After Miscarriage

[Emmygrace1]

I recently had a miscarriage at 11 weeks pregnant, we are currently sorting out the funeral and making sure baby is remembered the way we want to.
At the funeral directors today I explained that I only got a very brief moment to see the baby in the hospital and it was still in the gestational sac (it wasn't a very straight forward miscarriage and had a lot of problems)
I didn't get a chance to have a moment by myself with my baby.
I really want to be able to hold my baby before the funeral and I think I will regret it if I don't. The funeral director examined the baby's body and advised me that it may be very traumatic to see the baby in the state it is in which I completely understand. He said he wouldn't stop me if I wanted to but he just advised against it.
Now I don't know what to do, I don't want to miss my chance to see the baby one last time but also don't want to regret my decision and be traumatised by seeing something unpleasant.
I'm not generally fased by death and the thought of seeing the baby doesn't scare me at the moment. Has anyone else seen their baby after miscarriage and found it helpful with grieving or has anyone chosen to see their baby and then wished that they hadn't?
Thank you

I'm sorry for your loss. It must be a very traumatic time for you.

I've had three miscarriages and I saw everything during the first one - not by choice by due to the circumstances and place it happened. The image of that tiny baby haunts me now, 21 years later.

In the kindest way, I think I would take the advice of the funeral director, as hard as that may be.

I think it's a very personal choice and only you know what is best for you. I could make out the baby in my miscarriage but it was much smaller. I felt very detached and unemotional about it in the end. I felt it wasn't my baby, just the body it would have lived in and my baby is actually now somewhere else, somewhere more special than here. I bought and buried it under a tree to mark how special it felt to me when it was alive inside me and the tree feels more of a symbol of the loss than seeing the baby itself. I'm sure whatever decision you make will be the right one. Very sorry for your loss x