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Miscarriage/pregnancy loss

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Miscarriages

11 replies

Dreams2727 · 27/02/2022 13:31

Hello everyone!

So, I’ve read a few threads here that have been helpful where I’ve had some horrible situations. I’m coming here for a couple of reasons, 1, to share my stories in the hope it may help others. 2, to hear others’ stories who are willing to share. And 3, to see if anyone knows methods to help manage anxiety!

If I start at the beginning with Pregnancy 1. It took me 9 months to get pregnant, which of course makes you worry there is a problem. I was delighted and although everyone around me seemed to have a miscarriage, I was positive in my body’s ability to make a baby etc.

July 2021, 6 week viability scan - irregular gestational sac with no fetal pole determined pregnancy of an unknown location. Of course, I had no idea what to take from this, no bleeding etc. in hindsight, knowing what I know now, the irregular gestational sac (whilst I’m no doctor) was a clear sign of non viability. One week later, scan confirms a missed miscarriage. I walked away because I didn’t want to deal with it all, thinking my body would sort it out. That was silly, and I ultimately had a medical miscarriage. Oh my goodness, I can’t dress down the pain. The antibiotics 48 hours ahead made me VERY ill and then actual miscarriage can be said to have been the most painful experience of my life, utterly excruciating pain. Thankfully, it was over quite quickly but I had heavy bleeding for 3 weeks afterwards and my body had a turn after 2 weeks where effectively it all came again (pain etc) where my body obviously realised I hadn’t gotten rid of all the tissue Sad

Forward wind to pregnancy 2, September 2021, 5 week scan confirmed location. What was odd was that by dates, I should have been over 6 weeks at this stage.

What should have been 7 weeks and 5 (based on period), showed a 6 week 3 baby with a heartbeat - happy days, or so I thought. It was all a bit odd, late implantation bleeding, faint line on pregnancy test when o found out etc. I’ve never heard of a situation where everything just happens late, but it did and all seemed ok.

Decided to have an 8 week scan noting risk of MC goes down to 2% at this stage and to calm my nerves. Showed no growth from 6 weeks and 3 - fetus was brachycardic- she located heartbeat on an internal scan but it was faint. The NHS’ answer was just wait for your 12 week scan!! Thankfully, my midwife made the early pregnancy unit book me one at 10 weeks. I can’t explain how those 2 weeks with no / little hope felt… especially not when you think “hey, it went wrong before but that’s perfectly normal, now’s my time”. Just ugh.

Come 10 weeks, no heartbeat. Miscarriage 2, yippee (sarcastic of course). This was early November 2021. This time, it was a lot slower (took about 4 hours overall) and for some reason my blood pressure fell through the floor (75/39). It was grim, but if the pain was 10/10 time one, it was 7/10 this time, for which I was very grateful. Also, the overall experience wasn’t as terrible as previously physically.

So, between 1&2, I only had one period, I.e. I got pregnancy very quickly. The worst part is a family member was pregnant, day after my first scan showing anomaly, they turned up all happy with 10 week scan…

Second miscarriage, whilst I didn’t have a concrete answer between 2 scans, it was my birthday, I had to cancel my own birthday lunch as they would be there and I didn’t want to deal with it at the time.

Forward wind, they welcome their bundle of joy. I wanted to be so happy for them, truthfully, I have been, it just reminds me of my own sadness of which they have no clue… so here I am, plodding along trying to distance myself to protect myself, whilst also being happy for them and wanting to be closer / give more of myself - a mess…

So, we are now on pregnancy number 3. I found out Jan 31st, no weak line on test (which was done two days before period due - long story) a nice strong positive. Immediately, I get in touch with my midwife (who likes to not talk to me) so I end up talking to a really helpful lady at the early pregnancy unit re any tests I can have / anything I can do to make this one go right.

This lady, was amazing! She told me all about thyroid issues, sticky blood, chromosomal abnormalities etc.
Now, I know (as probably everyone does here) the NHS won’t intervene until you’ve lost 3 babies.

Importantly, she told me about progesterone therapy and the new NICE guidelines which say if you’re bleeding and have a history of miscarriage, you should be given progesterone pessaries @ 400mg twice a day which NICE believe could prevent over 8000 miscarriages per year.

Specifically, the study between 2 groups of people having lost 3 or more pregnancies showed a 15% difference of live births between those who took progesterone and those who didn’t across a large sample.

My issue was that I hadn’t been bleeding. So I went to see a private Gynae Obstetrician for bloods (this didn’t work as I am needle phobic and my vein collapsed) and he had no hesitation with putting me on progesterone pessaries, which I have now been taking since 4.5 weeks. If you can scrape the money together, getting seen privately is something I highly recommend, but I would warn the private prescription is expensive. Also, a word of caution, you should ensure you have a 5 week scan to confirm the pregnancy is correctly located as additional progesterone can be dangerous for ectopic pregnancies.

I’d also warn that if you need to get it from your GP (which I also have), they can be very awkward about prescribing it as it’s a new guidance. The consultant also told me to take 150mg of Asprin daily.

So now I am at 7 weeks and 5 with a scan showing a strong heartbeat, further than I ever got before and my dates are completely aligned.

