Feeling guilty about time off work after miscarriage

[FlexD]

Hi all. I've been searching everywhere for information about how much time people have had off from work after a miscarriage.

I work 4 days a week (Mondays off) and had the Tuesday off last week to start with the miscarriage medications. I then had the rest of the week off. I think the main part of the miscarriage occurred on Thursday but I am still having the occasional severe cramps now (the following monday) and definitely still feeling very tender. I'm struggling to find info on whether this is normal and how long I can expect it to last...

I work as a student counsellor dealing with very emotional and complex situations and am not sure I can work effectively supporting young people while I am so drained and having these cramps. And yet more than 4 days off (one working week) seems to be a lot in comparison to some stories I've read... Has anyone else had more than a week off?

Many thanks in advance.

I think it depends massively on the miscarriage and also how you are coping with it mentally. With my first I didn't have any time off at all, the 2nd a few days and the 3rd I had 2 full weeks off. Take as long as you need!

I'm sorry for your loss.

If this happened after the 24th week of pregnancy, there is a new statutory right to 2 weeks leave and possibly pay.

If it was earlier than that, check your employer's policies. If there's nothing, 4 days sick leave is quite a short time, but people deal with things in different ways. Some like to get back into their routine ASAP, others benefit from more time off. Don't compare yourself with other people.

Don't feel guilty and take the time you need.

I had three weeks off for mine - found out on the Saturday I'd had a MMC and had the week I had to wait for it to pass or to be scanned again off, then the week I had to have the MVA to remove the miscarriage then the following week as well. I'm a teacher so similar in that I have to support young people and always be on my game. I didn't feel ready ,emotionally, to do that until the end of the third week. My Dr had actually given me a further week off but I felt it was time.

Take your time and remember this will knock you mentally as well as physically. Also remember time off for pregnancy related things doesn't count to your sickness record so if you're off for the miscarriage it isn't counted. If you go back then need time off to recover mentally it will be (I think).

Don't rush anything and take care of yourself, I'm sorry you're going through this.

Thank you so much for your kind replies. I appreciate your thoughts and am also sorry that you have been on this journey too...

I've had two days off and two weeks off. Sorry for your loss OP. You could get signed off easily enough if you need more time.

@hollyhocksarenotmessy

I'm sorry for your loss.

If this happened after the 24th week of pregnancy, there is a new statutory right to 2 weeks leave and possibly pay.

If it was earlier than that, check your employer's policies. If there's nothing, 4 days sick leave is quite a short time, but people deal with things in different ways. Some like to get back into their routine ASAP, others benefit from more time off. Don't compare yourself with other people.

Don't feel guilty and take the time you need.

If it happens after 24 weeks it's a still birth not a miscarriage and you're entitled to your maternity leave.

OP I'm so sorry for your loss. I only had a few days off after two of my miscarriages, and to be honest it was the wrong thing, I should have taken more time. If you need more time take it. I think I was in a bit of a daze and couldn't really process things, but I wish someone had told me to take more time. For my third miscarriage I was actually on leave during the first lockdown, so a rest was sort of enforced on me.

So sorry your going through this. With my first I took a week whilst physically recovering from surgerical management. With my second (both this year) I took nearly two months, as I tried to do it naturally and it wasn't happening. I spoke to my GP and was signed off work (I do have pre existing anxiety and panic). I work for Probation in a Court, and did not feel able to work both mentally and physically. I told my work and they were very understanding, and told me that any sick leave related to miscarriage is recorded differently (not counted to normal absences). I am back to work now, but I did a phased return.

I had 2 weeks off but should have had 3 tbh, my cramps lasted quite a while after. I'm so sorry you're going through this 💐 take the time you need xxx