says. I had tests done on my eggs a while back as I was worried I could be going through the menopause or my endo was back. Tests come back ok but it could be that my eggs are a bit rubbish. I needed clomid with my son due to my issues with endo etc. worth a shot with the aspirin, need to try something, feel useless at the moment. I have tried cutting out fizzy drink, alcohol etc but nothing seems to help, feel like my life is on hold x

After a child and then 4 loses, I needed treatment to successfully have dc2 at 42. I was on lots of vitamins, baby aspirin, progesterone and steroids. Sounds more likely yours is a blood issue which would be the aspirin plus possibly some other medication to help with clotting (I'm thinking heparin? But I can't remember). My NHS miscarriage clinic did not come up with anything , but I was able to use those tests when I went private. TBH we just stuck the fees on our credit card. I would say I paid 2 grand all in, but prices will have increased now I'm sure.
best of luck OP and everyone on the thread who is still waiting. It's an awful time but can be worth it in the end.

Thank you so much for all your help, I really mean that. Im so worried about all this and I'm starting to panic. I will keep chasing the hospital (they said I can chase after 3 weeks) and I will book an appointment with my doctor and see what they say. I need to try something to help, just drinking and eating the right things is not working for me. Thank you for all your help, I really mean that

I had 4 miscarriages including 1 ectopic then I was given progresterone pessaries and I had my daughter that's now 7 months. I feel your pain and I know it feels dark and lonely but you will have another child. Sending love and strength 💕

I'm so sorry for your losses.
My first pregnancy was a miscarriage, then I had my daughter, then I had four more miscarriages at various gestations in 1st trimester
I went to st Mary's in Paddington and had tests and I have factor v Leiden, which is a blood clotting disorder. I then had injected blood thinners next time I got pregnant and had my son.
The doctor there says he didn't know how I had my daughter, but my mum who has never lost a baby had the tests after my diagnosis and also has fvl (it's inherited so had to have come from a parent) so I guess it doesn't always affect the baby.

Thank you so much for your help. Really hope they see me soon. Really want to try something to stop this from happening, feel so useless just waiting and I feel like I'm running out of time the longer this goes on x

I'm so sorry for your losses. I don't have any advice but I'm currently suffering my third chemical pregnancy in a row and I wanted to tell you you're not alone.

I am so sorry for your loss, it sucks having to go though all this. I'm hardly sleeping as I'm so worried it won't happen. Have you been referred also? X

Thank you ❤I've got a doctors appointment in a few weeks so I hope to be referred then.

Hi, sorry to bother you again. The doctors have told me to try baby aspirin as soon as I get a positive pregnancy test. Is that similar to what you went through? Did you go to the early pregnancy unit when you found out you was pregnant also? How long did you take baby aspirin for, u til you was 12 weeks? Been referred for further tests but I'm on a waiting list for the waiting list. I have to call at the end of the week but it could be until august until I get an appointment which could be months away xx