I am 1 in 4 - but I’m also person with feelings, not just a statistic which is what I felt like during my miscarriage.
My MMC happened in June - I began bleeding at 11.5weeks, I had to fight to be seen. Waited 6&1/2 hours to be seen- only for a Dr to check my cervix, diagnose me with a UTI and tell me my baby was ok (as my cervix was still closed)
Two days later I ended up in A&E after another long wait I was admitted. The next day I was scanned and told my baby died at 7 weeks.
I am so angry that the Doctor had given me false hope and reassurance 😡 after being sent home following a D&C I needed a rescan two days later, only to be sent to a waiting room full of happy pregnant women… when my husband noticed my distress, he complained and we were moved… to outside a scan room -where I could hear healthy heartbeats- reminding me of the silence I heard. 😔 the scan confirmed there was no restrained tissue but a shadow which could have been the blood clotting.
It took 11weeks to have a period- I then bled for 3weeks, stopped for a week and then bled and cramped heavily - passing a large mass. The Dr finally agreed to see me and referred me for a ‘URGENT’ scan- this took 7weeks.
I had my scan yesterday, she confirmed from the picture of the ‘mass’ it was pregnancy tissue but couldn’t know if it was retained tissue from the D&C or if I’d loss another pregnancy.- she couldn’t know because it had been too long after I passed it.
So finally I’ve been told my womb is back to normal and I’m physically ready to try again.
And I am scared to death! 😣 I want another child but I’m not sure I can go through this again.
I know I’m luckier than most and I am thankful for that 💕 but I’m struggling to ‘get over it’ it’s been such a long process- next month should have been my Due date.
Am I just being dramatic? Anyone else feeling lost following their loss?
Sorry about the rant- just needed to let it out