Please give me some hope!

[doodledeedum]

I am currently in the midst of a second miscarriage ( both missed)
First was medicated and this one happened naturally.... I'm in despair.

Please can anyone tell me something positive ESPECIALLY if they've had two miscarriages and then on to a full term healthy pregnancy??

Please...

Two miscarriages last year , in July and then again September

Got our little rainbow 🌈 positive in October , she's now 4 months old

How far are you? Sorry this is happening. I had multiple before my first and another later one before my second. I’ve taken aspirin for all my successful pregnancies

@Itsbeen84yearss I was 8 weeks stopped at 5 with my first
12 weeks stopped at 9 with my second.

I've heard about the aspirin from a few people and my private scan sonography lady also said the same.

Will I be offered this after two .... I've a real
Fear of rejection from this subject with my GP and having to battle some kind of answer or solution....

@123feraverto that's so lovely to hear, really makes me feel hopeful
Though I'm sorry you have losses first x

I self medicated with the aspirin tbh. There’s no risk to it. My midwives were aware I was taking it and said it was fine

I’m so sorry OP 💐 Hope you’re ok.
I had two miscarriages at 11 & 12 weeks when we were trying, then got pregnant pretty much straight afterwards and DS is now 15 months. Mine were linked to hypothyroidism so ask to get your thyroid checked if you haven’t already. Over or under active would cause problems with pregnancy. Take care of yourself and all the best with your journey.

@YessicaHaircut thank you.
With my first my thyroid got checked as I had 'over medicated' ( not intentional) for the pain I was going through as my liver function wasn't good because of this.
I got a 'normal' result from my thyroid check and I assume they only do one type of check?

@Itsbeen84yearss I did think of doing this myself but looking on the net it suggests taking aspirin when pregnant should be prescribed.... not that I don't want to do what you've done. It's very very tempting!!!!! ( I might just do it anyway)

Sorry to hear of your losses OP. I have also had 2 miscarriages this year. Starting nk cells tests this cycle as it's taken a long time to physically recover from my last mmc so I decided I wanted to do something until I was ready to try again.

Will be TTC again at the end of December. Just here for the positive stories also to get me through these long 2 months of not trying!

Oh I'm so sorry for you too @chasingtherainbow1 .... it's so exhausting isn't it? I'm fortunate I have some time off and I'm glad because all I do is stare at the walls.... BUT i want to do something when I have the energy....
NK cells isn't something I've heard of so il look on to this.
I've managed to get a phone consultation with my GP for next week so want to go in to that prepared to ask for tests etc.... I just hope I don't get fobbed off because that's all I'm used to ( with old surgery - since being pregnant the first time I've been with a new one)
If I get fobbed off - even though I'm quite a feisty person - with this subject i don't think I have the energy to fight!

I hope we get more people come forward with good experiences after loss.... it gives me a glimmer of hope ... x

@doodledeedum it really is. Probably more mentally exhausting as I find myself thinking about my future ability to have children probably about 60% of the day!

I heard about nk cells from a friend who is a doctor but it's still in trials really. In a nutshell, it's feels in your uterus which can attack the baby as an immune response. Its not widely done on the nhs so you have to pay for it. I know it sounds daft but it just feels like something my body would do 😂 so whilst waiting I thought it would be a good opportunity to rule it out.

I hope your GP provides some help. Mine just refuse to do anything until I've had a third miscarriage which I fully expected. I think whoever came up with that rule must never have gone through this. I can understand not testing after one miscarriage but two miscarriages really messes with your mental health. I hope you get some answers!

@chasingtherainbow1 I know. It's awful.
I know this time I've lost a part of myself for sure. It won't ever come back, I'm really hoping my gp supports me in some way but we shall see. It shouldn't be three and all I can think about is the same as you and if I decide I'm not going to give it another go that will cripple me too. I feel like saying I'm not doing it again is just me taking control of what ever I can.

More certainly needs to be done to rectify this 'three' rule and the narrative of 1 in 4 needs to be clear it's not just 1 in 4 women but pregnancies too which is incredibly sad!!

