Coming to terms with abortion - financial issues

[Lovelyivy]

So I had an abortion last week. I am 30 and really want children, but I live in london in share house with my partner. We both agreed we can’t afford a child atm. I work in retail and he does admin. So both on minimum wage. We both agreed to start thinking more about career choices and it seems quiet hopeless. My sister married year ago into rich Indian family and she just told me they will start trying next month for baby. I don’t want to be jealous, but I can’t help but feel miserable that if this pregnancy happened to most of my friends or my sister they would be happy or keep the baby just because most of them were born into rich families who could help. My parents family all lives in council homes and my family lives aboard. I’m just so angry with the world that I might never be able to afford baby while everyone around me does. Or if I had a guy who’s parents were at least a middle class I would be able to have the baby I aborted last week. I don’t wanna feel like this and I love my boyfriend so we have something special. I just needed to vent out loud somewhere as world feels so unfair.

OP I completely understand your regret and also the unfairness of it all. You can’t change what’s happened now, but what you can do is make a plan.

So you want a baby, but aren’t in a position to properly care for your child in the way that you would like. And that’s okay. It’s okay not to want to bring up a baby on minimum wage in a shared house. It’s possible of course but it’s understandable why you don’t feel able to do so.

So what do you need to be able to have a baby? It doesn’t need to be a perfect home or a perfect income, or rich parents to help you out. What support can you get? Housing wise even your own small 1 bedroom flat would be doable to start with? And a slightly higher wage? Start making a plan, and soon you will find yourself in a better position. And at the risk of causing offence, at least you know you can get pregnant, and you are only 30. Things could be a lot worst. You’ve got this

It is unfair. On a practical note, I’d say that you need to think about leaving London if a family is the sort of future you guys want together. You can do retail and admin anywhere. The minimum wage is the same nationwide, but in general the cost of living is considerably lower.

@SweetBabyCheeses99

It is unfair. On a practical note, I’d say that you need to think about leaving London if a family is the sort of future you guys want together. You can do retail and admin anywhere. The minimum wage is the same nationwide, but in general the cost of living is considerably lower.

This. Move away from London - your salaries don't have to change for your money to go further. There are plenty of areas that you could rent a whole house for less than you pay for a room share. You made a really difficult decision - but you can make changes so that decision doesn't have to be made again.

Thank you everyone for comments. If it was up
To me we would be out of London long time ago. Unfortunately my partner has all family here and is very close to them. In his eyes we will be able to afford mortgage if we save hard enough . He has this idea from his family who tell he he can do it while they are all on PIP not working having council houses (very entitled people as well). Together are on around 40k….I think he is naive. I love him, but I’m starting to resent him, because I want children and I don’t think he will ever move out of london and we run out of time for me to be able to be a mum…

@Lovelyivy

Thank you everyone for comments. If it was up To me we would be out of London long time ago. Unfortunately my partner has all family here and is very close to them. In his eyes we will be able to afford mortgage if we save hard enough . He has this idea from his family who tell he he can do it while they are all on PIP not working having council houses (very entitled people as well). Together are on around 40k….I think he is naive. I love him, but I’m starting to resent him, because I want children and I don’t think he will ever move out of london and we run out of time for me to be able to be a mum…

You're not married, nor joined at the hip. Unless you've got £££££ in savings, you've no chance of buying any kind of family home in London. Again, the choices you have aren't easy to make, but you still have them. I'd be considering any future with a partner that was a) so tied to his family that he wouldn't leave the town they lived in and b) that was so desperately unrealistic about financial matters.