Today’s sonographer poo pooed my idea of having weekly scans through to 12 weeks as a method of managing my own anxiety. He says it’s not recommended as whilst no studies back this up, it may be dangerous. I’ve never heard this before, has anyone had weekly scans and been ok?

I will listen to advice and minimise my scans as I don’t want to cause any harm, but I do struggle with anxiety, it’s hard to believe that everything will be ok after my 2 bad experiences - I just can’t bring myself to believe it’s all going to be ok - how have others coped with similar?

I hope that sharing my story can serve to help other people who may be going through similar situations and I would be very interested to hear others stories if you are willing to share Smile

OP posts:
LASandOtto · 27/02/2022 21:05

I am really sorry to read about your losses, and thank you for sharing your story.

My third pregnancy after two consecutive losses was successful but I was full of anxiety just like you. I think a referral to perinatal health and focusing on the here and now helped. I won't say I didn't worry, I did. Weekly scans can be reassuring but I do think the reassurances dissipates quickly and so, are probably only a short lived help.

It sounds like you've got some great support in terms of medical supervision right now and that can go a long way to providing comfort.

My third pregnancy I did what you did and saw a private consultant, I too was on a cocktail of medication including progesterone and aspirin and it made me feel much more secure that I was doing 'something' to help the pregnancy. My two miscarriages had also both included spotting and prolonged drawn out waiting times to confirm the miscarriages. Every day feels like it's a week long.

Beyond pregnancy, hoping it all works out for you, parenting is a non stop worrying cycle of trying to get it right. Take a deep breath, focus on now and enjoy the little daily wins. Another day of being pregnant and all going well. And so forth, step by step.

The strength is within you to get a handle on the anxiety and find coping mechanisms that work. Try different approaches and I'm sure there'll be more suggestions on here from others with their experiences and what helped them.

Dreams2727 · 28/02/2022 19:52

@LASandOtto

I am really sorry to read about your losses, and thank you for sharing your story.

My third pregnancy after two consecutive losses was successful but I was full of anxiety just like you. I think a referral to perinatal health and focusing on the here and now helped. I won't say I didn't worry, I did. Weekly scans can be reassuring but I do think the reassurances dissipates quickly and so, are probably only a short lived help.

It sounds like you've got some great support in terms of medical supervision right now and that can go a long way to providing comfort.

My third pregnancy I did what you did and saw a private consultant, I too was on a cocktail of medication including progesterone and aspirin and it made me feel much more secure that I was doing 'something' to help the pregnancy. My two miscarriages had also both included spotting and prolonged drawn out waiting times to confirm the miscarriages. Every day feels like it's a week long.

Beyond pregnancy, hoping it all works out for you, parenting is a non stop worrying cycle of trying to get it right. Take a deep breath, focus on now and enjoy the little daily wins. Another day of being pregnant and all going well. And so forth, step by step.

The strength is within you to get a handle on the anxiety and find coping mechanisms that work. Try different approaches and I'm sure there'll be more suggestions on here from others with their experiences and what helped them.

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply! It's hugely reassuring that your third has worked out too Smile It's just a juggling game, trying to work out how to manage the anxiety... I have a lot of work-related issues as well (couldn't have picked a better time) and my manager is picking on me something chronic - I have no idea why, he's just being awful, and had today been doing things to get a rise out of me, I've given no reaction (sorry I'm rambling, just really don't need it right now). So that, alongside the anxiety of being pregnant and praying everything doesn't go wrong, probably isn't helping me at all! Thank you for your kindness and suggestions too, I know I have inner strength, I think I just struggle to find it sometimes as this has been a major journey! In terms of private treatment, I only needed to see someone once thankfully, but it was Godsend. Like you said, just taking progesterone and aspirin makes me feel like I'm doing something to give this the best possible chance Smile
OP posts:
Ellie5341 · 01/03/2022 09:42

I could cry reading your stories.

Thank you @Dreams2727 and @LASandOtto your stories have given me hope.

I suffered a very drawn out mmc and ready to ttc again now but it's so daunting to think it could all happen again.

How much was your private cost if you don't mind me asking?
I have read so much about aspirin and progesterone helping and I'm also, like you ladies feeling I need to do more to help.

That's if we are lucky enough to conceive again.

LASandOtto · 01/03/2022 10:27

@Ellie5341

The cost was around £250 for a consultation with a private clinic, which I have to say was worth the expense as they provided us with a lot of info, options, and their suggestions. You can decide what you want to go with, and what you don't want to go with.

We had a 'budget' set aside and so had some money allocated to doing some tests.

I got pregnant before I was able to do any tests with the clinic but called them the day of my positive tests and they were so supportive, I was with them for 12 weeks for monitoring which included many blood tests, scans, medication prescribed, etc.

I felt like I was in capable hands!

I wish you all the best and lots of light at the end of the tunnel!

Sarah20201985 · 01/03/2022 10:51

Congrats on your good news, from what I have read success rate looks to be very high after seeing a strong heartbeat at 7+ weeks.

