You can probably see where this is going through my post history. Apart from DH I feel like I can't talk to anyone about this so I'm sorry for the length. I just need to get it out.
I have been cramping and spotting in increasing severity for most of this week. My period has been irregular recently, and DH and I have only been having sex sporadically, so I didn't think to do a test until a couple of days ago. And although the test was positive, I was worried about the cramping and spotting (light but constant dark brown staining and clots), and the fact that the only other symptom I had was sore boobs. I had a termination 10 years ago, and with that pregnancy, felt nauseous all the time.
I went to the early pregnancy unit this morning and we couldn't see any sign of pregnancy except for a thickened lining. The very lovely nurse kindly explained that this is either the sign of a very early pregnancy, or that I've miscarried. And that unfortunately, with all my other symptoms and sex life etc, it's likely that I've miscarried.
We will compare blood samples over the next 48 hours. I am due back at work this afternoon. I've had a cry and given myself some time alone. Part of me, a stupid part, feels like maybe my body knew i wasn't quite ready and that this is my signal to live more healthily. I have fat to lose, I had been vaping, I had been having a few drinks on the weekend, etc.
It just hurts that I couldn't keep it and I suppose that I won't know until we try again if I can have one that I can keep one day.