2nd MC and struggling

[Yurts223]

This will be a long post, but I feel I have nowhere else to voice my thoughts..
Just over a week ago I experienced my 2nd MC in 6 months, trying for baby 1 so no living children.
I was okay in the first work post surgical management, went back to work for one day and it’s just hit me hard this week. After seeing family members with their new born I’m just envious of the life they are leading. A close friend having her 20 week scan - not wanting to be insensitive to me but the reminder is insensitive enough.
I just feel empty, numb and like I’m purely existing through the days for nothing.

I have nothing to look forward to, we said we’d take a few months off from TTC but I feel the only thing that will help me feel like me again is to have a baby but I am terrified of a 3rd MC it will break me.

I haven’t felt like myself since I first found out I was PG and I don’t know how I will ever feel happy again. The amount of effort it takes to get out of bed in the morning is crazy, I’m just struggling and don’t know where to turn.

I have rang the GP for advice and will be referred for counselling but I can’t see anything helping till I have my own baby safely in my arms. I’m not a nice person to be around and just feel like I’m a misery. It’s a very lonely and isolating place to be with only yourself to be able to pull you from it without knowing how.

I’m sorry for your losses. MC is so hard, especially when you have people close to you who have, or are due to have, a baby.
Tommy’s have midwives trained in bereavement support, and there are threads where you can connect with others who have experienced loss, who know exactly how you are feeling.

So sorry
www.tommys.org/baby-loss-support?gclid=CjwKCAjwrfCRBhAXEiwAnkmKmbux8QtozDGhVF-D1rAjzYh7EyTyMyFj6ogwdO3l65zoD7XVWhtcKhoC94kQAvD_BwE

www.tommys.org/baby-loss-support/miscarriage-information-and-support/support-after-miscarriage/your-feelings-and-emotions-after-miscarriage

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. Mc is awful and hugely misunderstood. The Tommy's website is great and as a pp says, they have trained midwives.
You don't have to make a set plan now - see how you feel regarding ttc. You might change your mind about having a break or might decide to take longer. I know what you mean - I was obsessed with ttc after mc despite being terrified of it happening again.
Take all the time you need 💐