Jealousy after miscarriage and anxiety about TTC again

[Emmah120595]

Just over 3 weeks ago, and 2 weeks before our wedding day - me and my Husband lost twins at 9 weeks pregnant. I was having weekly scans due to bleeding from 5 weeks and we found out very early about the twins. Fast forward 4 weeks and both had no heartbeats anymore. I ended up heamoraging after miscarriage treatments.

The thought of TTC after loss is really making me anxious, I’m due my “normal” period soon and after then we will be trying. Is this feeling of worrying normal?

Did anyone else also have feelings of jealousy for other pregnant woman, including best friends that are pregnant at the same time? Of course over the moon that they are pregnant, but the thought of baby talk and pregnancy related chat when I see them is making me anxious

thank you

Yes, yes and yes. I also had a lot of anger for other pregnant women and this is going to sound really nasty but especially pregnant women that didn't 'take care of themselves' ie - if they were very overweight id be more annoyed by it as if feel like they were still being rewarded even after not following the 'how to fall pregnant' guidelines.

I have no advice really other than where it doesn't look odd for you to distance yourself in certain situations then do so. I would lay low and not communicate with certain people while I dealt with those feelings.

I still feel those feelings a little now though it is subsiding (I've had three loses now).

Anyway sorry for your losses and hope you find peace with things x

My sister is due in the next few weeks. We started trying at the same time. I had a miscarriage at 9 weeks recently. I am so so excited for her but there are pangs of jealousy. I'm worried I'll just cry when I see her baby the first time and ruin the moment.

I’m so sorry for your loss, but I can assure you your feelings are 100% normal. I had a miscarriage in January and have felt exactly as you do. Our close friends have a toddler, and it’s only recently that I’ve managed to spend time with them without ending up a sobbing mess by the time we get home.

Hi,

I haven’t got any advice but I just wanted to let you know I’m in the same boat as you. I had a missed miscarriage the end of feb and two people in work are also pregnant, both about twenty weeks now. I do get a pang of sadness when I see them and think that should be me. My husband says just be happy for them but it is hard, I’m nice to them but don’t talk about babies or anything with them- they were discussing buying prams the other day 😔.
Also about ttc, I haven’t had a normal period since the miscarriage so I have been putting off trying again. The thought of it happening again terrifies me.
Sorry there was no good advice- I just wanted to let you know you weren’t on your own and hopefully things get better 🤞🤞🙏

I am in the same boat of feeling jealous of other pregnant women or women with babies. It's so annoying because I seriously don't wanna feel this way. I lost my baby in Jan took off time from studying and feeel like I've failed twice over

Hi. I'm so sorry for your loss. I've lost my little baby (mmc) and it has been impossible to emotionally recover. I feel like people don't want to listen to me when I cry for my baby, so I just cry in bed when I am alone. My friend has also stopped talking to me and when I asked why I got told that I needed time and they didn't know what to say or do. That made it all even harder.

I've been TTC since then with no joy and my period is due in a couple of days. I can feel it's coming and I don't know how to handle it. I just hate my life at the moment. I just woke up of a dream where I was having my period again and couldn't stop crying.

Yes I get jealous of my friends and find it hard not to think about it. I find this community helpful because I see people going through the same journey and it makes me feel that sometimes it's ok not to be ok.

I send you all my support!