Il be willing to go privately if I need to and I'll certainly look at the NK cells
( but again that's me making a decision to try again in the first place!)

It's why I need to hear more success stories! Make me feel like it is possible x

Thank you for such an honest response too

@doodledeedum maybe take a break from trying and see how you feel about it. When I spoke to my consultant, he told me the answer to recurrent miscarriages is perseverance. Although if I get pregnant again, I think it will be the most anxious time and I won't enjoy it but I've come to terms with the fact that I need to keep trying and hopefully we will get there.

He says like you said, the miscarriage statistics are very misleading. He said they should be way higher but not everyone tests as early as some of us.

I just have to wait until I ovulate this month and then I will go for a biopsy to test for nk cells so I'll let you know how it goes.

I've spoken to GP and though I got the usual spiel of 'three MC' I am being sent for tests to see if I get blood clotting and with get a pelvic ultrasound so it's a start. I am extremely reluctant to have another pregnancy just to get over the hump to 3 MC with little hope if it being viable, it's hugely unfair on me and a baby ( how ever they view it, it's my baby)

@doodledeedum I'm glad they're doing something though. My GP won't even test me for blood clotting issues even with a history of DVT 😒

It really is difficult to hear that you have to have 3. I think I've just weighed up how much I want a baby and how much grief I can go through to get it. I decided that I am strong enough to try again now and hope for a better outcome. But everyone goes at their own pace. Take some time off TTC and see how you feel in time. If you need anyone to rant with or someone to talk to along the way, I'll always listen

@chasingtherainbow1 thank you... I'm
Going to do these tests and what ever else I can before I try again but I think I will after the tests. I need to know I did the best I could and not just hope for the best or go for three before getting anything.
My GP seemed to make it sound like this is all they could offer before the statutory 3 rule for further tests . Please please please ask for a second opinion or even make a complaint to the GP manager. Even tommys site says blood tests for clots etc should and can be done after 1/2 MC.
It's honestly given me some relief to know SOMETHING can be looked at.
If they refused I would have done what I've advised and paid for a private test myself.
I wish you all the luck and strength... rant at me when ever you're want too. I'm always lurking on MN anyway x

@chasingtherainbow1 how are you doing? X

@doodledeedum hi I'm doing ok thanks. Had my biopsy for nk cells on this Monday just gone so glad to have one out of the way. Will be doing the same again next month after ovulation and then I'll be back to trying again. The biopsy wasn't too bad and it feels good to know I'm doing something.

I think I'll wait for the results of this and if they're all clear I will try speak to my GP again in regard to some tests.

How are you getting in? I hope you're feeling a little more positive about things now. It's a bumpy road it's it with lots of up and down days but we're resilient and will come out the other end

@chasingtherainbow1 oh I'm pleased things are finally moving along, I know the feeling. Just happy to be moving along at all. Glad you're feeling a bit more positive..! X

I had all the bloods done and nothing came back as a concern so I still feel stuck,
I'm contemplating not trying at all... I'm always ready to be a mum but this time I'm not ready for a loss. I think il break.
I've looked at lots of threads and discussions on taking aspirin so I think IF i do this or it happens without me trying il take it this time ... don't think il have much more to lose and from what I've read it has no adverse effect.....
My main concern now is 'is my age effecting this all and is waiting till I feel ready ( if I ever do) going to make this situation worse?!'

@Doodledeedum Yeah it was nice to speak to the professor and get his reassurance on the whole thing. I think even if he doesn't find anything they prescribe progesterone just in case. Just want this next month to pass quickly now. I'm on CD1 now so feels good to be onto the second part of this trial now.

It's good that they didn't find anything as that means it's more likely to be down to genetic reasons with the eggs rather than a problem with you (although obviously it's still just as emotionally painful). Yea you should so what feels right for you at the moment, if you feel you need to take a break then listen to your mind.

How old are you btw? I'm 32 atm so we're throwing everything into it whilst we feel like we're at a point in our life where we've done with everything else. Just praying it will be our time soon

@chasingtherainbow1 I am 37 now....
i was ready around 35 but we gave it one year wait due to covid and not knowing what was happening....
plus side I'm just finishing my first period! Nice to know my body is doing what it should. You're right I didn't think of it like that... I just hope I have some good eggs so if it happens we don't go through this again and again x

@Doodledeedum is that you first period since the miscarriage? I remember it making me feel better knowing my body was getting back to normal again.