The progesterone study is fairly new, I was just told about it at the EPU by a gynae consultant. They said to call them as soon as I'm pregnant again and they will issue it to me (I've just had two missed miscarriages in a row, both times had very light early bleeding. I knew this can't be normal as with my first successful pregnancy nothing of the sort).

You don't need to go private for this and they will offer it before having 3 miscarriages in a row (even though the evidence is not as strong). Of course you have to be vocal and bang on a lot of doors when you want things from the NHS, in the private world it is much more freely handed to you.

I have no advice on managing anxiety, it will naturally be a little high as you haven't had a baby before either, but there are many success stories and you should be absolutely fine. I can't tell you to enjoy pregnancy massages at this stage (although I've always done them from early on, and no evidence to show a gentle one is dangerous). Good luck x

Dreams2727 · 01/03/2022 18:23

@Ellie5341

I could cry reading your stories.

Thank you @Dreams2727 and @LASandOtto your stories have given me hope.

I suffered a very drawn out mmc and ready to ttc again now but it's so daunting to think it could all happen again.

How much was your private cost if you don't mind me asking?
I have read so much about aspirin and progesterone helping and I'm also, like you ladies feeling I need to do more to help.

That's if we are lucky enough to conceive again.

OP posts:
Dreams2727 · 01/03/2022 18:28

@Sarah20201985

Congrats on your good news, from what I have read success rate looks to be very high after seeing a strong heartbeat at 7+ weeks.

The progesterone study is fairly new, I was just told about it at the EPU by a gynae consultant. They said to call them as soon as I'm pregnant again and they will issue it to me (I've just had two missed miscarriages in a row, both times had very light early bleeding. I knew this can't be normal as with my first successful pregnancy nothing of the sort).

You don't need to go private for this and they will offer it before having 3 miscarriages in a row (even though the evidence is not as strong). Of course you have to be vocal and bang on a lot of doors when you want things from the NHS, in the private world it is much more freely handed to you.

I have no advice on managing anxiety, it will naturally be a little high as you haven't had a baby before either, but there are many success stories and you should be absolutely fine. I can't tell you to enjoy pregnancy massages at this stage (although I've always done them from early on, and no evidence to show a gentle one is dangerous). Good luck x

Thank you so much for your kindness and positive affirmations about the dating Smile I am so sorry to hear of your losses Sad I am glad the doctors are looking after you. My GP told me I wasn't eligible for progesterone even though I told him I'd been bleeding (a white lie, I had a teeny bit but I'd already started the progesterone on a private prescription and I think it just irritated my cervix). I was ready to wage WWIII when he called back to say he was wrong, he obviously looked into it further!

I think the guidelines actually suggest you have to have bleeding if under 3 miscarriages, I personally think they should give it to anyone who's had a miscarriage but clearly I am biased!

I am wishing you all the best for a positive test and a successful pregnancy as soon as possible

OP posts:
Sophh04xo · 01/03/2022 18:31

Hi I recently missed my period and found out I was pregnant, a few days later at around 5 weeks I started bleeding. I called my gp who said it was a suspected miscarriage as the bleeding was heavier than spotting but couldn't confirm it 100% she said test again when bleeding stops and it should be negative. I've tested again today and it's positive. What now? All kinds of things going round my head x

Dreams2727 · 01/03/2022 19:38

@Sophh04xo

Hi I recently missed my period and found out I was pregnant, a few days later at around 5 weeks I started bleeding. I called my gp who said it was a suspected miscarriage as the bleeding was heavier than spotting but couldn't confirm it 100% she said test again when bleeding stops and it should be negative. I've tested again today and it's positive. What now? All kinds of things going round my head x
Hey lovely! Firstly I'm sorry you're going through this. Second, I don't agree with your GP, I'll caveat I'm not medically trained, but my first miscarriage took 3 weeks for a negative pregnancy test as there's still hormone in your system - the early pregnancy unit will tell you at least 2 weeks...

I'd recommend calling your local early pregnancy unit (usually in local hospital) - hopefully they'll book you in for a scan to determine one way or another.

Whilst bleeding can be a sign of miscarriage, in my experience, you pass more than blood when you physically miscarry I.e. sac, clots, tissue etc

Best of luck to you

OP posts:
Chanmoore · 07/05/2022 19:21

@Sophh04xo you sound like you’re at the same doctors as me! As that is pretty much word for word what they said to me!
tested positive Monday, Wednesday onwards negative on digitals and faint line tests.. period like pains from Thursday, bleeding started Friday.. not as heavy as my usual period, no clots, no tissue, no sac.. doctors rang me Friday and said suspected miscarriage, had bloods Friday and they rang me Friday evening to say my hcg was low but not as low as they expected but still think it’s a miscarriage, period cramps gone today, bleeding slowed also advised me to take another pregnancy test in 5-7 days and ring them and let them know🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m so lost I feel like I haven’t really been given any answers, not been offered any scans along with bloods to confirm miscarriage just got to wait it out :/

Mammytotwog · 26/01/2023 13:58

Hi my period was 10 days late I was woke up this morning at 4 with blood everywhere and been passing clots all morning just wondering if this tissue/clot looks like a miscarriage I will add a picture hope it doesn’t offend anyone thanks 😕

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