I have been pregnant 9 times.

[Diditopknot]

But I have 2 children.

I have 7 lost babies, 7 horrendous losses of hope, extreme love and 7 times I experienced labour but never got to hold my child.

I no longer talk about my lost babies. No one seems to remember, care or be interested.
It’s done.

I want a reminder that my babies were once safe with me.

I’ve been thinking of a teeny tiny tattoo. I don’t have any tattoos.
Somewhere discreet. Something pretty, something special for my children.
What do you think?
Any suggestions as to what would be nice?

Hello lovely,
I'm so sorry for your losses. I've lost 7 too, one born sleeping and 6 miscarriages and one beautiful 7yo dd. I've looked at getting an 8 leaf flower or even an 8 leaf tree branch. I've considered 8 flowers all different, my babies birth month flower. A friend has 2 balloons in pink and blue for her babies. Have a look on Pinterest at memorial tattoos, some lovely ideas on there.

So sorry for your losses. I lost my very first pregnancy and my very last.
I console myself that if dc1 had survived I wouldn't have the pfb dd I have now.. And I never take for granted my many dc and their health and the love we share...embrace the dc you have op

They don't stay little or indeed at home long enough.

So sorry for your losses. I was surprised when I started to talk about my MCs how many women have had at least one.

As a suggestion for a tattoo - a spring of forget-me-nots?

*sprig

I'm so sorry OP. I'm pregnant for the 5th time, 1 DD, 3 losses. I chose to plant trees in memory of the babies we lost. I wanted something that gave life if that makes sense.

I am so sorry for your losses. I lost twins last year, they are called Emmy and Maddie so I have this tattoo on my wrist. I like being able to see it and think of them xx

I think it's a lovely idea.

I'm currently talking with a tattoo artist about what I want from my tattoo. I want two birds on a branch to represent my living children and 4 smaller birds flying above them to represent the 4 babies (3 miscarriages) that I lost.

I must admit that I talk about my lost babies whenever I can. No one else brings them up but they seem ok with me talking about them. They were part of me and I loved and desperately wanted them. I'm so sorry you have been through it so many times.

I’d also like to eventually get a really discreet tattoo commemorating my four that didn’t quite make it. I saw a lovely tattoo of birds on a perch. I like to think they’re all together somewhere now, just like your 7 are. Xxxx

@Diditopknot

I hope this link is of some comfort to you, very briefly it explains how you will always have a part of your children with you

arielmedicine.com/mothers-day-genetics-how-long-does-a-mother-carry-a-child/

How about stars for the tattoos, one for each child?

I’m now up to 5 miscarriages, 6 lost babies no live ones, and considering either a necklace or a bracelet with tiny birthstones for their due dates. I’m too much of a wuss for a tattoo but do think it’s a beautiful idea OP. Each month has an associated flower if that’s something you’d like?

Oh OP, I know how you feel. And I've been thinking the exact same thing in terms of a tattoo - how strange (and nice) to stumble upon this post!

I would like something permanently on my skin, however, I also have no tattoos and have no idea what to get. Sorry I'm not much help, but you are definitely not alone.

Oh gosh OP. I'm so sorry for your losses. And for the other losses on this thread. So much pain.

I think it's a lovely idea. I thought about something similar for myself.

I'm so sorry that you feel no-one remembers or cares. That sounds very painful. And lonely. I wonder if an in person support group would give you a place to talk about it. Or writing your feelings down.

I got a lot of support from this forum when I needed it. There were several long running threads which were incredibly supportive and it felt so much better to not have to explain. Because it was a shared experience. Maybe there are still some such threads?

@Crazylemon86 I'm sorry for your losses. That's a beautiful way to remember Emmy and Maddie.

Thinking of all on this thread and your little ones

@youtown I understand. Sometimes I feel so angry when I open threads about MC and read that the OP already has DC. However, I know im being irrational and it doesn't invalidate their loss, or validate mine. Pain is pain and loss is loss. I'm sad too. Know you're not alone. X

It's a shitty club to be in, isn't it? :(

@Sarah556 yes it is a shitty club for sure and sorry for your losses too.

Sorry OP I feel like my comment was a bit shitty, but it does just put me on more of a downer when I see people struggling but have DC.

Perhaps I should come off MN for a while.

Sorry xxx

Sure is. I found out on Thursday that my baby’s heartbeat had stopped, so I’m having surgery on Friday. I’m taking OP’s post as a sign of hope, that even with a high number of losses a successful pregnancy could still be possible. Appreciate we all have to find our own way through the wilderness somehow though, that’s just the thought process that works for me.

[quote youtown]@Sarah556 yes it is a shitty club for sure and sorry for your losses too.

Sorry OP I feel like my comment was a bit shitty, but it does just put me on more of a downer when I see people struggling but have DC.

Perhaps I should come off MN for a while.

Sorry xxx[/quote]
Your situation is very tough and I do feel for you but the OP has had 7 miscarriages and another posher on here a baby born sleeping. I think it is insensitive to suggest they should be grateful which I'm sure they both are even though they've lost so many babies.

@kirinm I know which is why I said sorry xx

Sorry for your losses OP, 8 miscarriages here. I found a constellation with 8 stars that has special meaning.

for all.

I have carried six babies, but i have one child. For this I am incredibly sad, and incredibly grateful.

I no longer talk about it, but there isn't a day when I don't think about it.

I'm so sorry for every loss on here. I had a molar pregnancy years ago, with 6 months of tests, but was OK and cannot compare this to the experiences in this thread.

I wanted to think about OP and her ideas. OP do you have a favourite flower or pattern, something that would be special to you?

youtown so so sorry for what you have gone through, it is truly awful. 💗💗
I lost 2 before my 1st baby then another 5 before I had my second. It took 10 years to have my 2nd “miracle “ as I call them.

I felt irrational angst and fury against every pregnant woman, especially those announcing at 4/5/6 weeks to the world.
I had an unexplained fury at their utter utter arrogance of assuming that they will be fine.

I should have felt joy that healthy pregnancies do happen. Just not for me.

So no need to apologise, I completely get what you are saying. Xxx

I was thinking of something like this

images.app.goo.gl/znToJGpC3N1kQVZs5

But with just a dot for the baby's head rather than that ponytail shape and I'd need three dots as I lost 3 pregnancies. If that makes sense. I was thinking of having it low down my belly, kind of on top where my uterus is, so it's hidden by high rise knickers / bikini bottoms.