I'm sure you will still have good eggs. It gets harder when we're in our 30's but it will happen, you just have to persevere if it's what you really want and when/if you are ready to try again.

The thought of going through all of this again makes me so anxious and sad but I know that I'd feel more sad later in life if I didn't try again. We're already strong for getting through this so just remember to be gentle on yourself and be proud of what you've already overcome

@chasingtherainbow1 I felt exactly that way before trying for a second time... now not so much but there will be a day I might..., let's see, hard to see the wood through the trees at the moment
Yes it's the first one since. Took about 30/31 days so I'm quite pleased and yes it is good knowing my body is doing what it's supposed to for the most part and then I'm so trusting of it that I need to trust it did what it needed to in the MC process too. Maybe things weren't ok and il never know, I also am so grateful ( as bad as this might sound) the decision wasn't in my hands later on down the line - if I'm told somethings wrong I don't know that I'd cope much better to be honest!

I'm telling myself , all in good time. What is going to happen will.

@Doodledeedum I know, the first miscarriage is bad enough but suffering a second in a row is a pain so much worse than what I felt the first time round. It's because you get all of the worries for the future too.

I know what you mean about the decision not being in your hands. I think I feel the same.

Yea I'm a firm believer in everything happening for a reason. What is meant to be will be. I have up and down moments. I think my biggest down moments now are getting negatives each month now we're trying again. I've always fallen pregnant the first time trying so to go through months of negatives now is just another kick in the teeth. But we keep trying!

Hope you are well OP - I am going through the exactly same situation second miscarriage and same age trying for our first. Love to know how you got on. I hope it all worked out for you whatever that looked like xxxx

Just an update...
I fell pregnant Jan 2022

I found out on the 6th of Jan and had a scan due on the 10th to scan my uterus for any abnormalities
As you can see from previous discussion I was speaking to GP to see what they could investigate. They did more blood tests and booked this scan for me
The day of the scan I had some bleeding so I called my GP to explain I was pregnant and bleeding but wanted to log the pregnancy so that if anything should happen I would get referred to the clinic for multiple miscarriages. GP said I could go to EPU to get a scan to see what was going on - made an appointment for me for the Friday .
I went along to that scan, on the 10th ( Monday) told them I was pregnant and they said they could still do the scan.
Tuesday I had a call from GP to say that the scan on Monday showed I was in fact miscarrying... I had a collapsed pregnancy.. I looked at what this meant and it was a blighted ovum. I was a bit concerned as what ever I read said you can't diagnose a blighted ovum correctly before 7 weeks ... I still had my scan on the Friday and GP said to go along so I could confirm the pregnancy was failing.

I went along that Friday and lo and behold- my pregnancy was spotted... ( same lady from my Monday scan was in the back ground and could hear the sonographer saying there's no way the pregnancy could have been spotted when I went on Monday) the pregnancy showing was the tiniest black circle I had to squint! There was a pool of separate blood which was NOT the pregnancy- and likely where the bleeding was coming from... so I was in fact still technically pregnant
I had another scan booked in for two weeks later... when I would be six weeks pregnant .
I went along and there the baby was with a heart beat and everything- pool of blood almost gone.

I took 75mg aspirin from the day I got a positive result along with multivitamins ( pregnancies) and an extra dose of vitamin D and Folic acid.
I don't know why but taking these felt right to me
I took all till week 13 and carried on with extra vit D and aspirin till week 38
I got a private scan every two weeks till my NHS one as I was a ball of nerves. I had a few complications but nothing major. I went in to triage every time I felt worried and I spoke to midwife when I could.

My pregnancy was successful, I now have a beautiful little 15 week old girl.

I'm so sorry for your losses @LAURAPAX ... I understand that visceral pain... I am still not over my previous losses... I think of them every day ... I really hope things go in a more positive direction for you. Happy to answer any DMs x