My husband and I have been trying for over 2 and a half years to get pregnant and it just wasn’t working. Endless false hopes with missed or late periods which all ended in negative pregnancy tests.
At the start of this year we decided to try IVF, after a disappointing round with only 5 eggs collected and 1 embryo for transfer we kept everything crossed and on the 9th Feb- at 4:30AM!- I got my BFP. It was one of the best moments of my life and I thought that finally we were going to start our longed- for family.
I booked a 9 week scan, eager to see how the little one was doing and to our horror the scan didn’t look at all like we expected, the sonographer suggested it was skin edema and advised us that she has seen it before and that is could clear up…. We went for a second opinion that afternoon as we couldn’t believe it to be true and wanted to try a more reputable place - the heartbeat was strong- 186bpm- and he/she was the right size for 9 weeks but there was still some fluid around the baby. We were advised to go return a week later for a harmony test to rule out any chromosomal abnormalities and were told we had a 50% chance that it would all clear up.
On Friday we returned to the clinic after a sleepless and agonising week to find that I had suffered from a Missed Miscarriage- there was no heartbeat 😣😔.
Devastated doesn’t even cut it. I am now desperately waiting for an appointment to have the pregnancy surgically removed as I am frightened of going through a miscarriage at home. I am still in utter shock and desperately, desperately upset.
I am 34 and aware that my age is creeping up and it only gets harder as we get older especially as we found getting pregnant naturally so so tough- sex became a total chore which shouldn’t be how it is.
This message is very long so apologies but I wanted to give the full picture to explain how much this baby meant to us, our lives feel shattered now. I feel totally broken and don’t know how I am going to to pick myself up, recover and get back to normal. So many of my friends have babies and I live in London which is just full of mothers and babies in prams.
With today being Mother’s Day it feels particularly tough. Any advice as to how to cope with this devastating loss and fear of natural miscarriage would be so welcome. I know I am not alone from so many other threads on here and just wanted to reach out. Thank you x