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I just found Im having a miscarriage
17

jokerflowers · 01/10/2021 15:08

I don't know what to do, how will I ever stop crying? It's early on. I should be 8 weeks but I started bleeding 2 days ago and a scan today showed my baby stopped growing at 5 weeks. I'm in my car, sobbing uncontrollably. I've never experienced this, I always thought it wouldn't be as bad at early stages, at least I couldn't feel it kick or I don't have to give birth to it, but how wrong I was. I can't get the image of my tiny dead baby out my head, knowing it's still inside me and will not come into the world, I'm heart broken. Absolutely heart broken

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GeorgiaMcGraw · 01/10/2021 15:23

Love, I'm so sorry. It's awful, and you will grieve. You will survive, even if it doesn't feel like it sometimes. I had a mmc too this year. Found out at 12wk scan that baby hadn't got past 7 weeks. Awful. I still get tearful. The scan was end of March and I had a natural completion mid-April. Got pregnant end of June, about to have a 12wk scan today. The fear and upset stays with you, to an extent, but you can only persevere. You need to focus on getting through this. Be gentle with yourself. Eat and drink what you want, and rest plenty. You did nothing wrong. You couldn't have prevented it. Chances are it will never happen again, even if it does, you will likely have a healthy pregnancy at some point in the near future. FlowersFlowersFlowers

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jokerflowers · 01/10/2021 15:44

@GeorgiaMcGraw thank you lovely, I think im still in shock. I never thought this would happen to me, I always feel so much for the women that have been through this and although if it was later I feel it would've been worse, I'm still processing the loss of my child. It's the what ifs! Do you mind me asking what was your process with getting pregnant after this happened to you? How long after did you have period and then did you get pregnant that next cycle? Sorry if you said this my mind is foggy. And I'm sorry you've been through this too, I hope all goes well with your scan! Please let me know? Thinking of you ❤️

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GeorgiaMcGraw · 01/10/2021 15:58

@jokerflowers no problem, I know how you feel. It's like your world has been taken from you, but it will get better. So I waited for the natural miscarriage which came about 2 weeks after the scan. I was basically stuck in bed for a day or two, and took a few weeks off work. Started ovulation testing a couple weeks later, ovulated maybe a month after the completion. Then had a period, then another, then pregnant after that (lmp 29th June). I was in such a rush to get pregnant again, but probably should have written the first month off. Me and DH did go for a nice weekend away which helped make me feel human again. I'll be thinking of you too. It's awful, but you'll get there x

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jokerflowers · 01/10/2021 16:18

@GeorgiaMcGraw I'm hoping my completion comes naturally too, they said that now I know, hopefully my brain will tell my body what to do. I think that's one of the worst parts for me, is the waiting, feeling in such a hurry to have it happen again, but it's no quick process! I was thinking about trying to go away for a weekend, maybe that would help. Get some spa treatments whilst I'm no longer pregnant before I start again, I feel I need a way to distract myself. Thank you for sharing, I hope I feel better soon

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GeorgiaMcGraw · 01/10/2021 19:25

@jokerflowers yes, you'll want to pamper yourself and enjoy some wine before you start trying again. I took Dong Quai supplements to try to bring on the completion, no idea if it helped, but it can't hurt. Don't be scared of the natural method or of what you'll see and feel. When it happened for me, I went into a purely primal mode. I was in the bathroom most of the night, passing blood, tissue, pregnancy sac, placenta. I'm normally so squeamish but it was ok. My body knew what to do and I let my instincts take over. You'll get through it, as awful as it is. I've had very happy news tonight, my scan was good, I'm 13 weeks along now. I know you'll have your happy news before long too, you just have to go through this horrible chapter first. Just remember to look out for signs of fever/scepsis after you complete, and don't be afraid to ask the doctor/nidwife if you're not sure, or want a scan to check it has gone ok.

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jokerflowers · 01/10/2021 19:51

@GeorgiaMcGraw I'm so so happy that your scan went well and your baby is healthy and happy! Despite my awful news today, I feel that's helped me a bit knowing that, it gives me hope! I went out earlier and bought myself some new pants to ride this out in, a new dressing gown to cry in, and a bit of wine. The blessings getting heavier now and I'm getting aches, i asked my body to help me get clear out and so far I feel like it's listening. when you had your first couple of periods that you didn't try for, did you use contraception during those and until you were ready to try again? I have a scan on Friday to make sure I'm clear so hopefully I can ask some questions on this then on what I'm meant to do moving forward

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JenniferR2021 · 23/11/2021 21:38

I lost my baby last week at 10 weeks I'm devastated can't stop crying.

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AdrianeMole · 23/11/2021 23:26

Hello @JenniferR2021 i am so sorry for your loss. I going through the same right now at 16 weeks. You are not alone. This is so horrible. Flowers

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ValeC2021 · 24/11/2021 17:16

Hello,
I’m in the same situation, went for a scan yesterday (7weeks) but been told that embryo is only 5 weeks and no heartbeat. Unfortunately had some bleeding and discharge on Monday and all today, having terrible cramps so I believe I’m losing my baby.
The sadness is real and I i hope the physical pain will end soon.

Please let me know how you copying and if you recovered well, I think hearing happy stories will fuel some hope! Flowers

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JenniferR2021 · 24/11/2021 17:53

I'm not copying good the pain and emptiness is terrible all I do is cry its terrible x

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AdrianeMole · 24/11/2021 18:40

@JenniferR2021 its awful isn't it. Can you have some phone conversations with anyone, like family or a helplines. I've been trying to do that the last 24 hours and it is helping. The Samaritans are great if especially at night when no one is around. I called the miscarriage association line today, I'll call anyone professional for a free chat in a crisis, it really helps.

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JenniferR2021 · 24/11/2021 19:18

No I've not called anyone except family but no one been through it so they don't know how am feeling I'm off work just now want to go back to take my mind off it but don't think I can handle it can't talk about it without crying it's awful x

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AdrianeMole · 24/11/2021 19:57

I would recommend calling the miscarriage association helpline tomorrow if you are up to it.01924 200799.

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ValeC2021 · 24/11/2021 20:30

@JenniferR2021
Aww Jennifer, I’m so sorry to hear that, I’m the same, I just cry.
My miscarriage has not been confirmed yet, I have to scan again in two weeks, but all this waiting and painful cramping is just heartbreaking, going to toilet every 10minutes as I’m scared it started.

If you need to talk please feel free to DM me, but @AdrianeMole is right, just talk with someone, and give yourself time to don’t be ok.
I’m sending you big hugs

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JenniferR2021 · 24/11/2021 20:36

I was same going for scans every week was mental torture then to be told last week it had grew but no heartbeat lost it layer that night ill call the number thanks xx

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ValeC2021 · 24/11/2021 23:10

@JenniferR2021 yes, it’s the waiting game which is a torture, I’m really sorry we have to go thru this. Xxx

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JenniferR2021 · 24/11/2021 23:11

@ValeC2021 I hope you are ok xx

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