Hello everyone!
So, I’ve read a few threads here that have been helpful where I’ve had some horrible situations. I’m coming here for a couple of reasons, 1, to share my stories in the hope it may help others. 2, to hear others’ stories who are willing to share. And 3, to see if anyone knows methods to help manage anxiety!
If I start at the beginning with Pregnancy 1. It took me 9 months to get pregnant, which of course makes you worry there is a problem. I was delighted and although everyone around me seemed to have a miscarriage, I was positive in my body’s ability to make a baby etc.
July 2021, 6 week viability scan - irregular gestational sac with no fetal pole determined pregnancy of an unknown location. Of course, I had no idea what to take from this, no bleeding etc. in hindsight, knowing what I know now, the irregular gestational sac (whilst I’m no doctor) was a clear sign of non viability. One week later, scan confirms a missed miscarriage. I walked away because I didn’t want to deal with it all, thinking my body would sort it out. That was silly, and I ultimately had a medical miscarriage. Oh my goodness, I can’t dress down the pain. The antibiotics 48 hours ahead made me VERY ill and then actual miscarriage can be said to have been the most painful experience of my life, utterly excruciating pain. Thankfully, it was over quite quickly but I had heavy bleeding for 3 weeks afterwards and my body had a turn after 2 weeks where effectively it all came again (pain etc) where my body obviously realised I hadn’t gotten rid of all the tissue 
Forward wind to pregnancy 2, September 2021, 5 week scan confirmed location. What was odd was that by dates, I should have been over 6 weeks at this stage.
What should have been 7 weeks and 5 (based on period), showed a 6 week 3 baby with a heartbeat - happy days, or so I thought. It was all a bit odd, late implantation bleeding, faint line on pregnancy test when o found out etc. I’ve never heard of a situation where everything just happens late, but it did and all seemed ok.
Decided to have an 8 week scan noting risk of MC goes down to 2% at this stage and to calm my nerves. Showed no growth from 6 weeks and 3 - fetus was brachycardic- she located heartbeat on an internal scan but it was faint. The NHS’ answer was just wait for your 12 week scan!! Thankfully, my midwife made the early pregnancy unit book me one at 10 weeks. I can’t explain how those 2 weeks with no / little hope felt… especially not when you think “hey, it went wrong before but that’s perfectly normal, now’s my time”. Just ugh.
Come 10 weeks, no heartbeat. Miscarriage 2, yippee (sarcastic of course). This was early November 2021. This time, it was a lot slower (took about 4 hours overall) and for some reason my blood pressure fell through the floor (75/39). It was grim, but if the pain was 10/10 time one, it was 7/10 this time, for which I was very grateful. Also, the overall experience wasn’t as terrible as previously physically.
So, between 1&2, I only had one period, I.e. I got pregnancy very quickly. The worst part is a family member was pregnant, day after my first scan showing anomaly, they turned up all happy with 10 week scan…
Second miscarriage, whilst I didn’t have a concrete answer between 2 scans, it was my birthday, I had to cancel my own birthday lunch as they would be there and I didn’t want to deal with it at the time.
Forward wind, they welcome their bundle of joy. I wanted to be so happy for them, truthfully, I have been, it just reminds me of my own sadness of which they have no clue… so here I am, plodding along trying to distance myself to protect myself, whilst also being happy for them and wanting to be closer / give more of myself - a mess…
So, we are now on pregnancy number 3. I found out Jan 31st, no weak line on test (which was done two days before period due - long story) a nice strong positive. Immediately, I get in touch with my midwife (who likes to not talk to me) so I end up talking to a really helpful lady at the early pregnancy unit re any tests I can have / anything I can do to make this one go right.
This lady, was amazing! She told me all about thyroid issues, sticky blood, chromosomal abnormalities etc.
Now, I know (as probably everyone does here) the NHS won’t intervene until you’ve lost 3 babies.
Importantly, she told me about progesterone therapy and the new NICE guidelines which say if you’re bleeding and have a history of miscarriage, you should be given progesterone pessaries @ 400mg twice a day which NICE believe could prevent over 8000 miscarriages per year.
Specifically, the study between 2 groups of people having lost 3 or more pregnancies showed a 15% difference of live births between those who took progesterone and those who didn’t across a large sample.
My issue was that I hadn’t been bleeding. So I went to see a private Gynae Obstetrician for bloods (this didn’t work as I am needle phobic and my vein collapsed) and he had no hesitation with putting me on progesterone pessaries, which I have now been taking since 4.5 weeks. If you can scrape the money together, getting seen privately is something I highly recommend, but I would warn the private prescription is expensive. Also, a word of caution, you should ensure you have a 5 week scan to confirm the pregnancy is correctly located as additional progesterone can be dangerous for ectopic pregnancies.
I’d also warn that if you need to get it from your GP (which I also have), they can be very awkward about prescribing it as it’s a new guidance. The consultant also told me to take 150mg of Asprin daily.
So now I am at 7 weeks and 5 with a scan showing a strong heartbeat, further than I ever got before and my dates are completely aligned.
Today’s sonographer poo pooed my idea of having weekly scans through to 12 weeks as a method of managing my own anxiety. He says it’s not recommended as whilst no studies back this up, it may be dangerous. I’ve never heard this before, has anyone had weekly scans and been ok?
I will listen to advice and minimise my scans as I don’t want to cause any harm, but I do struggle with anxiety, it’s hard to believe that everything will be ok after my 2 bad experiences - I just can’t bring myself to believe it’s all going to be ok - how have others coped with similar?
I hope that sharing my story can serve to help other people who may be going through similar situations and I would be very interested to hear others stories if you are willing to share 