A very rough few weeks - advice/stories

[Ms8804]

Hi I just wanted to write on here to vent and see if anyone is in a similar boat to me at the moment as I’m feeling quite isolated.

I’m 26 years old and my partner and I have been TTC for 1.5 years. We have had 4 early pregnancy losses (4/5 weeks each time) and just this last fortnight had a MMC at 9.5 weeks.
I started spotting (very light brown discharge) one day and ended up going to the ER where they couldn’t find a heartbeat anymore (had a healthy ultrasound with heartbeat at 7.5 weeks). We had to wait over the weekend to confirm the loss on the Monday. I thought I was miscarrying naturally as I had started bleeding and cramping more that morning so I said no to Misoprostal and the DnC when I was offered it and planned on letting it all happen at home. Cut to 5 days later where nothing has happened aside from slight cramping and light discharge still. It was very traumatic just waiting for it to happen only for it to not pass.
We ended up going to our GP who referred us to a Gyno that organised the DnC to be done on the Friday. I went in and had that done and felt so relieved that day thinking it was all over and now we could begin to heal.
Cut to Saturday night/all day Sunday, I was in EXTREME pain, contractions every 5 minutes and very light red bleeding. It got so bad I ended up back at the ER and had a CT scan and blood tests that showed I had retained products and endometritis (not endometriosis) so I was in hospital for two days on antibiotics where I passed (hopefully) the last of the tissue in hospital which was also very traumatic and awful but the nurses were all so lovely.
I’m home from the hospital now and still on 5X antibiotics every day for the next week. I’m still just trying to process the last 2 weeks of our life.
Has anyone else gone through something similar and still gone on to have a healthy pregnancy?
We have a referral to a fertility specialist and a local gyno that wants to look into all of this for us but I am looking for some more personal stories to share with.

Cherry on top of our situation was my partner and I both catching co vid in the hospital so we haven’t been able to see our friends and family since leaving the hospital, feeling very sorry for ourselves.

Any help or stories of your own would be great, I’m just feeling very isolated and struggling to process everything at the moment xx

I am so sorry for your losses. I don't have any positive experience to share but didn't want to read and run. I have been through 2 losses and going through a third currently I totally understand the feeling of isolation it is such a difficult type of grief to carry. Sending you healing thoughts.

So sorry for everything you've been through - it sounds like you've had a really hard time. And I can't imagine how difficult it is to lose your first pregnancies and to have no idea whether your body can actually carry a baby successfully - I've had 3 miscarriages (9 weeks, 6 weeks and currently going through one at 12 weeks) but I'm lucky enough to have two children.
I have to say, for me by far the hardest part of miscarriage is the waiting at home, without support, for something to happen, and that awful feeling of "what if it's actually ok?" when you know really it's not. Even though my current miscarriage is later the fact I've been booked straight in for D&C has made it mentally so much less traumatic.

The good news is that you've been referred for investigations, which will either tell you something is wrong (most likely something which can be sorted out) or that nothing is wrong which could also be reassuring. You also have youth on your side - maybe you could try to put trying to conceive at the back of your mind for a few months while you wait for the hospital investigations? Easier said than done I know.

It might be worth getting in touch with the Miscarriage Association - maybe call their helpline and even if they can't help in a concrete way you might just feel a bit more listened to and supported.

Best of luck and hope you start to recover soon both from the recent miscarriage and Covid.