25 two healthy pregnancies daughters 5 and 2 followed by 3 consecutive miscarriages am I broken? :(

[imogen96xxx]

Hello! I have read these post for years and have finally joined as I need support with my heartache.

A bit about me I'm a mum of two I have a daughter who is 5 and another 2 from a previous traumatic abusive relationship.

I had a miscarriage in November 2020 (chemical) and felt sad but understood these things happened followed by another in November 2021 at 7 weeks and now I'm having my third at the moment 4+5. I started misscarrying on Wednesday.

I don't understand why this is happening why will my body allow me to become pregnant if I can't carry the baby. It's caused me so much distress and my relationship sadly fell apart last week. He lived with the mother of his child and it bothered me and he has now returned to living there full time after being with me every night for a year and just going there to see his son.

I'm a very big mess right now :(

I obviously want another baby in future and want to know if this is something I can offer someone if I get the chance to settle.

It happens, imogen. Seek the advice of your doctor who may refer you to an obstetrician to see if there is anything amiss but the chances are you were just unlucky.

You are very blessed to have two children already, remember that. Many people would be content with that.

@blyn72

It happens, imogen. Seek the advice of your doctor who may refer you to an obstetrician to see if there is anything amiss but the chances are you were just unlucky.

You are very blessed to have two children already, remember that. Many people would be content with that.

Thank you I really appreciate your kind words. I have an appointment on Friday and I'm going to call the gp after to get a referral just to see what's going on x

@imogen96xxx I'm so sorry for your losses. I'm glad that you are in a positive relationship now and have your girls but you still have every right to want to add to your family and to feel distressed by your losses.

Yes the next thing is to seek the advice of your GP and maybe specialist advice following that as you have had 3 consecutive miscarriages - that is the threshold for getting help from the NHS but you may have to push for it.

It may also worth checking out your partners sperm as some male conditions can also cause miscarriage. As you have had healthy pregnancies with a different partner this is worth discussing with the specialist when you see them. He would need a Comet or DNA fragmentation test but I would wait for that until you have taken a few basic steps first. I'm just mentioning it now as people often forget about the male side including some specialists!

Best of luck and sorry again for your losses x

Hi @imogen96xxx

I'm sorry for your losses - it sucks and it's frustrating.

I think the responses you have got here haven't been too helpful. Just because you have 2 children which many people would be grateful for, doesn't mean your feelings aren't valid. If you are wanting more children then you should get the support to do so. However, this might be limited if you already have children - for example if you need IVF you might need to pay for it.

I see you have broken up with your partner, personally I would concentrate on getting over this first. There may be tests the doctors can do but any treatment would most likely be with a view to get pregnant and I assume this isn't your plan now if you have broken up with your partner.

I think it's worth having a chat with your doctor to see what is available to you now, and in the future when you want to conceive again.

Thanks @czycoup for pointing this out. The OP started another thread at the same time and I didn't notice the information was different.

@imogen96xxx take some time to recover from this relationship as well as these losses. Xxx

Ask your gp for a referral to the recurrent miscarriage clinic. There's plenty of stuff they can test you for. You can't be pregnant when doing the tests (the pregnancy hormones would interfere with the results) so might as well get it done while you're apart from your partner.

I feel ancient compared to you! 25 leaves you with so much time to figure out whether something is wrong (there's plenty of stuff you can take medication for) and I'm sure you will have many more children if that is what you wish.

But in the meantime, big hugs, I'm sorry you're going through this tough time alone. If you feel brave enough to speak up, do - your friends and family have very likely either been through miscarriage too, or will go through it someday. Hope you get support. Xxx