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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

Find support and share your experiences on our Miscarriage forum. See also legal rights and support after baby loss.

10 week miscarriage

4 replies

Peps4 · 27/03/2022 11:27

My husband and I have been trying for over 2 and a half years to get pregnant and it just wasn’t working. Endless false hopes with missed or late periods which all ended in negative pregnancy tests.
At the start of this year we decided to try IVF, after a disappointing round with only 5 eggs collected and 1 embryo for transfer we kept everything crossed and on the 9th Feb- at 4:30AM!- I got my BFP. It was one of the best moments of my life and I thought that finally we were going to start our longed- for family.
I booked a 9 week scan, eager to see how the little one was doing and to our horror the scan didn’t look at all like we expected, the sonographer suggested it was skin edema and advised us that she has seen it before and that is could clear up…. We went for a second opinion that afternoon as we couldn’t believe it to be true and wanted to try a more reputable place - the heartbeat was strong- 186bpm- and he/she was the right size for 9 weeks but there was still some fluid around the baby. We were advised to go return a week later for a harmony test to rule out any chromosomal abnormalities and were told we had a 50% chance that it would all clear up.
On Friday we returned to the clinic after a sleepless and agonising week to find that I had suffered from a Missed Miscarriage- there was no heartbeat 😣😔.
Devastated doesn’t even cut it. I am now desperately waiting for an appointment to have the pregnancy surgically removed as I am frightened of going through a miscarriage at home. I am still in utter shock and desperately, desperately upset.
I am 34 and aware that my age is creeping up and it only gets harder as we get older especially as we found getting pregnant naturally so so tough- sex became a total chore which shouldn’t be how it is.
This message is very long so apologies but I wanted to give the full picture to explain how much this baby meant to us, our lives feel shattered now. I feel totally broken and don’t know how I am going to to pick myself up, recover and get back to normal. So many of my friends have babies and I live in London which is just full of mothers and babies in prams.
With today being Mother’s Day it feels particularly tough. Any advice as to how to cope with this devastating loss and fear of natural miscarriage would be so welcome. I know I am not alone from so many other threads on here and just wanted to reach out. Thank you x

OP posts:
Ergs20 · 27/03/2022 13:31

Oh my love, I am so so sorry you're going through this. I am struggling today too - mother's day is a brutal time to be having to deal with this. I don't have any advice, but didn't want to not respond to your post. Thinking of you, and sending hugs Flowers xx

Peps4 · 27/03/2022 14:10

Thank you so much @Ergs20. Sending love to you too and here’s to getting through the day. Thank you for responding to me, means a lot x

OP posts:
FfayeN · 01/04/2022 19:44

@Peps4
Hi lovely. I am hoping you've not found the last few days too unbearable, I'm still recovering from my 3rd pregnancy loss so I know how you feel. It may be worth looking into the book 'it starts with the egg' and potentially get some tests done by your GP for thyroid levels, basic bloods and hormone profiles etc. i have found throwing my time into looking into why I have potentially suffered these losses really helpful and given me hope. I'm now looking at further tests in relation to autoimmune diseases and natural killer cells (as my thyroid is under active I think this is the cause). Happy to talk if you need to reach out at any point. I really wish you a smooth journey through the next few weeks. xxx

Peps4 · 01/04/2022 22:19

@FfayeN Hello, thank you for your message and your support. It means so much, I have felt so sad and so low for the past few days. My family and friends are all so supportive but they don’t really understand the pain and loss as they (thankfully) have never been through it.
I am so sorry to hear you have had three miscarriages, you are so strong and brave and I really value your advice and guidance. Thank you so much for taking the time to contact me. I will look into the book and also seek out those tests, I am determined to be a mother- it is what I have always wanted, above any career successes! I fear it could be a long road ahead but I need to find the strength to face it.
Wonderful to feel I am not alone. Thank you
Xxx

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