When did it get better for you

[Hoping4second]

I'm currently having my third miscarriage. 7 weeks, 11 weeks and now 9 weeks. My first one would have been due in January.

This time I asked for medical management (pills) as the baby has been dead for weeks and I'm still having all the symptoms. I was under the impression that it would be unpleasant, but quick - however that was days ago. Hospital is now saying it could take weeks.

That just broke me. I feel so desperately sad and alone. I've been pregnant for almost nine months now with nothing to show for it. All my friends are either pregnant or have a newborn. I have a toddler I adore beyond words but between the nausea, the tiredness and the pain I'm letting her down big time.

How do I move past the bleakness of it all. What worked for you? Dh wants to try again but I'm not sure I can handle another loss tbh. Much as I would have loved another child, isn't looking after the one we have more important than this drawn out wild goose chase.

For those of you who manage to keep trying - what's your secret? How do you do it?

I dont have anything helpful to say right now other than I hear you and I'm hoping you get the support you need right now and also that your little one sounds lucky to have a mumma who cares enough to worry about letting her down. I'm sure you are doing a much better job than you think. Please be kind to yourself. X

I lost my baby at 10 weeks 5 weeks ago and im devastated can't stop crying still so sad constantly

I’ve lost four babies but am currently feeding my 8 week old. I’d got to the point of giving up when I fell pregnant again. I don’t know where I got the strength from but I allowed myself to go through any emotions I felt - sadness, anger, etc. Counselling helped me massively, I was able to get all my thoughts and feelings out there to someone totally impartial. I had counselling via the charity Petals’s who were amazing. Have you had any testing done? This also helped me work through things in my head too. Please just allow yourself time to heal and grieve but above all give yourself permission to cry, sleep, feel any way you want to, it’s perfectly legitimate.

I’m so sorry. I suffered miscarriages while trying for my son, now I’m too scared to try for another years on as I’m afraid it will all happen again. I’m not sure what words of comfort I can offer, other than I understand how much of a traumatic experience this must be for you. I think miscarriages are far more common than people currently discuss. I’m a part of a friendship group who all met with our first children, we all expressed an interest in having second babies around the same time in the future. Three have gone on to have second babies. The rest of us don’t mention it at all, however I’m sure there’s more going on behind the scenes.

All I can say is that my heart is with you and I wish you all the best. Families don’t have to come in perfect 2 parent 2 children each 2 years packages, and hopefully it will happen xx

I'm so sorry OP I don't know if it can ever be got past, more that over time it becomes less raw (for me anyway). However you're feeling day to day is OK, allow yourself time to grieve.

Thank you everyone for the kind messages