Coping with other peoples pregnancies

[LittleMrsMama]

Just wondering if anyone else is struggling being around pregnant friends/hearing pregnancy announcements after a miscarriage? And any coping techniques?

My pregnant friend knows about my miscarriage, was so lovely sending flowers and a book etc and voiced that it must be hard for me to see her pregnancy progress after my loss. Of course I was polite and said i was happy for her mainly but of course her pregnancy is a reminder of my loss.

I feel like despite all the lovely things she's done, all she ever talks about is her pregnancy. I know it's a big deal for her and should be celebrated but i would just like a few non pregnancy related conversations. Most recently she's gone for a scan and shared pics etc (not a big deal) but then followed up with how relieved she is and that she always worries about the scans incase she's had a miscarriage. I didn't even know what to say to that.

Sorry to rant. Is it just me?

@LittleMrsMama it is not just you one bit! I am also struggling with the same thing as you right now. Hearing your close friends and family members say they are pregnant can be grief triggers and therefore produce strong hard emotional responses. Responses that you don’t want to have when your told something good about another person, but it happens because your mind is still healing from your loss. I do not have much advice for you right now becasuse this is all very raw for me too. Just this week I set boundaries with a friend who is pregnant saying that when we talk/text I need us to avoid the topics of pregnancy loss, pregnancy, and babies. We’ll see how that plays out. I also reached out to friends who I know have also had early pregnancy losses in the past and who have given me permission to talk to them about it, asking them how they handled people around them being pregnant. It was helpful just to talk to them and feel understood. I send you comfort and grace while you navigate this one of many challenges of pregnancy loss.

This is something I struggle with, a lot.

At some point it's a conscious choice, am I going to be happy for them or bitter and jealous of them. A new life is a great blessing, and I will be happy even if I have to force myself.

I'm giving vouchers as baby gifts though - cannot bring myself to browse little outfits. Also I reckon my friends would rather just pick stuff they like themselves.

It's definitely not just you. I'm so sorry My friend was like this too, well meaning but oblivious. It's so hard x

My colleague, friend, and now my jobshare have all recently shared their expectant news. We would have all been due the same month, the 3 of them still are. I'm really struggling with it, having it flaunted all around me that which I have lost. Which then flashes my mind back to the thing I wish I could un-see. I really hate this.