Threads

See more results

Topics

Usernames

Mumsnet Logo
Please
or
to access all these features

I'm just not coping at all
5

OopsImDoingItAgain · 27/03/2022 23:26

I lost my baby on Monday. I'm heartbroken, in pain, my boobs feel close to exploding my milk seems to be going nowhere, the bleeding is still there but easing but it burns and hurts when I wee I'm worried what's happened has caused an infection. It felt like everything stopped for a few days but now everything's going back to normal and I'm not there yet I feel so far away. I should be about to have my 20 week scan and being excited for that not waiting for cremation details and post mortem results. It all feels so wrong. I'm in total denial and keep having moments where I convince myself maybe it'll be ok and I'm still pregnant when I gave birth to my dead baby just days ago and I know that. Everyone around me keeps saying I'm being so strong. I'm falling apart I feel like I have said enough so now when people ask if I'm ok I just say thank you. I'm posting here just so my head doesn't explode. I have a house full of flowers and cards and I know people care but I just feel angry and robbed and so fucking sad. I don't want to act like a victim I know I need to move on but I feel like a victim

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

OopsImDoingItAgain · 27/03/2022 23:29

I've had three cards all saying that he is in a better place, no he isn't, he should be safely growing back with me until he's ready to be in my arms. To come home. To meet his big brother, nothing about him being dead is better, he's meant to be here Sad

OP's posts:
Please
or
to access all these features

Loginmystery · 27/03/2022 23:35

I’m so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine trying to get through such a tragic time. Fortunately we somehow always manage to get through no matter how terrible things feel at the time. I hope you can have some peace of mind soon. I can imagine the cards saying he’s in the best place, though well meaning, must be very upsetting. People just say the wrong things when they desperately want to comfort you.
I’m so sorry for your loss.

Please
or
to access all these features

shivermetimbers77 · 27/03/2022 23:39

I’m so sorry for your loss OP, it’s utterly unimaginably shit and unfair, and something nobody should ever have to go through. You have every right to feel whatever you feel, for as long as you need to feel it. I hope you have people around you who are taking care of you.

Please
or
to access all these features

acquiescence · 27/03/2022 23:44

I’m so sorry OP, and so sorry you have had such insensitive cards. Of course your baby isn’t in a better place.

I haven’t had a pregnancy loss but have lost an older child. It will get easier one day, but the grieving is real and the pain will have to be endured to get to this place. I found books about learning to grieve helpful. Look after yourself and don’t see people who don’t make you feel supported. There is no need to put on a brave face.

Your baby is and was real and your feelings are valid. Lots of love to you.

Please
or
to access all these features

Kitkat247 · 31/03/2022 12:37

Hi
I lost my baby girl on the 17th and gave birth to her on the 19th. We had a tfmr at 26 weeks because our little girl had a serious heart defect that turned out to be caused by a chromosome disorder. It was the most heartbreaking choice, we had conceived through IVF and I never thought I would make that decision but the two together meant our daughter probably wouldn't live for very long and if she did survive she'd had serious mental and physical disabilities and need lifelong heart surgeries.
Today is her funeral. It's also 6 weeks since my 22 week midwife appointment, the last happy day we had. And it should have been my 28 week appointment this morning. It's so difficult to think of the what should have been.
I can't make this better for anyone but I wish I could. I feel your pain, it's a loss like no other. You can only move at your own pace. People will place expectations on you to move on and these are unfair.
Some days I feel like I'm drowning but when I tell professionals they tell me how well I'm doing because I make myself get up everyday and get showered and dressed. They see me as coping because of this and they sadly just aren't listening to me.
I just wanted to know you're not alone, you and your little boy matter. His place in this world and in your family will always matter.

Please
or
to access all these features
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.