Should I go straight to IVF?

[Jennifer1985]

Hi everyone,

looking for some advise. I am a 37 year old woman who conceived my first son on the first try when I was 34. He was born in July 2019. We started trying for a sibling in September 2021 and I fell pregnant on first try again. Missed miscarriage in week 12, baby has stopped developing before week 8. I got some medicine to get every out and we started trying again. Conceived again on third cycle but miscarried again at 6 weeks. Had some fertility tests that showed AMH of 0.8. Have tried for two more cycles and not conceived. Hubby is 40. Starting to feel really stressed about this and taking all sorts of egg quality supplements. Have also made hubby take spearm quality supplements. Given my age and that my fertility seems to have rapidly decreased since my first child, should I go straight to IVF or keep trying?

In your exact situation I'd go straight to IVF. I went to IVF 'earlier' than normal but felt so much comfort in the fact we were actively moving forward (as neither of us getting any younger!) the risk of waiting for me outweighed the cost / 'discomfort' of IVF.

Yes I'd go straight to ivf if you can afford it as you won't be eligible for treatment on the NHS but bear in mind many clinics have a cut off for AMH below which they won't offer treatment so you may need to search around

Thank you very much! We can afford ivf and have a first appointment scheduled in 2 weeks to start that process. As you say, rather start a bit too soon than too late. Was IVF successful for you?

My ivf was successful - not immediately but we got there and I was surprised at how smooth the process was. I'd built it up to be absolutely all consuming (and of course for some it can be) the 'worst'
Part of it for me was the logistics of getting to the clinic - work was flexible but ultimately my ivf journey was a secret from work so I was lucky I can flex my own diary and catch up on calls and emails in coffee shops next to the clinic.

Apologies for my ignorance, but what would IVF actually do? I mean you are clearly ovulating and DH has enough good quality spermicide to fertilise your egg. It's probably/possibly a chromosomal issue that means you are miscarrying, but most IVF doesn't actually test for that? Or does it?

*sperm not spermicide

It can. You can test embryos to understand if any have chromosomal issues so you can implant (theoretically against what they test for) healthy embryos.

IVF worked for me with unexplained infertility. All my results and my husbands were spot on but we couldn't get pregnant alone.

I’m thinking they could get more eggs out each month and perhaps indentify the best eggs/embryos and implant those? Just simply thinking increase chances as much as possible, but I’m not sure it would actually help.

IVF in itself ends up being 'diagnostic' in most cases so you end up with more tests / more ideas which can lead to pregnancy when TTC at home wouldn't have

Your best first step is finding a clinic and paying for a consultation. From personal experience (and done from friends who've shared their story) the clinics don't seem to be in this for money and will give you very honest tailored feedback as to what they perceive your chances of success being. Remember they want to keep up their success rates so they won't put you through the mill if they see no hope.

Thank you very much! We have an appointment in two weeks so I will ask for their honest opinion then. Also feel like the ivf process could take off some of the stress I’m feeling around this, like you put it in someone else’s hands and just go along.

That's what helped me. I'd gone through
Months of negative tests and I felt I was being proactive with IVF and that I was making progress constantly.

A good clinic won’t. The clinic I went to was absolutely in it for the money (incl overbilling!) and pressured me to keep trying again even after it was clear it could not work and could even be dangerous to me to continue.

Sorry to hear that. I’m afraid they will recommend me to keep trying at home (since I seem to fall pregnant quite often) but I’m so scared of losing time. Can’t believe I waited this long to try for #2.

I ended up doing 5 rounds of IVF in 18 months and it cost £35k - we had twins on the last go x