Husband won’t try again after miscarriage

[Emily6457]

Hi,

I recently suffered a miscarriage at 11 weeks, I was/still am completely devastated.

This baby was unplanned and I was over the moon. My husband wasn’t but he was ok with it.

Now he refuses to try again. He says he doesn’t understand why I am so unhappy when we have two children, why am I unhappy with them, why are they not enough? He seems to think we can just move on and life is the same as it always was. He says it was never a baby, it was early days and it’s very common. I get all of this but this doesn’t help my devastation.

Am I being selfish to want another?

I honestly feel like I will always be unhappy and wonder what if if we don’t try again. Of course I am eternally grateful for my two children, but that doesn’t ease the pain of loosing this one. I have told my husband I will never forgive him for not trying again!

Just after advice as I feel so lost and have no one to turn to. Xx

I'm really sorry for your loss.

If I've read this right, you weren't TTC and your DH was very lukewarm about the baby anyway.

He might have seen the miscarriage as a relief if he didn't actually want a third child.

Sadly for you though, his desire to not have another child trumps your desire to have one.

I suggest some counselling or other support to help you work through your loss.

I'm very sorry for your loss

I think it's too raw right now but an accidental pregnancy is not the same as a planned pregnancy and he doesn't want to have another child and never did. You wouldn't be trying again because you were never trying. He doesn't want to change that.