Time off work?

[DragonflyPool]

Hi all,

My first miscarriage was finally confirmed by a second internal scan on Monday. The embryo stopped growing at six weeks, but I was almost eleven weeks before any significant bleeding started.

Fortunately (if such a word can be used in this context), we found out that sac had already passed naturally, and there is just some lining and other things still to come out.

I was wondering how much time people took off work following their miscarriage. My job involves lots of heavy lifting and a long commute so I’m reluctant to go back too soon. I’m a bit wobbly emotionally, but it’s the fatigue, cramps and back pain that I’m still struggling with. Without knowing that the miscarriage has completely finished, I’m worried about being so far from home. The physical pain last weekend was excruciating.

My GP signed me off for four weeks (I also self-certified for a week after my first scan). Does a total of five weeks seem too much? Is it harder going back if you’re off for longer?

Im so sorry for your loss. I had a missed miscarriage about 18 months ago, went for a scan at 10 weeks and found out I was pregnant with twins but they had both stopped developing at 6 weeks. I had to get medical management as nothing had passed and I wasn't even bleeding at all. I got a 2 week sick line from when I first found out, then happened to have a weeks annual leave after that (pre booked as it was my 30th birthday- not exactly how I planned to spend my 30th). So I had 3 weeks off in total...but in hindsight I wish I had taken more because it really affected me both emotionally and physically. Take as long as you feel you need and take care of yourself.

You poor thing, big hugs. If the doctor has signed you off for four weeks then that’s what you should take, and the self-certifying on top, it is a physical and emotional strain and you have a tough job and commute. Really look after yourself and rest and listen to your body. Hope you feel better soon but look after yourself right now.

Im sorry to hear of your miscarriage.

It really depends on the individual. I've realized from Mumsnet that some women take a long time off work even when they miscarry very early into their pregnancy. It depends how it effects you.

I miscarried at 12 and went back to work 6 days later. My job did involve lifting but was not an overly physical job. I also drove a lot for work. I much preferred to be busy and felt well enough. The thing that helped me was that my colleagues and employer were fantastic. Everyone was kind to me and they were all happy for me to see how it went. I would have been able to go home early if I had needed to. Apart from keeping busy I appreciated my colleagues company. Quite a few told me about their miscarriages which I found reassuring somehow.

I would have hated staying at home. I don't know what I would have done and I'm sure I would have felt a lot worse and would have dwelled on the miscarriage.

Do you have to decide how long you have off now? Can you see how it goes.

@Pineapples9087 Sorry to hear of your loss too. The waiting is horrible. I understand the crappy timing; it’s actually my 34th birthday today (groan). I was hoping to have my 12 week scan around this time, not endless trips to Tesco for more pads and painkillers! I hope you managed to enjoy your 30th birthday as much as you could.

@Mediumred Thank you for the reassurance. I’m worried that my workplace will be less understanding if I have another miscarriage in the future. After I first sent my sick note in, my boss was quite touchy, saying that my colleagues would need to be told the details of why I would be off so long. She did change her response after I explained (in writing) that I had no legal requirement to tell colleagues, but it does make me uneasy about staying off. My workplace can be quite toxic and gossipy; I don’t want something so personal to become office gossip.

@TricksAnd I’m glad your colleagues were so supportive. I can see how a distraction would help.

I have just under three weeks left to go. I’ll probably go back once the physical pain and tiredness have lessened a bit. Hopefully that won’t be too much longer!

That sounds like a good plan OP. You can see how it goes.

I hope you feel better soon.