TTC after miscarriage (11 weeks)

[JeanieJ]

Hiya,
DH & I had been trying for 20 months and was diagnosed with unexplained infertility after loads of tests & a laprascopy.
We were just about to do IVF, when we finally got our first BFP in March. We saw a heartbeat at 6.5 weeks and everything seemed normal, we really thought we could finally leave our ttc days behind us.
Sadly, I just miscarried brutally at 11 weeks - it was really horrific & I felt confused & unsupported in the hospital. There was still a bit left, so I opted for D&C (expectant wasn't an option for me) .. but I didn't feel like the doctor explained the options properly to me and he seemed frustrated had I was confused (I hadn't slept in 36 hours and had lost alot of blood).
I was discharged as soon as the surgery was over, with just a note to do a pregnancy test in two weeks & to contact them if it's positive.
I'm still physically recovering from this (still bleeding & in pain) and the emotional trauma is deep.
I won't be ready to try for a while, but I want to know if anyone has conceived after miscarriage after long ttc journey to give me some hope?
We know we have IVF still available to us, but now im absolutely terrified of it as im afraid I'll miscarry again 😢

Hi @JeanieJ
Firstly I'm so sorry for your loss. Secondly I don't have any advice but I am in the same position as you (could have written that post) and the thought of starting TTC again is very difficult and now scary that I could miscarry again. I just wanted to tell you you're not alone and it is really awful to go through x

Thanks @Halsie
I'm sorry you've gone through this too 😢
I'm going to be 35 in a few weeks and I thought we had finally put those days behind us and would be welcoming our little one into the world in mid November.

To be dragged back to this point with the extra fear of miscarriage is awful. 😢
I feel quite hopeless and scared.
xx

Sorry both it's an awful thing to go through.

I suffered a mmc at nearly 11 weeks earlier this year. Had been ttc 18+ months.

I feel ready to ttc again but the fear of a mc will always be there but something I've had to learn to live with.
I can't have IVF but if you've been offered I'd go for it.

I just wanted to come here to say we’ve had some similar experiences. In the end our little one was IVF and it’s a hell of a lot less scary than miscarriage. You’ve done the hardest thing, if you need IVF trust me you won’t find it as hard. You will have the support of a team around you, and certainly for me it felt like the first time in the whole brutal experience that there was something proactive on our side.

sending you 💐

Sorry you had to go through that @Ellie5341 ... it's so awful 💕 I hope it doesn't take too long for you to conceive again 🤞🏻

Are those theories that you're more fertile after an mc true? I'm never convinced by this, but I suppose they offer some form of hope xx

Thankyou @Christmas6574347 💕💕💕
That does give me a bit of hope xx

I got pregnant after 16 months and had an early miscarriage. Then I got pregnant 6 months after that (clomid) and had another early miscarriage. Then I got pregnant 5 months after that (clomid) and had my DD 9 months later. Currently braving trying for a second and the fears of miscarriage are still there.

It's so hard, but there is still hope. Clomid was an option for me as I have PCOS, but my funding for IVF had just been approved as I had my 12 week scan with DD.

There’s some data behind the “more fertile after miscarriage” but really don’t let it get to you or push you before you are ready.

We were told by the gynaecologist that actually miscarriage and unexplained fertility were more linked than people realised and that it was quite likely the MCs we had were related to poor quality embryos, and that IVF would help with that too.

I don’t know if that helps you, but it made me feel more hopeful.

Hold on in there 💐

Thanks @Christmas6574347 and @findingsomeone
That does help a bit and gives me some hope.
Who knows, maybe we could get pregnant naturally again 🤷🏻 I just need the bleeding to stop now & for my periods to come back ... as well as to mentally adjust.
Throughout my whole hospital experience, I kept getting asked if it was an IVF baby, it sounded like it was something they expected from IVF ... which is what has stressed me out. Xx

No, no - don’t let that worry you. There is no research that suggests pregnancy outcomes are worse for ivf (when you adjust for multiples pregnancies, age and health of mother etc).

It might have been that your infertility consult notes were visible to them and they might have needed to check for medical reasons whether it was an ivf pregnancy. At 11 weeks you might still have been taking hormones to support the pregnancy for example.

It’s about 1 in 4 pregnancies that end this way. Although most don’t end as late as 11 weeks. You’ve had a rough time. Give yourself some space, lots of sleep, and eat lots of broccoli, dark chocolate and red meat to help your iron levels recover.

Thanks @Christmas6574347 💕💕
I have my preconception vitamins lined up again & iron is on the top. I deffo feel anaemic. I've lost so much blood.
Xx

Not yet but hopeful!

@Ellie5341 🤞🏻🤞🏻 I hope it works out for you.
I'm not sure when I'll be ready to try again, I think i just need time 💔 xx

Hi OP

So sorry for your loss OP

Yes, I have a positive story as conceived after a MMC. Scan at 12 weeks showed a foetal pole but pregnancy had not progressed and I also opted for a D&C after nothing happened naturally

I did unfortunately have a chemical pregnancy 2 months later, but then 4 months after that got a BFP and DS is now 13 😊

All the best - to all of you in this situation 💐

I miscarried at 11 weeks New Year's Day in January 2020. It was horrible, emotionally and physically. It took its toll on me and my body. It took me about 4 weeks to feel normal again as I had lots of cramping that lasted a while. I did fall pregnant again at the end of February and found out at the end of March. I went on to have a little boy in December 2020 and now I'm 38 weeks pregnant with our second.
Do take your time as it's very draining on you emotionally as much as physically. Best of luck x

Thanks @jackstini & @ilovemyboys3 for sharing your stories.
I really hope it isn't too long for me, although it took me so long to get pregnant in the first place, I'm a bit despondent about it.
I'm still sore from the D&C ... it was on Monday .... Im kinda surprised as there was only 15ml left after the MC ... but it's obviously taking a bit of time to heal
Xx

It's a really hard time physically and emotionally.

Get plenty of rest, take all support offered and you are already on top of your vitamins
Wishing you all the luck that I had after my MMC x

Thanks everyone for their messages.
Does anyone have any books they recommend for after a miscarriage?
Xx

I read and read loads of peoples stories on forums. I just googled mmc forum.

There are proper websites too.

I also think talking and sharing on here helped me massively too.
Do you talk to anyone you know about it?

I was so excited to get a bfp I shared with my closest friends who knew we had been ttc for so long and also a group of friends (not as close) as they were making plans for us for the summer so I had to be honest. Having the care from friends helped a lot.

But it's surprising how much strangers on here really can help x