Will I ever be ready to try again 😔 anyone felt like this?

[Newgirl21]

I want a baby but I am so damn scared of history repeating itself.

I had a missed miscarriage in June at 11.5weeks, managed by a D&C. It took 10weeks for a period to arrive after (which then lasted 3weeks) 10days later I began bleeding again and passed a ‘mass’ -Drs said it looked like some kind of tissue, it could have been a decidual cast or another missed miscarriage, I’m currently awaiting a scan to come through and have been for 9days.
I really dont think I’m strong enough to go through this again. I tend to fall pregnant quite quickly but how can I be sure it won’t happen again.
I actually asked my hubby to ‘withdraw’ last night- telling myself it’s just until after the scan and I find out what the hells going on with my body.
I’m stuck somewhere between grief, fear and hope 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m blessed to have a wonderful son, maybe I should stop pushing my luck and be thankful for what I have.

I had 2 miscarriages before my DS (all ivf) and I'm not sure I could go through that again. Give yourself some time. You don't have to decide anything yet and you are still in the thick of it. It's such a horrible thing to go through.

Thank you @LillyLeaf, I’m so for you loses x

@Newgirl21 I'm currently going through a MMC at 10 weeks. I should be 13 weeks this week and looking forward to my scan and telling people but unfortunately not 💔 all I can think about is getting pregnant again it's driving me crazy. I know I'm still not over it and the fear or going through this again cripples me. It's so hard to want something again so much but be petrified of the process. Confusing place to be in so I totally understand how u feel 😩 xx

I had a mmc in December which took 11 weeks for negative hcg immediately after then a chemical in March. I told myself I'd wait three months to try again. Now 21+2. Stay strong

I had multiple Miscarriages between my DS and DTwins.

I’ve got to say I was anxious throughout the entire pregnancy with my twins. I didn’t enjoy it at all but it was worth it in the end

Thanks for your kind words and I’m so sorry you guys have been through this too 😔 it helps to know that I’m not going crazy even though I feel it sometimes. I think it’s difficult as this process has been so long and my journey is still not over until I get the scan. I’m trying not to be consumed in the thought of trying again but sometimes it’s all I can think about

Just seen this thread and sending you a huge hug @Newgirl21.

If you want to hear other people discussing this, there's a podcast called The Worst Girl Gang Ever which I found really helpful.

You don't have to know what you want right now, you just have to feel whatever you're feeling. You're not stuck, you're just processing a lot of complicated grief and pain. ❤❤❤

Thanks so much @Shortmamashortcycles 💕 I will definitely look at that podcast 👍🏻
Thanks for your kind words and support x x

Hey @Newgirl21 I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know it's easy to say just relax and give yourself time but it's genuinely the only way to heal and work out what you want.
I had a MC then an ectopic. Following that I decided I was never having children, couldn't face it again and it was too much to cope with. I went back on the pill and actually fell pregnant (having been on the pill 6 months, you couldn't script it). That pregnancy didn't work out (and 1 more after that).
Losing the 3rd pregnancy made me realise I actually wasn't ready to give up and I had been so resolute in that decision. It sort of made me realise that my hope to be a mum was still there but it was being drowned out by my grief and fear.
I suppose I just want to say that you will make a decision when the time is right for you. Don't hurry, you're still healing. Please be kind to yourself x

Hello,

I’m so so sorry to hear of your loss, sending everyone lots of love.
I had a miscarriage in July and am desperately trying to figure out if I had a second one two weeks ago.
I experienced the same awful pain as the day I came home after taking tablets from the first time.
It really didn’t feel like it could be anything left over from before as it’s now 3 months later and I’ve had two periods since. Has
anyone else experienced anything similar?
I have photos to share but didn’t want to put them on here unless anyone might have some advice x

Hi @MatelaD
I’m sorry your going through this too 😔 After your miscarriage did you test again - usually that can be a indication if there’s ‘retained product’
I’m actually kind of in the same boat, from my pic I showed the dr and symptoms she couldn’t be sure if it was another MMC or something called a decidual cast - but the pain I had and amount of bleeding didn’t feel like a normal period.
Maybe you send your Dr a pic for a medical opinion? Please feel free to add a pic, im not sure I’d be much use… I couldn’t identify my own picture. Someone else on her may know though x

@Newgirl21 thanks so much for coming back to me.

My pregnancy test was positive for a few weeks when I miscarried and then it showed negative again.

The second time around it still showed as negative but if I was pregnant again I would have only been 2 weeks or so which I don’t think would have shown on the test I used.

It’s tricky not knowing, maybe I will go and get a scan if I can.

It’s all so sad and confusing isn’t it. Yes, I’m the same, I was expecting a period to be painful but that was exactly like the days I was in really severe pain and passing a lot of blood. It certainly didn’t even feel like a painful period.

I have added a couple of pics if anyone can help but I will send them to my doctor too.

Thanks again xx

Images below

I’m sorry hun, I have no idea. Hopefully someone will pick up this thread and be able to help.
The Dr may be able to shed some light, fingers crossed, it may be worth just asking if you could send a image for them to look at, they usually send you a link for a secure message.
Mine didn’t look at all like this, I wish I could be more help x

I’ll also add a image of mine, also hoping someone may know.

honestly though guys look at you own risk, it’s gross

🤷🏻‍♀️