Unsettling gut feeling

[angelbabymomma]

Hi everyone! I'm new here (kind of) but have been reading threads for many years.

I've been crying my eyes out for the past two days and here's why:

I fell pregnant with my first early last year, I suffered a silent mc at estimated 10+5 weeks and was told this at my 12 week scan.
My partner and I decided to try to let the mc pass naturally (as suggested by our obgyn), but to no avail. I was admitted to the hospital where they attempted a medicinal mc, it didn't work for two days - but with the final dose the pregnancy came out. When they did my ultrasound they saw my endometrium was still very thick and I had to be operated.
The next day they let me go home (without giving me another ultrasound).
Three weeks later I got violently ill and was rushed to the hospital with an extreme fever and a blood infection. Safe to say they did not get everything out with the surgery and things had started... rotting... inside me. I was operated yet again and treated for my infection.

My partner and I had been trying to conceive since august 2021, with no luck. I was starting to worry as there could've been scarring in my uterus from the surgeries.

But a week ago we were happily surprised to find out that I am now pregnant with our second child (4+1 as of writing this). I have generally been happy, but the past two days I have had a horrible gut feeling that something is wrong with this pregnancy. I'm not sure if I could be right or if I'm just paranoid due to trauma.

Has anyone experienced a mc and the same gut feeling/paranoia in the next pregnancy? (I would like to hear all stories and outcomes- good and bad)

Sincerely,
a worried momma.

Hey there,
Im so so sorry for your loss. I feel everything you’ve said in this post right in my heart xxxxx
I’m currently covering from a very similar situation to you. MMC at 9.5 weeks that wouldn’t pass naturally so I ended up having a DnC that led to a uterine infection and I’ve been in and out of hospital on antibiotics.
This was my 5th miscarriage and I completely understand how you feel. You want with everything fibre of your being to be excited but your mind just won’t allow you. I find reminding myself that I’ve been through something very traumatic and my brain and soul is still recovering and having a hard time catching up with reality is completely normal. Being gentle with yourself and crying as much as you need to and talking about it to loved ones is all we can do while we wait.
It could be the one that sticks so try to allow a bit of light into your heart when you feel ready for it, we’ve been robbed of so much already ♥️
The unknown is so fucking terrifying and I wish I could give you something that could take the anxiety away but I’m still trying to work this all out for myself.
Just wanted you to know you’re not alone.
Wishing you nothing but the best xx

It's trauma. Everytime I go into an US room I'm convinced it's going to be bad news. 3 so far and all have been good news. Just be kind to yourself and try and keep yourself distracted. You've been through alot.

Once you've had a m/c, particularly as traumatic as yours, the innocence around pregnancy is gone.
I didn't feel safely pregnant for a long time with my (successful) pregnancy. It was a worrying time..
Can you hold tight for a few more weeks and maybe get a scan?

@Ms8804

Hey there, Im so so sorry for your loss. I feel everything you’ve said in this post right in my heart xxxxx I’m currently covering from a very similar situation to you. MMC at 9.5 weeks that wouldn’t pass naturally so I ended up having a DnC that led to a uterine infection and I’ve been in and out of hospital on antibiotics. This was my 5th miscarriage and I completely understand how you feel. You want with everything fibre of your being to be excited but your mind just won’t allow you. I find reminding myself that I’ve been through something very traumatic and my brain and soul is still recovering and having a hard time catching up with reality is completely normal. Being gentle with yourself and crying as much as you need to and talking about it to loved ones is all we can do while we wait. It could be the one that sticks so try to allow a bit of light into your heart when you feel ready for it, we’ve been robbed of so much already ♥️ The unknown is so fucking terrifying and I wish I could give you something that could take the anxiety away but I’m still trying to work this all out for myself. Just wanted you to know you’re not alone. Wishing you nothing but the best xx

This was very comforting in a bizarre sense. Do you mind if I ask you whether or not you've had any successful pregnancies or just the 5 miscarriages? Sending you all the love

and thank you to everyone else who answered!

@Beamur

Once you've had a m/c, particularly as traumatic as yours, the innocence around pregnancy is gone. I didn't feel safely pregnant for a long time with my (successful) pregnancy. It was a worrying time.. Can you hold tight for a few more weeks and maybe get a scan?

I have an appointment on the 16th. I'll try to hold back on being too nervous until then :/

I'll keep everything crossed for you! I had a m/c at about 7 weeks and then I suspect another but very early, I hadn't tested yet.
My third pregnancy is now 15 years old but I do still think about the previous ones.

@angelbabymomma I'm 26 and have been trying for 1.5 years with no successful pregnancies. Hoping to find answers in the next few weeks. It's a long old journey but it will be worth it in the end I hope xx for all of us

Sorry for your loss.

I had a mmc at 9 weeks.

I got pregnant again and felt very nervous especially in the early stages.

I was able to have a reassurance scan at about 10 weeks.

I went on to have 3 successful pregnancies - the worries throughout them come and go from early loss to thinking there haven't been any movements that day.

I wish you all the best.