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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

I have had a complicated miscarriage over Christmas - what now?Please help.

4 replies

shazzg · 07/01/2008 20:21

Hello.I just wanted to share my expernece as so many other brave ladies have done.I wondered whether puting it out there might help to deal with this....
I had a missed-m/c at 6 weeks (just b4 xms) and went home to let things happen naturally.I bleed so much that I ended up in hospital 3 times -had a blood transfusion the 2nd time and demanded a danc the third as couldn't take anymore.
Having had the op -I feel that the pregnancy is now over and atlast I have a chance to heal.I feel like i'v been mentally and physically run over by a bus - my only consolation is that the pregnancy was only 6 weeks so I'm not thinking of it as a baby more of a concept.Am I kidding myself? What can I doto heal the mental and physical pain?How long should I have ff work -have now had 6 weeks and realy dont feel ready to go back.
Any comments/advice/support welcome.Thankyou.

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berolina · 07/01/2008 20:30

I'm very sorry. I've had 3 mcs and 2 d&cs, but never any substantial physical trauma. Losing blood is going to make you feel dreadful - you may also be anaemic. Take as long as you need to recover.

Do not be afraid to grieve, and also don't worry if you don't feel the need to 'grieve' as such. Mc is a very strange type of loss, as what is lost is often so intangible, and everyone reacts differently - I even reacted differently each time.

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Ele08 · 07/01/2008 23:25

Shazzg so sorry to hear of your loss. i know what your going through as i also had a missed miscarriage just before xmas. I should have been 13 weeks but a scan showed my baby had died between 8 and 9 weeks. I chose to have a d and c.

You need to get your feelings out by talking to someone. I even lit a candle for my baby on the light a candle site and that made me feel a bit better. Dont try and make yourself think it wasnt a baby as you are just tying yourself in knots emotionally. Give your self time to grieve. Even if you do something to remember the child by so you can let go. Even if you go to the website and light a virtual candle for your baby you lost it might help you a little bit. As for work if you can still get sicklines off your doctor just go abck when you are reading. Whether its another week or so.

It is heartbreaking and hopefully we go on to have healthy babies after this which we hopefully will. Good luck and if you need someone to talk to, im here.

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Ele08 · 07/01/2008 23:27

I meant to say go back to work when you are ready!

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NatalieJane · 07/01/2008 23:33

No where near as physically traumatic as what you have been through, but I have just had (am still going through, I suppose), a MC. I was about 6 weeks as well.

It is only really just starting to hit me I think, I didn't know for sure I was pregnant, so I am finding it hard to come to terms with losing it before it even got started. Can not even imagine how much worse it is for those that knew they were pregnant.

If you ever need a shoulder, I am normally around somehwere xxx