What's the least worst way to tell my friend I'm pregnant after her losses?

[Mamabear04]

One of my very best friends has gone through 3 miscarriages over the past couple of years. She lives abroad and although she is one of my very best friends we don't speak on the phone much - mainly the odd text here and there and when she is home we always meet up. I love her so much and I feel so much for her after all the loss and pain she has experienced. My question is what is the least worst way to tell her I'm pregnant (with my 2nd child). Is it OK to text her seeing as we don't speak much on the phone? I also don't know what to say other than I hate to bring up bad feelings/memories for her...

Text is actually really useful as she doesn't have to hide her emotions if it's hard to hear. She can react and then get back to you when she's had time to work through any tough feelings.

You can also say that you don't need her to be thrilled for you and you won't mind if she needs to step back a little from your friendship just while she processes.

It sounds like you're already being really thoughtful about her feelings so know it's ok if you don't get things perfect. If you don't know how best to tell her, say that in the message! If you can both be honest with each other then it'll lower the chances of any hurt feelings.

There's a really good podcast about miscarriage called The Worst Girlgang Ever which has an episode for friends and family - they have some good tips.

Congrats on your pregnancy too!

Hi @Mamabear04, firstly congrats on your pregnancy.

This sort of happened to me this week, but it was my DSis telling me she was pregnant (unplanned). She sent me a message along the lines of "I don't know how to tell you this with everything you've gone through but here goes..." It was a good thing we weren't together as I did not react well, but I needed to have a moan to DH and get it all out of my system. So I'd say text is useful as it allows time to process. The acknowledgement that this was going to be hard to hear also helped, as again it meant I could have that time to sulk. I'm sure we will be fine and my logical brain is switching back on to being more supportive now, but unfortunately it is a hard thing to hear in the first instance.

Best of luck xx